Whack-a-mole, or is it a mole...? (4)

--------------------------------------------------------Chapter 7 : Whack-a-mole, or is it a mole...? (4) : (A cold heart full of sins can always change, all they need is the right golden retriever to save them.)--------------------------------------------------------For the most part of her life, J had been.. A terrible person so to say, she'd been one hell of a bitch . Not like a whore or a plain asshole, but an egotistical bitch.That was an undeniable fact, for the time she'd been with N, from the time at their mansion to arriving at Copper 9, she'd been abusing him mentally and physically, calling him insultive nicknames and hurting him to the point where he needed hours to regenerate.Of course, N, being the handsome wholesome devil he was, repressed it under the notion of her doing it because she knew what's best for both him and the team.She was the leader after all..She thought she was doing the right thing, she thought she wasn't a bad person, or that the company always came first.Oh, how wrong she was.. Haha..Her beliefs about the company fell down gradually after Tessa told her everything,The Worker Drones weren't exactly 'corrupt' but rather were being culled by the [ABSOLUTELSOLVER] for more possible hosts.Don't get her wrong though, she knew what she did was wrong. She thought what she was doing was alright and fine. Few bits of her memories were also scrapped when she became a disassembly drone when they arrived at Copper 9, making her actions towards N more.. Abusive than what she would have done back when she was a maid.When J saw the jaws of death enclose in on her, she took in her final breath as her life flashed before her.Because there was no coming back from this death, once you were killed by an Eldritch.. You're gone forever .They didn't know how, it just could.She remembers her first meeting with Tessa, and to her first activation.The company had created her as a personal maid and guard for Tessa, at first she was unsure if what she'd been doing was fine, but in the end they ended up bonding together and becoming friends.They spent a lot of the time together, J learned that there was more to her current environment, she wasn't exactly fond of the mansion or what Tessa's parents are doing to her. Who the hell chains up their own daughter? She also didn't like how most of her fellow drones were treated, they were casually killed like insects for the smallest minor inconvenience, the mistress even chained up drones to be perked to death by crows.Not like she could do much about it, she was the head maid, she was expected to be the most responsible.She was always sucking up to the higher ups and being the 'upright and perfect' drone, she did somewhat find some joy in it, but there were times she wanted more than nothing but to be far from the humans, excluding Tessa of course.It wasn't long until V and N appeared in her life, Tessa had been more than happy to befriend them and treat them as her own family.V was a shy and delicate girl back then, she did her job properly, she was probably one of the most responsible and helpful and J liked that, N on the other hand.. Was probably the most annoying and useless drone she'd ever laid her optics on.But that did not mean she did not see him as a friend, her time at the mansion with them was.. Probably the best memories she'd ever had, even if it was grim and annoying at times.She cherished it. Of course, she didn't show it, she was a leader after all...But then again.. She wasn't the best leader out there was she..? ++--------------------++J leaned on her soft comfortable spandex chair, she was currently resting on the 2nd floor of the apartment she was currently living in, the same apartment where V, Uzi, N and the rest were currently living in, it was a temporary home after the whole shitty war with the rogue drones. She was currently chugging down on a high-grade petroluem, only wearing her underwear and bra. Why was she dressed so inappropriately? Well, she was drunk. She was recently brought back to life as a Mark III by Tessa after she took on like, three? Four? Four squads of DD's alone in order for N and Uzi to reach Tessa. Yeah, she died again, not that she minded it since she was upgraded again. Death wasn't really that concerning to her, once everything goes black she just wakes up in another body, the whole dying part was... unsettling though. The reason she was drinking and murking around like a degenerate was.. Because of a certain someone. That someone being N, someone who she was supposed to look out for each other's back, her own squadmate, the very person she's hurt for so long. God, she's done a lot of things to him, hasn't she? She was currently alone in a room with a couch and a table, quite luxurious from its appearance, you can thank her for that. Since there was no one in the building she had some time to herself and her thoughts. "Amend things with him huh.." She muttered to herself, remembering a certain event that took place during the war against the Rogue disassemblers.. She and N had an argument, one that she lost, her mind kept going back to that conversation, losing an argument wasn't that much of a deal to J obviously, she'd have to be unbelievably childish to be drowning in petroleum just because of one lost argument. No, it wasn't that. N had.. Said some things that really hit too close to home, like REALLY close. Her core ached whenever she remembered the words he said to her, every last bit of it, down the smallest detail. 'You keep acting as if you've made no mistake, you're blaming ME for the failed ambush when it was all YOU . You keep moving the goalposts whenever I meet them, I fail to catch up or do something in time? I'm suddenly the worst drone in existence, well EXCUSE YOU ! I'm not a perfect person J, but whenever I DO meet your expectations you simply move them up.. You're a narcissistic person, doing the right thing for 'everyone' my robotic metal rear, the reason we clearly failed this ambush was you being egotistical, you didn't even take into account that our enemies wouldn't NOTICE everything we've laid. Not everyone is at fault for your doing's J... No one's perfect.' His words rang out once again in her mind, she was pretty sure that was not all of it, it was true that they failed to launch an attack because she was too overconfident. Being a father really changed N for the better, she guessed. Because normally he would have stood there sweating, eyes darting around and apologizing to J, instead, he stood her ground and called her out for all the things she's done. She kept on trying to convince herself she wasn't a bad person after that, she was only following orders, then it clicked. All the tortures, abuse and harassment she's done to him... What kind of leader and friend was she for doing all of that? Man, the whole change from worker to disassembler must have really changed her. She took another chug at the bottle she was holding, she would have drunk all of it if not for someone ringing the bell on her door. "Doors open." She said before putting both of her legs on top of the glass table that was in front of her. She nearly spat out her drink when she saw who it was there entered, N . Why is he here? What was the main cause of her guilt doing here? N entered the room and immediately grew flustered from J's current state of decency "W-What the, J?!" Blushes immediately formed on his visor. "N? Why are you here?" She slurred to him, completely ignoring his reaction and her current state of clothing. "W-What do you mean what am I doing here? We asked you to babysit the kids while we were away!" He loudly complained to her. Oh, right. Fuck. She forgot she was currently babysitting their brats, so that's why the room looked so different, she lived on the 1st floor , not the 2nd. Oh well, the kids were already asleep so drinking wasn't really a problem right? "N, what's the time right now..?" She asked. N sighed and pinched his 'temples', he looked at her with a flat expression and answered. "J.. It's 5 in the middle of the night, are the kids even asleep?" J tilted her head back to see the room empty, "Obviously? If they weren't I wouldn't have drunk this gasoline." She said while dangling the bottle in front of him. N rubbed a hand on his head and sighed. This was really unlike J, she would never drink so indiscriminately. Eventually he picked up on the situation, she had problems she was either trying to forget or pass through, it didn't take a genius to figure that out. N sighed, as much as he wanted to help her there's no doubt she would shoo him away. He was glad the kids were already asleep when his leader decided to get drunk, it wouldn't do good for the little goobers to be influenced by her behavior, he leaned to take a step forward to the kids rooms that was behind the couch J was sitting at, when J suddenly called out to him. "N, Can you.. Come here and sit with me..?" J asked, her eyes looking at the completely different direction from where he was. N raised an eyebrow, straightened his back. A few years ago he would have probably started sweating balls, that changed when you had to deal with bullshit things like whatever the Solver was. He was barely fazed by J whenever she gets uppity nowadays. 'I want to make sure the kids are actually asleep... But J looks like she's got something to say.' N looked back to the door to the kids room, he frowned and sat down at the furthest seat on the three-person seat couch. J did nothing as he sat down, she simply took one look at the bottle she was holding and drank it all like it was the last drop of oil she'll ever get. N's frown grew deeper, why was she drinking..? She's getting way too drunk from what he's seeing here. Were her problems that big? If it was, what was it? J eventually finished drinking the bottle, blushes formed a bright yellow complexion below her eyes, her expression right now was the perfect definition of 'Drunk' since her eyes are half open already. N had never seen her like this, he was REALLY tempted to force her to a bed and put her to sleep. Mostly out of concern for her. J's eyes darted around slowly, before they landed on N, she stared at him for a good minute which put N more on edge. Seriously, what the heck is going on here? It's unnerving to him how she's staring at him.. Is she angry..? That would have been the only explanation he thought of were he to be the same 'useless' squadmate years ago, he's proved himself to be one of the best fighters out there and J knows that, he knew she wouldn't be angry so randomly. He also knew J was not the kind of person to strip down to her undergarments and drink herself to oblivion. So why. Was she looking at him like a piece of premium meat inside a very cheap supermarket, why does she have the same eyes his wives have when they're... In the mood. ... Okay, maybe not? That's impossible and he wasn't really the best at reading women's actions. J eventually spoke up after minutes passed by, N was still having his internal crisis. "N." She called his name. "Y-Yeah..?" He responded "N.." She called out his name again. "Yes.. J?" "Nnn..." She uttered his name slowly this time around. "..." He didn't say anything since he had the idea that it might continue on for a long time. "..." "..." "Am I a bad Leader.. N?" What? That came out of nowhere, was that the reason she's drinking herself out? It was because she thought she was a bad leader..? N straightened his gaze on her with a serious expression, "No J, you're not a bad leader-" "Why?" She cut him off before he could finish, he had a confused expression. "Why what..?" "Why wouldn't I be a bad leader..? Why would YOU not call me a bad leader." She said as if she was telling that to herself instead. N's gaze on her softened. "J... When we.. First arrived here, you acted first and did your job as a leader accordingly. Even a while back in the mansion, you were always the most responsible and hard working person I've known, sure you weren't perfect but you did everything in your power to be a good leader. You not only tolerated having a terrible squadmate like me but still looked out for me. Except when you tried to kill me using a virus and abused me for years." He said that last part VERY silently in order for J not to hear it, which of course, she heard due to having a stronger programmed sense of hearing. J was about to say something but N continued. "You even disregarded Tessa's orders to help V back at the elevators.." He said solemnly, he was really glad for J saving V from the Sentinels back then. J did nothing while she listened to him, her eyes were both widened at his honest opinion of her... Before her eyes burrowed with.. Anger? N couldn't put it into words as he looked at her, but it looked like she was angry at something else rather than him. "Why..?" She said weakly. "Why.. What J?" He asked softly. "WHY are YOU not angry at me?!" She yelled so suddenly that it startled N. "W-What?" "Why of you of all people, why do you not hate me when I've hurt you the most?! Why do you not HATE me?!?!" Her voice got louder with each question, N looked towards the kids room and was worried they might get woken up by J's absolutely booming voice right now. He looked back to J who had somehow gotten close to him without him noticing, she was currently on top of him and given her appearance right now, he couldn't help but be flustered at how close her face was to him. Calm down N! You're married to Uzi and V already, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, CALM DOWN!! Somewhere inside his processors, the council of Mini-N's inside his head were all running around panicking, J's actions were sending mixed signals to N, because he knew damn well she's being uncharacteristically too CLOSE TO HIM! N's thoughts skidded to a stop when he processed her words, the whole cause of her drinking problem was because of.. Him? That didn't make sense, sure, she was a terrible person to him. An outright 'bitch' by Uzi's words, but couldn't bring himself to hate her as he knew she was only doing it because she was following orders. It's not like she did all those abusing because she enjoyed it, right..? Either way, he needed to comfort J somehow. "J, why would I hate you..? You're my leader, you were only doing what was right, right..?" That didn't have the effect he wanted as J went from moody angry to pissed off angry, what did he do wrong? She wound up her arm back and clenched her fist, N immediately closed his eyes for the inevitable strike that was going to hit him, he could easily catch said punch but he wouldn't do it out of respect for J, it was clear she wasn't acting herself because of the petroleum, he expected a stream of pain to run through his systems when his eyes were closed, but were instead met with light taps on his chest. N heard it, the sounds of sobbing, it wasn't the kind of cry you'd make when you were sad or grieving nor was it of anger. It was that of guilt, N didn't know why he knew that but he just did, he opened his eyes to see J who was crying on his chest, slamming her fists over and over on his chest cavity, they didn't have any force within them, just the hammering of light taps. J's head was currently burrowing in his coat. He immediately grew worried as to why she was crying, he'd never seen her this vulnerable before. "H-Have you forgotten what you told me!? All those words you've so slapped to my face to give me a reality check! Were all those words just some act to look cool in front of people!? You. Goddamn. Jackass!" J kept hammering his chest, N simply let her do as she wished while she was sprawled on top of him, he needed to let her vent it out if she was like this. "You. Stupid. Handsome. Nice. Bastard! Don't you hate ME!?" She made sure to put emphasis on her words as she hit him, N's eyes widened at her comment, not expecting her to call him that when he's someone she's (probably) hated for so long, but what she said through N into a spiral, he was quite literally confused as to what was happening. He did know and still remember the very words he said to her, he made sure to let her know that he meant every word back then since he had enough of her, but seeing her like this, he couldn't help but feel the growing spurt of guilt that rose up in his chest. J was never emotional or attached to anyone, she acted strict and calculated to everyone, except, N knew that J was soft around Tessa and was the only person she could be herself without putting up the 'Perfect and Responsible Leader' act, he saw it for himself secretly when he was sneaking around back when Tessa was still able to enter the planet without the unknown interruptions of the planet. And now she was being vulnerable, something she would never do, especially with him of all people. N, like the golden retriever he was, took it upon himself and acted, like he would usually do when he saw people sad, it was in his literal programming and personality. "J." He took hold of J's shoulders, softly grasping them. It briefly made J stop from hammering her fists on his chest, she looked at him with drunken tears of anger. "Look.. I didn't know it affected you that much, I'm really sorry, I meant what I said back then but I didn't mean it for you to be hurt that much." He said apologetically. J's expression turned even more wrathful upon hearing his words, however before she could lash out on him, he spoke over her. "But.. That doesn't mean I hate you, J, for crying out loud, you're my leader." His expression softened as he rested his hands on her shoulder. "Sure you did some really.. Bad things but so did I, we literally murdered thousands upon arriving here." He really regretted all of that, "I WAS angry at you back then , both out of concern for everyone and reaching my breaking point." He darted his eyes to the sides while saying that he was uncharacteristically angry at J for blaming things on people. N looked straight into J's drunken eyes, she was listening to him intently, each word being recorded into her memory. "I DID hate you, but.. How can I keep hating you when you're trying to change..?" N gave her the most innocent smile while saying this. "You were trying to your best for everyone too, you saw how our friends and allies were slowly dying and immediately acted on it, you were trying to be the best leader there was not only for us but for everyone else, the J I knew would have simply shrugged them off as 'Toasters' or 'Incompetent'" N took a light breath as he continued. "You helped out everyone in that war, admit it or not, you did more than me, V and Uzi combined even if we were the ones to have managed to stop it, without you we would have lost more than just a few dozen people." N said, recalling the events of the Rogue Disassemblers war. He grimaced from the memory, but smiled once again at J."You were just doing what you thought was right, and I liked that. I CAN'T hate you when you genuinely cared for everyone, even after you nearly killed Uzi." J's expression widened, her mouth ajar after hearing N's honest confession, there was a growing feeling in her stomach that she could not understand, it was almost too warm and pure. She wasn't familiar with what it was. She grit her teeth, looking at him with remorseful anger. "I-I, That's the thing you idiotic moron! I.. Did care.. Barely." she said weakly, almost as if she was trying to curse herself, "I was.. Doing everything from orders, I hated you because you were.. The complete opposite of me, you contrasted everything that I was." J started tearing up again, finally stopping smacking N's chest as if it was the Absolute solver. "You were carefree as to where I was strict, you were energetic and bright while I was cold and rude to anyone who wasn't a higher-up.." She rested her head on his chest, causing N to shuffle a little bit. "I hated it, I hated everything that you were.. I thought to myself 'Why would a drone like him exist..?', but then, you STILL care even after everything I've done.." She weakly raised her head, looking at N with a regretful face. "How... How can you not hate me..? " She said so ever weakly, N had a soft expression, almost warm. TOO warm of a smile, a smile that worsened the feeling she had in her stomach, her guilt unknowingly sputtering out of existence, and gratitude growing ever so brightly. She looked at him intensely, waiting for his response. "I guess, I'm just me J. Like i said before, you're my leader, you're trying to be a better person and love that. I couldn't be even more grateful to have someone like you to watch over me.." He smiled, like the brightest sun. Ah.. So she was worried for nothing.. N is just like this, how could she forget.. How is he so nice and forgiving? She would love more than nothing to meet the one who programmed him and thank them for bringing an angel into this cruel reality. If only.. If only I had him for myself first.. How lucky V and Uzi were... Ah... 'I'm so jealous..' she couldn't help but tear up a little. So this was the hidden treasure that's been hiding in plain sight next to her for years.. N didn't say anything else after that, droplets of sweat starting to appear beside his eyes while J looked at him intensely, she's been doing so for a whole 3 minutes now, while he didn't want to be rude, their current positioning was kinda.. Risque, too risky in fact. She was sprawled on top of him after all, her face barely a few inches from his while her hands were on his chest. If Uzi and V were to see them right now.. Oh my god, please forbid that from happening, there wouldn't be anything left of him from his wives combined wrath. He wanted to get J off of him and have her sleep, but it would be REALLY rude to do that after what just happened. Maybe Uzi and V won't arrive for a few hours..? Maybe? Please? N snapped out of his thoughts when J raised her chest slightly, tears freely falling from her eyes. Crap Baskets, she's crying now! What should he do?! I thought that was supposed to comfort her, not make her even sadder! "J, we-" His eyes widened as plates when he felt the familiar sensation of something smacking on his lips, he didn't even get to finish what he was gonna say when J kissed him. Don't mistake anything, he was loyal to V and Uzi, he loved them both dearly and that would never change. But this kiss was the warmest out of the three of them, it was the most pure and satisfying feeling. Before he could process things properly, she pulled away from him, she stood up and grabbed her clothes. When N finally caught himself back to reality, he saw that J had fully clothed herself, she opened the window to their apartment. But before climbing and flying out, she turned her blushing face to N. "If that's what you think of me, then fine. I'll be a better person, that's a promise." She said and flew out with a beat of her wings. "J wait!" N tried to reach out a hand to her, but she already flew off. N watched as her figure slowly disappeared in the city's bright lights. ... "You could have just told me... J, sigh." He smiled regretfully. "I'll make sure to reciprocate to your feelings J, it's the least i can do, my leader." He smiled. "I should probably check up on Luzi and the others, hopefully the kids weren't woken up by me and J being loud." "...""I should have worded that properly, now it feels weird." He scratched the back of his head, he removed his coat and rested them on the table and started cleaning the room that was full of cans of petroleum. "God, V and Uzi are gonna murder my butt if they found out about this." He said jokingly with nervousness, he should really clean these up before those two arrive or things would end up ugly for him. Even if she was a good distance away, her audio receptors were solely focused on him, allowing her to hear what he said. "Stupid.." She said while wiping out the tears that were resting on her digital eyes.  ++--------------------++What a wonderful memory.. Such a long memory that happened in mere seconds, she's.. Glad it was the last thing she thought of. Even as she teared up as the giant full of sharp teeth jaws of the Eldritch that would be her demise, so this is where the saying 'Your life flashing before you.' used by humans came from..It wasn't too.. Unpleasant to say the least, it was definitely unnerving, But she's never been so glad for it to show her a beautiful memory.From her point of view, everything was moving slowly, as if time itself slowed down for her to pick up on her last thoughts, Clawdreroff's Jaw slowly inched forward J's head.So there really was no way out of this, huh..? No one to help her.. I guess that's fair... 'Sorry, Tessa, V, Purple little shit, Quinzlet.. My nieces.. And especially you N.. Looks like this is as far this leader of yours goes... If I were to have any regrets... It's that I never got to say 'Sorry' and 'I love you' to you N..' The jaws of death finally closed, the sounds of metal and glass being pierced through like a bullet resounded through the entire mall.Followed by a shriek of pain that would send shock to those who would hear it."Ŗ̵̢̭̘̩̟̔͐̑̑̀͗̀́̽̈́̐̾̄̽̔̊̕ͅĒ̶̬̱͕͎̘͇̥̖̦͖̓Ẹ̵̙̘͔̯̜̯͈͕̹͋̾͐̀̍͛͒̾̃͋͘E̶̡̡̗͙̤̩̼͇͓͚̲̙͋̇̓́͑́̆̔͗̎̊͂̓̀͘͘͜͠E̷͖̋͝Ẻ̷̢̡̢͖̳͓̖̖̤͍̹̜̻̪͍̏̅̇́̀͆͂̚͜͝E̴̝͙̼͒̌̈́̏̍̿̐́͌̑́̈́͊͑̾̃͝Ę̷̢̤͎̥̪̣̦̳͒̈́̓̇̓̒̽̏͋̚̕͜E̶̛̙̖̩͓̗̻̰̭͚̲̲͖̓̋͂̏͑̋́̍̓͜"The bullet that flew smoothly in the air reached it's target with pin-point accuracy.In a building nearly a kilometer away, across the city, smoke trailed off from the long barrel of a weapon.resting atop a building's ledge.A long violet hair flowing smoothly from the force of the long-ranged sniper rifle, a long familiar pilot coat trailing down.The figure slowly took away her only remaining arm and leaned on a corner, heavily breathing as she tried her very best to stay awake.Her injuries were still fresh and she hasn't gotten any proper aid or repairs."I'm not letting you die without fulfilling your promise to him..." She scoffed.