Chapter 39

Elliot took large sips of his bourbon, feeling the warm sensation from the liquor travel through his throat and make it's way down to his stomach. His brows furrowed as he realized that the alcohol was doing nothing to better his mood.

The crowd in front of him was celebrating, but this was a celebration he did not want to be a part of. Suddenly everyone cheered, as if to rub salt on his wounds. The sound of laughter and the clinking of champagne glasses started to give him a headache. Unable to bear the suffocation in the room, he pivoted and rushed outside to the garden.

He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. His stomach twisted into knots as he came to terms with what was happening inside. The past three weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions, but today topped any pain he had ever felt before.

"I'm sorry man." A deep voice came from behind him. Khai walked over and passed him a cigar.

Austin, who was already smoking his own, sat on the grass on the other side of him. Handing him a lighter from his tuxedo jacket, he thumped Elliot on the shoulder, shaking him lightly.

Taking a long drag from the cigar, Elliot watched the full moon from behind the smoke. A bitter laugh escaped him, giving away his pain and sadness. Maeve was inside, wearing a stunning blue dress and holding her hand out for someone else to put a ring on her finger. The realization hit him like a freight train: he was in love with Maeve. For seventeen years she had been by his side, and yet it took losing her to someone else for him to finally understand his own feelings. He felt foolish and blinded by his own stubbornness. The weight of his regret made his shoulders sag.

Khai and Austin sat with him for a long time that night. Silently watching the moon as they let him grieve what could have been.

*****

The sky turned dark as Khai's SUV pulled in through the gates of Arcane. After saying goodbye to Maeve and Elliot, Ana walked back to her room with her hand in his. He carried the heavy shopping bags in his other hand as if they weighed nothing.

He walked slowly, so she wouldn't have to rush to keep up with him. "So what's my costume?" He wondered what was in the bags, because they were definitely too heavy for her to carry.

"Do you own a suit?" She asked him with a mischievous smile.

Khai cocked his eyebrow at her. "A suit? I'm going to be an accountant?"

Ana giggled at his question, shaking her head lightly. "No! But I have the perfect outfit for you, you'll see."

"Okay. I trust you." His said with a small smile. They reached the stairs at the entrance to the women's dormitories. "Why don't you go take a shower? I'll get changed and grab some dinner for us. I'll see you in your room, I got the bags, don't worry."

Ana nodded and made her way up to her room. She closed the door behind her and quickly stepped out of her heels. Her feet were sore and red from walking all day and her kitten heels clearly didn't go well with the cobblestone on the streets of Monserrat.

She unzipped her dress and got into the shower, enjoying the hot water on her skin. Knowing how fast Khai was, she rushed herself out of the bathtub, walked over to her closet and slipped into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Grabbing her bag, she pulled out the small box that George gave her and quickly hid it between her clothes. She planned to gift the box to Khai on their getaway the next weekend. Excitement and nerves mixed within her as she imagined where her life had come to.

A soft knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. Khai walked in holding bags in both his hands. He went to her closet to place the shopping bags in there while she started to unpack the food.

"I love sushi!" She exclaimed as she saw what he bought for them.

He kissed her cheek and hugged her from behind. "I thought you'd want something light after having a late lunch."

Ana nodded in agreement and opened her laptop to play a light comedy as they finished their dinner.

After cleaning up, Khai climbed back on bed and sat her between his legs as usual. For a long time, he played with her hair as she sat with him silently. His steady heart beats soothed her, helping her unwind after the long day that she had.

"Did you have fun today?" He placed a kiss on her temple and snaked his arm around her waist.

"The town was so beautiful and I had a great time with Meghan and Maeve. I am a little exhausted though, it was a tiring day."

"Hmmm. Let me help you relax." His voice grew softer as his hands moved up to her shoulders.

He gently massaged the knots under her soft skin. His hands slowly moved down from her nape to the long line of her spine, kneading it with mild pressure and sending shivers down her back. Ana's breath hitched as she felt his lips press on the skin under her ear. He continued to massage her as he sucked on her skin, exactly where her neck met her shoulder. A moan escaped her as he gently bit that sensitive spot. His fingers drew small circles on her waist stirring a strange feeling between her legs. She threw her head back, sinking deeper into him.

She was lost in the pleasure of his touch when she suddenly felt his hands move under her t-shirt to touch her waist. She gasped reflexively and her whole body stiffened. Her hand moved to stop his before she could process what was happening.

Khai froze as he felt her resist. A sudden fear took over him as he wondered if he had pushed her too far.

She tilted her head to him, trying to say something to explain why she did that. But her mind seemed to have turned numb.

"Khai…no..I…" Ana's voice faltered as she realized why she stopped him. Her heart raced when his fingers touched her waist, but this time it was fear that replaced thrill. She was scared he would see her scar and dreaded the judgement in his eyes that would follow. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt his hand pull away in a jerk. She hid her face in her hand, unable to even look at him.

Khai watched it all in her eyes, his face turning as white as a sheet. He could not believe that he had misread her readiness. He was so carried away by her intoxicating presence that he forgot to take things slow. His eagerness had clouded his judgement, making him forget that Ana had only known him for three weeks. He felt a knot form in his stomach as he realized the gravity of his mistake

His hands trembled as he pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry Ana. I should not have done that. I'm sorry baby." He muttered, praying that she would forgive him.

Ana, who was huddled deep in her misery, blinked vacantly into her hands at his sudden apology. Wasn't she the one who was supposed to apologize? Shame started to creep in, as the fear wore off. She was denying him from touching her despite knowing how much he cherished her. Her insecurities had come to confine her so much that she was pushing away the only man that ever gave her hope. She choked back her tears as she came to understand how broken she truly was.

She turned around and buried her face in his chest. "No Khai. I'm sorry. You deserve so much better than me. I'm sorry that I'm like this."

Khai's shoulders tensed, alarmed at the pain in her words. He had expected rejection and anger, but the remorse in her voice made him suddenly panic. He gently pushed her chin up and the sight of her wet cheeks tore at his heart. At a loss of words, he wiped the tears from her face and pulled her into a kiss.

She readily kissed him back, but this time her kiss felt different from ever before. Her frail arms pulled his body tightly to hers, as if she was scared he would let go. He could sense her need as she pushed deeper into the kiss. He held her close, worried at the direction of her thoughts.

When he pulled away to let her breathe, he was shocked at the fear in her eyes. "Shhh, I'm right here Ana. I'm right here baby. I'm not going anywhere." He rocked her gently as she sobbed in his arms for a long time before slowly drifting off to sleep.