Chapter 121

Lunch was not the fun affair it had become for him. Oh, it was still filled with chatter and joking like always, and Harry certainly acted like he was having a good time. But honestly, he really just wanted to finish lunch so he could drag his friends off and yell at them for not listening to him the night before. Harry was just grateful none of them were skilled at reading other people, or they might have actually noticed that his smiles and laughs were even faker than the ones he gave when he had been at muggle school.

Eventually, lunch ended. It was Thursday, so they didn't have classes afterward, which meant it was the perfect time for Harry to let them know his displeasure.

Which was why after lunch, at Harry's insistence, Hannah, Lisa, Neville, Susan and Terry all found themselves standing in an unused classrooms on the second floor. It was, in fact, the very same classroom Harry had used when practicing Transfiguration last night, before that troll had tried turning him into a human pancake.

He selected this place for two reasons. One, because it was secure and no one came here very often. And two, because he wanted to remind them of what happened last night so his talk would be that much more effective.

During lunch he had worked up a whole speech to that he would give them on how foolish they had been to ignore his order to leave and find a teacher, and how disappointed he was in them. Yet now that they were here, the words hanging off the tip of his tongue, Harry wasn't all that sure about what he wanted to say anymore. Or maybe he was just afraid of losing their friendship.

No, Harry mentally shook his head. That wasn't it. They needed to understand that what they had done was dangerous and stupid. They needed to know why they couldn't something like that again.

"Harry?" Lisa interrupted the boy's thoughts, a curious and slightly worried expression on her face. "Are you alright?"

"No," Harry told her, running a hand through his hair and blowing out a large breath at the same time. "No, I am not. In fact, I am incredibly disappointed in all of you." Every single one of Harry's friends blinked. Then their eyes widened. They looked like they wanted to say something, but he wasn't going to let them get a word in before he finished.

"Just what in the bloody hell were you guys thinking?! Sticking around while a murderous troll was rampaging through the castle when I explicitly told you to leave!"

Neville and the others took a step back in shock and a little bit of fear when Harry gave them a fierce glare. It was a look they had never seen on him before. In fact, no one had ever been subject to this glare except the Dursleys when he was younger. The only difference between this one and the one he often gave his relatives was that the look he gave now contained worry, while the other had been an expression of Harry's hatred.

Both had the same effect, however, and were utterly terrifying to behold.

"H-Harry," Neville stuttered out, looking more than a little intimidated. "W-we just wanted to help you, mate."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't need help?" asked Harry, practically hissing now. He was beginning to get worked up. Not even his skills in Occlumency were helping him keep a clear head. "Did it never occur to you that perhaps I had a plan for dealing with the troll? That maybe I had everything under control before you interfered?"

"It didn't look that way," Terry muttered, only to stiffen when Harry's eyes, blazing with emerald green fire the same color as the killing curse, pierced his own like a spear. The Ravenclaw boy gulped, but somehow managed to find his voice. "We all saw how much trouble you were in. That thing was close to squashing you like a grape."

"The troll would have never hit me," Harry told him adamantly. "Troll's are notorious for their strength, not their brains or lightning fast reflexes. It would have never touched me. And had you lot not decided to try and play hero and simply gone off and found a teacher like I told you to, none of what happened last night would have happened! Gods, the only reason I even ended up half dead was because it went after you guys!"

Everyone flinched as Harry made his point. Terry and Neville looked stricken, torn between wanting to argue with their friend and acknowledging that he may actually have a point. Lisa had a hand close to her mouth and was shaking her head, eyes watering with tears that refused to fall. Susan and Hannah were much worse. The blond pig-tailed girl looked like someone had just killed her puppy, while her friend stared at the ground, shoulders shaking as she shed silent tears.

A part of Harry felt guilty, but he squashed that part and reminded himself that they needed to understand how foolish their actions had been. They needed to realize that they could have easily been killed.

"I had everything under control." Harry rounded on them again. "And it would have continued to stay that way had you five not been so bloody stupid and just ran like I told you to!"

"We couldn't leave you!"

Once again, all were surprised by Susan Bones as she shouted at Harry. Even the young raven-haired boy found himself staring at the girl in wide eyed surprise.

"We couldn't just leave you," Susan said again, her red hair flying about her face like ardent flame whipping about in a strong breeze. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her body shook from the emotions pouring from her. "I could have never forgiven myself if something happened to you. What if you were hurt, or worse, killed? If something had happened to you I—"

Susan broke off. More tears ran from her eyes and down her cheeks. She shook her head once, as if to dispel whatever had caused her to stop talking, but was unsuccessful.

As everyone else stared at the normally shy and quiet girl in shock, Harry closed his eyes as guilt finally overwhelmed him. Yes, what they had done was stupid and beyond reckless, but really, were his actions that night any better? He had run head first into danger the moment he heard Hermione's scream. He had fought against a troll with only a small set of first year defense spells in his repertoire. And when his friends had been in danger he had jumped on said troll's back, as if that would actually do something. He may have been able to kill it in the end, but that had been act of luck, not skill.

"Look..." Harry blew out a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not that I don't appreciate your desire to help it's just..." he paused, hesitating, then shook his head. "It's just that you guys could have easily been killed. What if that troll managed to reach you before I reached it? What would have happened if I had been just a tad slower with my wand? What if that last second spell I used to trip it hadn't worked? That thing would have killed you, and I..." He grit his teeth, refusing to shed any tears. "... I don't think I could ever live with myself if something happened to any of you."

His friends dropped their heads in shame. Harry shut his eyes and shook his.

"That's why I need you to understand," Harry looked at the group of mixed house company imploringly. "You can't act so recklessly. If I ask you guys to do something, it's because I know what I'm doing, because I have a plan. I acknowledge that I what I did was little better, but I also know my own limitations, and killing that troll had never been in my plans. I was only hoping to distract it long enough for a teacher to come by. That's why I asked you to run."

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