King Arthur Is A Chick

"Sooo..."

Nicholas looked the alleged source of the deviation in this timeline (officially called 'Singularity') up and down before slightly tilting his head in thought and nodding to himself, "Can we just have a drink or something instead of beating each other up?"

"...Hoh?" Martha chimed in curiously, "My Master doesn't make such offers often... Actually, I've never seen him with an aversion to hitting people."

Shrugging, Nicholas continued, "I ain't never seen someone s-... What the fuck's wrong with her?" He pointed at a Mordred that was clutching her heart and breathing haggardly like some PTSD victim, "Ayo Caster, you do something?"

"Why the hell am I the one you think of when you see that?"

"...You got those rapey geezer vibes."

"Go fuck yourself. You're the one dressed like you put shit in women's drinks."

Before the two men could argue any further, the still unnamed Saber cleared her throat.

"I assume you've dispatched every one of the servants present in the city... much faster than I'd predicted... Consider me intrigued, how?"

She put both hands over a dark sword pulsing with raw magical energy, crimson lines running across it's body and raised her head just enough that she would have to look down on them... Though that was weird as fuck considering she would already have to do that seeing as they were in a cavern and she was already standing on a raised platform.

Also, how the fuck was she looking through that black visor covering half her face?

"I punched them." Nicholas answered flatly, glancing at Mordred multiple times.

The pale haired teenager narrowed his eyes at the Saber and then at his Saber and then looked between them multiple times, noting the similarities in frame before throwing a wild guess, "Oh damn, you're King Arthur aren't you?"

"Indeed, you may think of me that way."

"My Master... what the hell is up with you and guesses?" Martha asked plainly, completely unamused, "I mean it's total bullshit how you're right when you're clearly just fucking arou-... I mean, there have been far too many coincidences."

But, Nicholas ignored her fumble completely and grinned cheekily at Olga, who looked like she was dead inside, before eyeballing 'King Arthur', "And you wouldn't happen to be a chick, would you?"

"..." King Arthur paused for a moment, "In another time, you would have been a threat for possessing knowledge of that... But this is not that time... Yes, I am a woman."

"HAH!"

"It is strangely freeing to admit it openly." A smile flickered across her face for a fraction of a second before she murdered it and shot it's corpse, "I thank you, worthy foe."

Nicholas mechanically turned towards the silent Olga and held out his hands, "Give me my money."

"What money?" The Director of Chaldea chortled, "Don't you remember the bet? You bet free hot dogs for life."

Nicholas chuckled, "Worth a shot."

"Now, I believe I have humoured you enough..." The King pulled the sword from the stone and raised it over her head as magical energy swirled around the blade, "It is time I undertake the task I was given."

"Not good! She's about to deploy her noble phantasm!"

"Senpai, get behind me!" Mash covered Gudako with her shield, slamming it down with a loud clunk, "Director, you too!"

As for the rest, they were servants, each had a way of avoiding the coming attack on their own.

And Nicholas... well he was Nicholas.

Nuff said.

Martha seemed to have some sort of epiphany and just shrugged before slamming her staff into the ground and casually leaning against it, observing the coming 'battle' with interested eyes.

"Yeah no, hold up just a sec." Nicholas held up a hand.

Of course, this wasn't Chaldea and the enemy servant intent on destroying them had no intention of stopping or humouring them. A massive blade of sinister dark and crimson energy formed from her blade, extending to and opening the roof of the cavern.

"Vortigern, Hammer of the Vile King, reverse the rising Sun."

The beam expanded with a massive boom, shaking the very air around them.

"Ewww. Who says that shit anymore?"

"Swallow the light! Excalibur Morgan!!"

With a shout, the admittedly shady looking, King of the British Isles who ruled from Camelot brought down her noble phantasm down on the Chaldean party, intent on removing their very existence from the face of the planet.

A coalescence of supreme power that many heroes of legend could never hope to stand against.

A manifestation of her supreme authority as King... nay, Tyrant!

Unfortunately for her, she was just not that guy that day.

"I said..." Nicholas reeled back his fist, "Hol up a sec... Bitch."

As legend would have it, her opponent that day was... just built different.

The pale haired teenager punched down at the destructive energy coming his way, splitting it in two waves that decimated all around him but... not what was behind him.

The cavern had much of it's roof blown away instantly, giving the raw, uncontained power to pour into the already destroyed Fuyuki, decimating it's skeletal denizens.

At the same time, once it had passed, it revealed the beautiful, star-filled night sky above them.

"..." King Arthur remained expressionless but the fact that she almost stumbled backwards said enough about her mental state.

Gudako fell on her butt, jaw hanging low, "...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! He's a grunt!? What kind of organisation has grunts like these?!"

"""You get used to it.""" The rest of Chaldea (Olga, Martha, Mash) didn't share her enthusiasm.

"Hey I'm with ya lass. These people are fucking weird."

At least Cu agreed with her.

Ignoring them, Nicholas sauntered over to the shaking Mordred, "...You wanna fight her? Prove once and for all who's who?" Seeing her childlike behaviour made even him do some things that he'd never thought he would... Mordred clearly needed the encouragement.

Heck, he couldn't even tell whether she was shaking with rage or with some other form of PTSD.

In other words, he felt kinda bad.

"Y...You're really serious?"

"Yeah, I mean, that's clearly King Arthur... who's a chick by the way... And your whole deal is beating your 'father'... mother? Why not?"

"Fucking look at hi-... her." Mordred clearly found the idea of King Arthur being a chick hard to understand, "H-She... She isn't even acknowledging I'm here."

"So beat the fucking shit outta her."

"Bu-"

"You gonna bitch out? I mean, if my dad acted like I didn't exist. I'd probably punch him... But it's fine if you wanna be a pussy."

"N-No I ain't! You're right! I'll beat the fucking shit outta her and make her accept m-... hand over the throne!"

"Yeah, you go girl!"

Finally resolving herself, totally not cause of the cunt whispering in her ear, Mordred shot at 'King Arthur' with an enraged roar that resembled Berserker's.

"Have kids always been this easy to..." Nicholas remarked to himself, "Best way to solve daddy issues is beating the shit out of the daddy... I think?"

Cu Chulainn sighed and walked up to the teenager, "I ain't known you long but... never thought I'd see you walk away from a fight."

"But you see, the one thing I like more than a fight is..." Nicholas held up a finger with a small smile, pausing for dramatic effect, "A catfight."

"Gah... Shoulda known. Hahahahaha...!" The Lan- oops, Caster, guffawed without care for his surroundings.

"You keep telling yourself that, Master." Martha giggled, appearing next to him and patting his shoulder, "It's because you felt bad for her and wanted her to have some... I forget the word... Nobody judge me... But hey, I guess she'll be happy for a while."

A stream of red energy passed overhead, ripping into the cavern walls that remained.

"Psshhh, nahhhh."

Nicholas looked to the side.

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Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

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