Chapter 33

NICHOLAS

"Fabiano called for a meeting. You have to be there," Matteo insisted, closing the door to my office behind him. "It's urgent."

"I'd be lying if I said I give a fuck. They can shove their meeting up their asses."

"You look like shit." He picked up the empty whiskey bottle. "Did you drink this all by yourself?"

"No. It spilled when I went to use the bathroom."

"So, why aren't you home? You've been here for days, and you've turned down three meetings with Fabiano."

I rolled my eyes. "What could he possibly want to talk about? How close he is to his grave?"

I wasn't in the right state of mind to sit at a table with a bunch of men who'd be happy to put a bullet in each other's heads - most especially, mine. More than a few people were sore after they found out I killed my father, and that wasn't changing any time soon. My uncles were a testament to that.

Matteo snorted. "He isn't and you know it. You're just being a bitch for no reason. What's up with you and Giselle?"

"She's still at the house, isn't she?"

He nodded. "Andrea visited her a few days ago."

"Why?" Did she go there to tell Giselle all that her parents hid from her?

"I don't know. Adnan reported it to me when you wouldn't pick up your fucking phone." He said the last part with a glare.

I shrugged. "It's dead."

"You haven't answered my question, Niko."

"Which one? Why I ignored Fabiano?"

"The other one. What's up with you and Giselle? You fucked her the other day, didn't you?"

"I'm not talking about who I stick my dick into with you, Matteo," I groaned, throwing my head back against my chair.

"I don't want to either, smart ass."

I closed my eyes, basking in the silence that had fallen over us until Matteo had to open his big mouth again and speak.

"You were happy. Back in the kitchen," he clarified when I arched a brow at him. "You looked happy. You haven't been like that in a while. I don't think I've seen you smile since you returned."

I shook my head. "I wasn't happy. I was amused. Two different things. And yeah, I find her actions very amusing."

"She thinks you're still in love with Gianna."

I finally opened my eyes. "What? Been having heart-to-hearts with my wife?"

"No. The signs are obvious. She knows you were at Gianna's gravesite the other day, and she thinks you regret what you two did."

She was dead wrong. Truth was, I was fucking disgusted with myself, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her after everything I did to her.

"I wasn't there because I missed Gianna or because I regret what we did. That's far from the truth. I was at Gianna's gravesite because I was fucking pissed."

"You were pissed at the love of your life? Color me surprised," Matteo drawled, sarcasm dripping off his every word.

"Gianna isn't the love of my life."

After everything I just learned, I realized I might not have known her at all.

Matteo frowned, lowering himself on a chair. "Okay, tell me what the fuck is going on."

What's going on is Giselle is innocent, and I've been an idiot for seven years, I thought.

What the fuck did I even expect? 

Gregorio was the scum of the earth, but I'd given him the benefit of the doubt because the situation was related to the death of his first daughter. I didn't expect him to be that fucked up and play with such a touchy subject.

Who the fuck lies about the death of their daughter and blames it on another daughter? 

That was a level of low I never expected him to attain, but who was I kidding? The testa di cazzo saw women as commodities - his daughters included.

Him getting Giselle married to me should have been sign enough. He knew how much I loathed her, and how much I wanted her to pay, and he still gave her to me with a smile on his face.

"Nicholas?" Matteo called out, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"It's nothing, Matteo. It won't affect the Family. Business moves as usual." I rose to my feet, letting him know he was getting nothing out of me.

Matteo shot to his feet, his nostrils flared in anger. "Must you be a fucking dick all the fucking time?" 

"Learn your fucking place, Matteo," I growled.

"No. Fuck you, Nicholas. I'm not talking to the Capo of this family. I am talking to my cousin, and right now, he's being a fucking dick."

"I'll have you remember Family comes before all else, and as your boss, I'm asking you to get the fuck out."

"No. You've pushed us away for long enough. You don't show up at family dinners, you ignore invites to functions. What the fuck is your problem? Sure, you killed your father. Our uncles were sore about it, but they've gotten over it now. You're the only one who's still clinging to the past. Let. Go."

"Let go?" I laughed, but I sure as fuck didn't find the situation funny. "I'm supposed to sit at a table and smile at the people who watched my father kill my mother? Where the fuck was your father when cancer slowly ate at my mother? He sure as fuck wasn't all up in her business the same way he's trying to be in my business. And your mother? Where was all that familial love? Why didn't she take her to the hospital? Why didn't she see to her well-being? My mother was underfed, and she wasn't allowed to go to the doctor. No one invited her to family dinners."

Matteo remained silent, sympathy filling his eyes. This was exactly what I hated. Sympathy. I didn't want anyone to pity me. I wasn't helpless. I took matters into my hand by ending my father's life. Like Giselle said, he was where he belonged - hell.

"No one cared about her, but suddenly Niko is back, and everyone wants to play nice after he killed his father. Don't stand there and teach me about family. Where was this same family when Father tortured Mother because I spent time with her?" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down before all the anger and pain from the past drowned me.

I was twelve all over again, forced to take extra lessons after school even though I aced my classes. Father hired a tutor that kept me busy until it was time for dinner, just so I didn't spend time with my mother. According to him, she was making his heir "too soft".

I leaned forward with my hands propped on my desk, trying to get myself back into the present. When I succeeded, I raised my head to address Matteo, but he was gone. In his place was Giselle.

Great. Now she was coming to haunt me, even when she wasn't here. I dropped into my chair, closing my eyes to get some much-needed rest, when I heard her voice.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

"Go away. You aren't real," I muttered, placing my forearm over my eyes.

"If you say so." It wasn't long before I felt her hand on my shoulder. Her touch felt a fuckuva lot real.

"Stop fucking with my head. I'm going through enough shit as it is. I don't need you haunting me when I try to sleep."

"Clearly, you need some sleep. Come on." She tugged on my hand, pulling me out of my chair. "You're talking gibberish," she added as she led me to the seating area of my office. "I came here to make you an offer, but it seems I came at the wrong time." She pushed me onto the longest couch. "Take off your shirt and shoes, and lie down."

At this point, I wasn't sure if any of this was real, or if it was my mind fucking with me, but I didn't care. I did as she asked.

***

GISELLE

"You aren't leaving?" Nicholas asked when I stayed put.

I shook my head. "Matteo was my ride, and he has left, so yeah, I'm stuck here until tomorrow morning. Someone has to keep an eye on you, anyway. You've been out of it for some days now." I sat down on the coffee table, studying his features. He had bags underneath his eyes like he hadn't slept in days.

Originally, I planned to wait for him to return to the house so I could discuss Andrea's issue with him, but when there were no signs of him returning, I asked Matteo about his whereabouts, and Matteo brought me to his nightclub, and he asked me to wait outside first so he could talk to Nicholas alone.

I tried not to eavesdrop, but when I heard raised voices, I couldn't help myself. 

"I'm sorry about your mother." The raw pain in his voice when he talked about her made my heart ache for him. He had a great relationship with her, and the events that led to her death were painful. "I understand that is still a sore topic for you, so I won't push you to talk about it."

"She called me a week before she died," he started, surprising me. I didn't expect him to be open to talking about it so soon. "I was surprised because Father didn't allow her access to a phone. We talked for hours, and she never mentioned what she was going through. I knew things at home weren't good, but I didn't expect it to become worse. She died years before I returned home. Father didn't even let me know, so I could be home for her funeral. No one gave a shit then, but when I killed the bastard responsible for it all, everyone wants to be a moral police. Fucking pieces of shit," he spat, his voice filled with venom. 

"That's why you don't attend family functions. You resent them for not helping your mother." It all made sense now. I'd probably feel the same if I were in his shoes. "They think it's because you killed your father." I thought the same, too. "I had no idea this was why your relationship with them is strained."

"They're still riding Father's dick even though he's six feet below. It's fucking pathetic. Wanna know the fucked up thing? She wouldn't approve of this."

"Your mother?"

He nodded. "She was an angel. She would've been pissed, and she'd have sworn to never talk to me. Knowing her, she wouldn't have been able to last a day." 

My heart broke for him. He looked like he was blinking back tears.

"She loves you dearly. I'm sure she'd do the same if it came to keeping you safe."

"Sometimes, I wonder if she couldn't have waited a little longer. I'd have saved her when I got back, but then I remember she was fighting cancer, and then I feel like fucking scum of the earth because I know I'm being selfish." He was quiet for a long minute before he spoke again. "Did I ever tell you why I loathed you so much? Why I wanted you to suffer?"

I froze, unsure how I was supposed to answer his question, but I didn't have to worry for long. He continued speaking.

"I wasn't going to do anything to you. I was angry when I heard the news, but I threw all my anger into the gym. Father had people gunning for his head at that time, and he feared they were going to get to his heir. The first news I was hit with when I got back home was my mother's death, and the man responsible for it didn't even give two shits about it. My anger grew. First, I lost Gianna, and then I lost my mother. That was the last straw for me. The only two people that cared about me were gone, and I knew I had to get revenge. I killed my father, and I waited."

"For me."

"For you," he confirmed, even though he didn't need to. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Believing your father. Getting married to you. Gregorio lied."

I wasn't breathing. "Did you find out the truth?" I asked. How did he figure out Father was lying after believing him for years?

All I got as a response was a light snore. He'd fallen asleep mid-conversation.

"Goodnight," I whispered, even though he couldn't hear me.