Thirty Three: Namjoon

I haven't heard anything from Sam, not since weeks ago. Abby gave me a message from her and informed me that due to a change of events, won't be coming back for at least a couple of months. She didn't say much about anything else or when she'll be returning home either. It's already August and still she haven't returned. What's going on? What's taking so long? I hope that everything is fine. I miss her terribly. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn that Abby's been hiding something from me, but surely Jin-hyung would have informed me if there were indeed something. I guess I might be overthinking it completely. If something were wrong either of them would have told me. It's Monday the 3rd of August. After work I made a quick trip to the shop. When I returned home, everyone were doing their own thing. Jin-hyung and Abby were in a cuddling position on the sofa, cooing about something on her phone. I greeted the hyungs and sank down into the softness of the lounge. "Have you heard anything back from Sam?" I asked but nobody answered. I could just as well have been talking to the walls. What was so important on that phone of hers that she can't even answer my question. I picked myself up and out of my sitting position, and made my way over towards them. Took the phone from Abby's hands and looked down at the scene. A sonar picture parade in all its glory. According to the date in the upper left corner, it's been taken earlier today. "Congrats Hyung," I said as I gave Jin-hyung a pat on the shoulder. Abbs turned beet red. "We're not... She's not... It's not..." Jin-hyung is so flustered, that he can't even talk in full sentences. "Sorry, I just assumed. So whose the lucky family?" I asked. Everybody looked up when they heard my question. "Abby's sister," Jin-hyung answered after a while. "Congratulations Abby, send my blessings to your sister," I said as I handed her phone back to her. I left the comfort of the living room behind and went to my room. I just want to be alone.

If only I could scratch all of my courage together and pick up the phone, I'd be able to call her. For some bizarre reason I lack that trade. I need to see her or at least talk to her. I really do miss her. I miss everything about her. Her hair; like changing seasons. Browns and orange and yellows, tumbling towards the ground. Her eyes; thousands of greenlight fireflies are bottled up behind them. Glowing mysteriously in the closed up spaces in my mind. Her skin; soft like silk. As fair as porcelain. Smooth against my touch. Her smile; the galaxy have somehow painted itself on her complexion. Bright and absolutely breathtaking. I miss her charm. Her personality. Her warmth. When I open my eyes at morn's first gleam, she's within the corners of my mind. When I close my eyes at night, she's the last thought before dreamland pulls me under. I wish that I could hold her and that she wouldn't just be a far away memory that's pestering through my mind space. Constantly reminding me of what we had.