Huh

For the longest time, Mei was always the one who had to keep up with my choices. That was something I knew clearly in my heart. 

She had been the one who always worked the most. 

Despite knowing this all, my heart- or maybe it was my pride? Whether it was the first or the latter, that thing stopped me from allowing myself to be in her place. 

The habit of treating Mei as some guardian, thinking her presence was normal, taking her for granted and never appreciating what she had been doing for my sake… 

Since when did I develop these all? 

It was only clear now. Only cleared up when I was pushing her lover away while refusing to let her front. She allowed me before, yet here I was, refusing to do the same. 

That was wrong. And the problem wasn't just that. It was the fact that I knew it was wrong, yet I was unable to stop my stupid acts.

Ugh… This realization was sickening.