"My body was in a 'turned-on' state all the time and I had no way to resist it.
But I held on.
Even though my body turned into a literal mess, I still held on.
My brain was in a constant state of resistance, the people around me had become my biggest nightmare, I couldn't even look at my own mother since the moment I did, extreme thoughts would flood my mind and I would crave touch again.
However,
I still held on.
And finally, my body got used to it.
Resisting my urge to lose control and seek pleasure became a 'common sense' inside my brain, it turned into passive thinking, even my body, being in a constant state of excitedness and extreme sensitivity, it became common for it. It was as if it was my 'Physique'.
I had already hit the bottom where even breathing was difficult for me, it couldn't get any worse, therefore, it started getting better.
As I continued to resist it, I felt my body changing.