Chapter 31: Headcases

(Note: This one is for all the dudes who kept telling me to update.)

Her boy was exceptional.

It was a fact one Minerva McGonagall came to understand a long time ago. Ever since that fateful day, through her visit of the supposed muggleborn named Magnus Arran.

The boy was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, a mind-wreaking amalgam of paradoxes, shades and contrasts compressed in juvenile complexity.

An anomaly, some would say. She reminisced of their earliest encounters, when he was but a clever boy and she a future educator. That impression quickly faded.

Upon encountering him, an observant witch would likely notice that the boy exerted a level of self control beyond anything his elders could conjure. Then again, most adult wizards are no examples of discipline.

Every smile, word or action. Every expression, question and quip was a carefully considered, wisely elected, thoroughly planned development. It would have been worrying, if she didn't know that each person exerted a form of manipulation to serve their own interests or shield themselves from harm's way.

Everything from passive-aggression, threats, flattery, humor and even violence could be considered forms of manipulation. Some were more pleasant than others, some more morally acceptable and useful.

A 'muggleborn' orphan was within his rights to make use of such 'weapons' to protect himself, since no else would step up for him. Being alarmed would be counter-productive, bringing it up so soon would be even more problematic.

Triggering an independent child's defense mechanisms could only end up badly.

Which is why she refrains from commenting on Snape's greasy hairs and most unpleasant behavior.

It was wiser to show she meant no harm, which was true. Prove herself as a reliable, nurturing figure and slowly win the boy over. She did just that, and her efforts were fruitful. However, she did not account for an important aspect of her plan, an unexpected consequence she enjoyed immensely.

As the boy started trusting her, she too became fond of him.

Ultimately, 'the' boy evolved into 'her' boy.

With that change in relation, came a change in behavior. The gifted child started shedding more and more of his masks, more and more of his skills. Minerva started to understand the nuances and shades of his behavior, the extent of his defense and driving forces behind his seemingly juggernaut-like push for advancement.

She knew his faces, which he wore nicely and changed so inconspicuously none but her have noticed, or cared enough to notice.

The level-headed, aloof, textbook Ravenclaw he displayed for the world to see. The teasing and humorous but dependable and protective friend. The wondrous, innovative talent in which he took great pride. The paranoid, cold-hearted and fiercely independent orphan. The vulnerable and affectionate child, carefully hidden between dozens of plans, hundreds of contingencies, powerful magics and impeccable manners.

Too many faces for a child.

This highly functional, adorable mess of a young wizard was all of that. An unpredictable, ever enjoyable force everyone noticed, admired or loathed. Yet for all the opinions he inspired, those who know him were scarcely affected and thus prone to ignoring him.

Then again, they did not know him. Not like she did.

But even then, he still found ways to amaze, shock and trouble her.

Great success in obscure forms of magic, informations on mysteries a student should have no business revealing, almost overnight transition from dirt poor orphan into legally emancipated more or less legally wealthy businessman.

Unexpected Heirship to one of the most infamous and powerful houses in Britain. Blood relation to one of the most despised murderers in the isles. Proof of the innocence of the later, whose unlawful incarceration would soon end thanks to yet another plan her surrogate son devised.

Plan which likely have him laughing heartily, knowing her part in it.

The Deputy Headmistress wandered across Ottery St Catchpole, pursed lips and stoic countenance effectively repelling anyone with a sliver of self-preservation, or it would if she didn't cast a powerful disillusionment beforehand.

Soon enough, she approached her goal. Apparition and invisibility didn't work well, and almost always resulted in a splinch; which would make the ordeal even more embarrassing.

She cast some discreet feeler spells; trying to determine the presence of detection ward or another magical barrier but was surprised to find none but a clumsily made protective ward. A simple generic barrier a which detected offensive curses, and repelled them to an extent; a standard ward formed by a novice curse breaker and poorly maintained by the inhabitants who have likely been casting more than one offensive charm.

She would blame the residents pranksters, if she didn't know of Molly's infamous stinging curses and her daughter's preferred bat-bogey hex.

Yes, Minerva McGonagall was currently sneaking in the Burrow, home of the Weasleys.

"MOM!" she recognized the voice of Ginevra, her rather unfortunate new lion. "RON'S LEFT SCABBERS IN MY ROOM AGAIN, HE CHEWED ALL MY MAGAZINES!"

"I DIDN'T!" her gluttonous older brother, another of Minerva's lions shouted in equally horrid volume. "HE ESCAPED ON HIS OWN, BUT GINNY THREW HIM OUT THE WINDOW!"

"DID TOO!" That was something she could work with.

Approaching a bit more, she saw the form of a disgusting, fat rat with a missing finger. How didn't she notice? An elven years old rat of all things. Her face contorted in rage as she repressed the urge to blast him on the spot, an homenum revelio proving that he was truly an animagus.

"DIDN'T!" She cast a silent stunner on the unsuspecting rat, three times.

"DID TOO!" A levitation charm saw him put on the enchanted metal cage she conjured beforehand.

"DIDN'T" She made to leave to feeble wards, to disparate back into Grimmauld and fulfill her next part of the plan.

"DID TOO!" The shouts covered the almost unnoticeable crack she made, the extra burden making silent apparition impractical.

"DIDN'T"

Minerva wasn't one to judge, but she truly pitied the unlucky fellows who will marry into the Weasley family.

"SHUT UP!"

+E-S+

Andromeda Tonks loved her nephew.

He was cute, intelligent, polite, not a crazy pureblood supremacist, talented, funny, not a crazy pureblood supremacist, caring, refreshing and a myriad of other things which made his cheeks ripe for pinching and his hair wonderfully ruffleable.

Did she mention that he wasn't a crazy pureblood supremacist?

Sure, he might know things he should have absolutely no business knowing. He thinks in ways a child shouldn't be able to. He has the same knack for overly convoluted plans and a stupid amount of contingencies as she did, and therefor knew the dangers of. He's also self-admittedly generally apathetic to most of the population, and his morals ends with his honor and the safety of his own. All of this would make a him a great risk, and an even greater headcase mind healers would fight tooth and nail to study.

Then again, he was a Black.

Being a headcase was normal for their family, being a functional headcase is already great. A non-bigoted functional headcase? She thought she was the only one, ever since her cousin Sirius…

Until her wonderful little nephew threw the metaphorical bomb, as her husband would say, and revealed his father's innocence with concrete proofs in yet another display of wizarding stupidity and hopelessness.

What followed was a single day in which they managed to get hold of the real culprit, the filthy rat her cousin supposedly killed, prepare the necessary paperwork to request another investigation and arrange a meeting with Amelia Bones of all people while her young nephew managed to steal the thunder of the affair in the single most ridiculously simple way possible.

The day ended with four very tired, famished wizards and witches slouching in the Tonks family living room eating copious amounts of ice cream while watching a movie.

"How does it feel to steal someone's pet?" Magnus quipped at Minerva, who wasn't nearly as amused as me or Ted. "Ron must be devastated, losing his partner like that."

"I didn't steal a pet!" The transfiguration teacher stated with defiance "I abducted a dangerous criminal who was hiding as a pet, there's a difference."

"Semantics." The boy shrugged, more concerned about his chocolate ice cream. "Then again, Pettigrew was someone's pet."

"I'm not too concerned about depriving the Dark Lord of his furry little partner, Magnus." She raised an eyebrow at him, the McGonagall tell of mild amusement.

"furry little partner, huh." Magnus chuckled "I'll be using that one, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself." the middle aged witch shrugged "Now hush, the movie's about to start."

They soon discovered that showing a witch Star Wars was way more entertaining than the movie itself, though mistaking Chewbacca for a Sasquatch could be considered a criminal offense punishable by death in some circles.

"Do muggles really have access to this kind of weaponry?" A pale looking Minerva asked.

"Not quite." Ted answered "It's science fiction; a free interpretation of the future within a ficitonal setting. Non-magicals don't have access to Death Stars, blaster guns or lasers."

"Well, there are lasers." Magnus interjected, quickly adding "But they are in no way efficient enough to be used as weapons."

"They don't need it, however." Her dear husband continued. "Muggle already have automatic guns capable of shooting more than five hundred rounds per minute, grenades as potent as a bombarda, tanks as durable as a troll with ten times the attack potency."

"Not to mention the advantage of air support." The sharp eyed wizard added to his teacher's worries "Aircrafts faster than the speed of sound, armed to the teeth with bombs, guided missiles and rifles."

"Surely, you're exaggerating." She tried to deny it, which was a very unwise thing to do in front of her paranoid student and the gun-nut who goes by the strapping name of Ted Tonks.

""Nope."" They answered at the same time.

Andromeda shook her head when she saw her friend look a her for a semblance of support. 'just wait until they finish.' She said through her eyes.

'They're kidding, right?' Her friend asked nonverbally, to which the potion mistress could only smile 'right?'

"And that's without talking about the snipers, who can take a target out from an insanely long distance." Ted added, oblivious to the Witch's distress.

"Or the navy; giant destroyers and nuclear submarines." The younger wizard followed up, finding a kindred spirit in the older man.

"Talking about nuclear." Ted said, at the mention of the real n-word "Do you know about Chernobyl."

Before they could further demoralize the exhausted witch, who was currently suffering from the side effects of the wizarding world's isolationist policy, they were interrupted by the sounds of their doors opening. Magnus and Minerva grabbed their wand right away, prepared to cast a shield and a volley of colorful yet unpleasant spells at the intruder.

Ted and Andromeda, however only smiled wryly while they reassured the duo. Being linked to the wards in their household didn't offer them the same level of control they had, neither Magnus nor his teacher could actually identify the new-comer or know that she was included in the keystone herself.

"Mom, Dad!" Shouted a tired looking, pink haired young woman in battered battle robes; a variation of the garb Aurors in training wore. Seeing two guests, holding buckets of ice cream in one hand and a wand in the other with Star Wars playing in the background. "Who... What are you doing?"

"Watching a movie with the guests"

"Telling her about nukes."

"...Having a headache."

"No one in particular."

"..."

"Magnus!"

They chuckled at his antics, while Minerva ,who was equally amused, berated him over his lapse in decorum.

Yes, Andromeda loved her nephew.

'Even if we're both headcases' her eyes glinted dangerously, thinking of the filthy rat Kreacher was currently 'playing' with. He was told not to kill or damage him too much, but then again, it was Kreacher…

That elf had the strangest tastes.

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Hey guys! It's Uncle Sheo!

Yup, a double chapter as promised.

Next one will not be a chap, but an announcement/Poll/questionnaire. I would be grateful if you took the time to answer it, would likely results in better, longer chapters and faster updates.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Peace and Cheese!