CH 43: Hurt and comfort in horror

<I'm being honest, if I researched, calculated and did as much as I do for my stories for school instead, I think I would've scored a perfect score in my exams... I literally just sat and went through all kinds of websites to find out about spiders and their abilities, then had to sit and think of abilities that would make at least a little sense to get from a spider, then did all the calculations for their strength and speed. It took hours. But oh well, I'm not complaining since I actually enjoy it.

Also, this is Chaos:>

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"Woohoo! Are y'all enjoying yourselves?!" The as always drunk Tony shouted into the microphone, causing everybody in the building to cheer loudly :"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! I better see everybody having fun or we're gonna have a problem!"

And nobody seemed to want to disagree with him, because everyone broke into a loud cheer as the party went on! What party was this one? It was for Halloween! Tony had thrown a huge party, allowing anybody and everybody who was around to attend the party in the tower! Rich or poor, adult or young, ordinary or high class!

People were everywhere, in and out of the building. But not crowded to the point of it being annoying. Tony had planned it to be enjoyable, so he had gone all out. Decorating the inside of the building and the streets. Money was really useful.

With so many people present, and time of the year being Halloween, of course everybody was wearing different customs. Some wore ordinary and horror themed customs, while some wore the customs that made them look like their heroes!

There were kids and some adults who were dressed like Captain America, some dressed like Iron Man, Hawkeye, Thor, and Hulk with great difficulty. There were even a lot of young and adult women that were dressed in Natasha's old suit! Some had even tried to replicate Chaos's looks, but like Hulk... They weren't that good. But he still appreciated it!

And what were the Avengers themselves wearing? Well, the billionaire of the team had decided that to spice things up and make things interesting, all the couples and members that were in a relationship had to wear outfits that matched each other's themes!

Tony and Pepper had dressed up as rich nobles from the past. Thor and Jane had dressed up as vikings. Steve and Bruce didn't have any dates, so they went with ordinary costumes, one wearing clothes from the 1940s and another looking like a mad scientist. Clint wasn't around though. He had made up an excuse of going somewhere else, definitely so he could spend the time with his wife and children. What were our Symbiotic duo's costumes?

An angel and a devil! Natasha was in a white, clean and holy looking one piece dress that reached the middle of her thigh, with small, white wings behind her and a halo on top of her head! Just floating there thanks to Chaos turning the part that was holding it up invisible. And right next to her, was her devil! With a red, scaly body, a pair of huge horns, deadly claws, wings that were like small capes, and with an even changed face, the Symbiote was rocking the looks.

The two were basically the center of attention. Natasha for her gorgeous and holy looks, but sinful body and beauty, and Chaos for looking like an actual demon from hell.

While Natasha was chatting nonchalantly with their friends, Chaos was a little away, sitting behind a table with a drink in hand, occasionally taking sips from it with a small smile. Or at least trying to fake a smile.

As far as the eye could see, it was just people being happy. Being glad. Glad to be with their loved ones. Glad to be with the ones they care about. He hated it. Hated it. Hated it with the entirety of his heart, except that one part. That cursed part. The part that he hated. The part that was the cause of his self hate.

He despised what he was seeing. Wanted to just kill them all. It wasn't like it was their fault. Neither like he hated them. No, he didn't even know any of them. He was just angry. Angry at himself. Frustrated to the point of wanting to destroy everything in sight.

As for the reason why he was so frustrated, it was because of himself. He was frustrated with himself. He was angry at himself. He hated himself. He despised himself. Why? Because he was beginning to care. Was beginning to care about others. Again. Was beginning to let the emotion that he was disgusted by come out again.

Looking at everybody caring for another, was just making him even madder. He didn't want to care. Didn't want to do it even if it was the end of the world. He just wanted to watch things come and go while enjoying them from time to time.

But his heart, his accursed heart didn't want that. It was getting desperate. Wanted to care about others and he cared for. But he knew that it wouldn't happen. It never happened. Not ever in his previous life, not ever in this life.

He would care. He could care. In fact, his care was the purest thing he knew. Because if he cared, he would care with all of his heart. But he didn't know why, why nobody else did the same to him. Nobody in his life ever cared for him even when he loved them with all of his heart.

Didn't care when he would give them all of his untainted and pure love. Everything that he had. They would always, always just stomp all over it. Treat it like trash. Treat it like garbage. Didn't matter who either. He would love them with everything. Friends, the same kind love. Lovers, the same pure love. Family, the same caring love.

But no matter who it was, none of them cared back. None of them loved back. Be it friends, lovers or family, they would always just treat it like it was shit. No matter how much he cared for them, forgave them and loved them, they wouldn't care. They would always just walk all over his love.

And what was worse, what sickened him to the depth of his soul, was that they would act as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn't broken the pure love that he had decided to give them. With every failed attempt of wanting to find someone to give back the same care and love, he would be more and more reluctant to give his love. More unsure of giving his love. More afraid of giving his pure love.

Afraid of getting hurt again and again. His love would always stay the same pure, childlike love. Never changing no matter what. But his heart, which was holding that love, would become more and more tainted with each heartbreak delivered by the ones he wanted to care for.

He didn't want to care about anybody else. He wanted to only care about himself. What would be the good of giving his love away if the only thing other people did with it was hurting it? Breaking it. He didn't want to be hurt anymore.

Physical wounds didn't matter. They didn't even bother him thanks to his Regenerative Healing Factor. They would only hurt for a moment before healing to perfection, only leaving a stinging or itching feeling behind.

But his Regenerative Healing Factor couldn't heal his heart, his mind. He wished it could, but it couldn't. The scars and traumas that were left behind by his so called loved ones were there, never going away.

The memories of his depression, suicidal times, nearly developing several personalities, and multiple other mental issues were always there. Reminders of what would happen if he cared again. He honestly didn't know why he wished that 5th wish.

Only a few people had genuinely cared for him, namely his parents and only a friend or two. So he didn't know why he wished for the entire world to forget him. Honestly, he would rather those who hurt his pure care and love rot in hell. He was an asshole, that he would never deny. But his love was one of the purest things in the world.

So you could imagine what kinds of bastards and monsters those who actually hurt that love were. Maybe, just maybe he himself wanted to forget. Forget that world. Forget that sense of belonging. Forget the pain. Forget the betrayals. Forget everything.

He would rather take the pain of being sliced to pieces, crushed, obliterated, blown, burnt and everything else. But he didn't want to take any more damage to his mentality and love. Because he knew that all of those would heal, not even leave a scar. But the pain of betrayal would always remain.

While absentminded, and letting the pained part of his heart lead his thoughts, he was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by a hand gently grabbing his :"Hey, you okay?"

Glancing to his side, he faked a small smile as Natasha sat next to him while holding his hand on the table :'No, I'm not.' "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Natasha :"You sure? You look really distracted. Are you feeling well?"

Chaos :'No, I feel horrible.' "Yeah, I feel awesome."

Natasha :"... Sigh, alright then. So are you enjoying the party?"

Chaos :'No, I hate it.' "Yeah, it's fun. People are enjoying themselves, having fun. It's heartwarming to watch." 'I want to kill all of them.'

"... Chaos." She started, intertwining her fingers with his as she gently squeezed his hand :"What is the matter? Is something on your mind? Come on, speak to me." But he just sighed :"... Sigh, I don't know. I seriously don't know." He said, gently squeezing her hand :"I guess... I got a bit emotional for no reason again."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked gently, and he calmly shook his head :"No, forget about it. It's not like it's anything new anyway." Causing her to nod with a gentle smile :"Okay, but remember, you can always talk to me, alright? I'll always be there for you. Just like how you've always been there for me."

"Mhm." He smiled, a genuine one this time as he nodded, causing her to chuckle and fondly pinch his cheek :"Now there's my happy Chaos. Don't be sad, okay? Cause when you're sad, I become sad too. Don't wanna see you sad."

"Mhm, got it." His smile grew as he leaned into her touch, humming in comfort as she got closer and leaned onto him as well. While they just sat there, enjoying their own little bubble, chaos chuckled when he saw Tony drunkenly walking and Pepper following :"Tony's at it again."

Natasha, smiling in amusement :"And so is Pepper."

Chaos :"Just running after him so he won't cause any problems."

Natasha :"Wonder how she actually tolerates him. I get a headache just from looking at him."

Chaos :"Guess even though she complains so much, she really loves him, huh? They both love each other."

"... Love, huh?" Natasha whispered, looking up at her Chaos before a small smile formed on her lips, along with a light blush. "Hm?" Chaos hummed in confusion, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow :"You okay? Your heartbeat suddenly increased." Causing her to chuckle with a wink and the light blush still present :"Yeah, I'm okay. Hey, wanna make some good use of that dancing area Tony made? C'mon, let's go and enjoy ourselves instead of just sitting around."

"Hm, let's go." He hummed before getting up and holding a hand up for her to take with a smile :"May I have the pleasure of this dance with you, oh angel of mine?" Causing her to chuckle and playfully roll her eyes :"Dork." But still take his hand with reddened cheeks :"It would be my honor, oh devil of mine." And they walked towards the dance floor hand in hand with smiles. His bipolarism being a bitch and switching his mood like a bitch again.

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<Guys, I have some bad news. You see, I'm just about to finish highschool, and my final exams are really close. I'm talking about a-week-or-so close. So, yeah, I'm going to seriously study. So the updates may be really slow for about a month or so. Take care of yourselves, and wish me luck, soldiers 🫡>