Chapter 1 - Medical Assistance

Chapter 1 - Medical Assistance
Naruto squirmed on the exam-room table, trying to find a comfortable position. He would've opted to stand, but Shizune had asked him to take a seat while she fetched Tsunade, and he didn't want to give her any hint to the reason for his visit by refusing. So now he gingerly shifted from cheek to cheek, trying to come up with a convincing explanation for his current state.

The clicking of heeled shoes announced the impending arrival of the Fifth Hokage, and Naruto forcefully stopped his fidgeting and sat still, his hands gripping the edge of the table.

The door swung open and Tsunade swept into the room with a scowl on her face, forcing Naruto to silently reaffirm his long-held observation that she looked particularly stunning when she was angry. She was wearing a lab coat thrown over her usual low-cut top, undone so as to display an impressive amount of cleavage. He quickly shifted his eyes up to her face, because he really didn't need to give her another reason to be pissed at him.

The slug princess strode over and leaned in close. Respect for personal space was usually the first thing to go when she was irritated. "Alright brat, what's this emergency you made Shizune drag me over from my office for? You didn't knock some girl up, did you?"

"Wh-what? No! Of course I didn't! Damn it Granny, this is hard enough without you making fun of me!"

Tsunade's brow furrowed. "What's wrong with you then? You don't look sick. The Kyuubi isn't causing you any problems is it? You said that the absorption of his Yin-chakra didn't do anything to destabilize your seal." Naruto grimaced at the reminder. In the months after the conclusion of the war with Madara, Tsunade had dragged him to the hospital multiple times a week to run every uncomfortable and invasive medical exam she could think of, and some she'd developed just to use on him. They'd all turned up clean, but that hadn't stopped her from worrying.

"I've told you he prefers being called Kurama, and there's nothing wrong with my seal. I just... it's hard to talk about."

Tsunade crossed her arms and looked at him skeptically. After a couple seconds of letting the silence hang, she responded. "Well, joking aside, you know as your personal physician I'm sworn to confidentiality unless it affects your work or village security, and considering I'm both your boss and the hokage, even if it does involve those things I can probably keep quiet about it." A pause. "Are you having trouble getting it up? Plenty of young men suffer from erectile difficulties at times, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Would you stop jumping to conclusions, it isn't that either! I'll tell you, just give me a second." Naruto took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts.

"Alright," he began, keeping his eyes locked on an anatomy chart hanging behind Tsunade. He'd never be able to say this convincingly while looking her in the eye. "So I was getting ready to make myself dinner tonight, and just when I had finished washing the vegetables for my salad, a bird flew into my apartment! Crazy right? It was panicking, so I tried to catch it so I could set it outside, but I tripped and fell kinda funny."

Tsunade stared at him, her expression flat. "Naruto, if you seriously dragged me all the way over here after working hours to take a look at a bruised tailbone, I am going to break your jaw."

"No! I mean, when I fell, I landed on the table kinda funny and one of the vegetables I was preparing sort of…" at this he trailed off, blushing and staring at the floor.

"What happened to the vegetable, Naruto?" In a voice that sounded forcefully composed, Tsunade urged him to continue.

"Well, I landed right on top of it, and it kinda slid, uh, up."

Tsunade stared at him blankly for several seconds before rearing back in surprise, eyes wide and mouth open. She quickly composed herself though, and within seconds her expression settled into a knowing smile.

"Ahhh, I see," she said as she straightened, a distinctly satisfied lilt now in her voice. "So, to be clear, you're saying that when you fell, an unfortunately positioned vegetable wound up inside of your ass."

He was too embarrassed for words at this point, so he just nodded in confirmation while continuing to stare at the ground.

"And I suppose you're here because you've been unable to get it out by yourself?"

"Yeah, it's, er, in there pretty tightly."

She snorted in amusement. "I don't doubt it. Well, there's only one thing to do. Clothes off, Naruto."

"What?! Aw, come on Granny, can't you just use some crazy medical technique to make it disappear or dissolve it or something?" He knew he was whining, but he'd only worked up the courage to come to the hospital on the assumption that Tsunade would be able to solve his problem without the need to expose himself.

"I'm afraid I've never heard of a technique tailored to dealing with vegetable-plugged anal cavities, so we're just going to have to do this the old-fashioned way."

After a minute of muttered complaints and expletives, Naruto was down to his frog-patterned boxers, the rest of his clothes lying discarded around him.

"Cute," said Tsunade, "but you're going to have to lose them too. The part I need to inspect is directly under them, idiot."

Naruto made a few rebellious noises, but complied nonetheless, turning away from his observer in a vain effort to preserve some of his modesty. He nearly fell over when he heard what was clearly a wolf-whistle from behind him.

Blushing furiously, he spun back around, his hands clasped in front of his junk. Knowing that commenting on it would just egg her on, he settled for defiantly glaring at a straight-faced Tsunade. He was a future hokage of Konoha, damn it, he could handle a stupid rectal exam! Thankfully, she seemed to be buying his story for now, or at least wasn't questioning it. Now if he could just get through the next fifteen minutes, he could go home and try to forget this ever happened.

'Please, we both that the first thing you'll do when you get home is masturbate furiously to the memory of having your ass examined by the big-breasted blonde,' spoke a voice at the back of his mind.

'Shut up Kurama, I don't need your commentary right now," Naruto thought back.

'Oh, no need to be embarrassed about your little deviancies. I've already told you that all of your species' sexual urges are equally amusing to me.'

Naruto's no doubt witty comeback was interrupted by the aforementioned big-breasted blonde. "Naruto, can you get up on the exam table by yourself, or do you need me to help you?" she asked in a teasingly playful tone.

'She's certainly in a better mood than when she arrived,' he thought as he scrambled onto the exam table before the hokage decided to lend a hand. 'Probably finds the situation too funny to stay angry.'

Once atop the table again, he paused, unsure of how to position himself. Tsunade obviously needed access to his rear end, but it would be too embarrassing to strike that sort of pose of his own initiative.

"Lay down on your knees, facing away from me," said Tsunade, picking up on his uncertainty.
He did as he was told, leaning on his forearms and kneeling so that his backside was the highest part of his body. With his bare ass in the air, Naruto felt incredibly exposed and aware of the hokage's gaze on him. He forcefully ignored the other things he was feeling, and the thought that his stance resembled nothing so much as a female dog presenting herself to a potential mate.

"You're going to have to spread your legs so I can see what I'm dealing with here." Was it just him, or did Tsunade's voice sound kinda strained?

Wanting to get through this ordeal as quickly as possible before he embarrassed himself further, Naruto didn't bother protesting and obediently shifted so that his knees were shoulder-width apart. He nearly jumped off the table when two soft hands made contact with his backside, gripping each cheek firmly.

"Easy there, I just need to get a good look at the, ah, affected area. Be a good boy and hold still."

He could feel his cheeks being pushed apart, and fought the urge to clench. The easier he made Tsunade's job, the quicker she would be finished, and the lower the chance of him popping a hard-on in front of her. She continued to deftly manipulate his cheek muscles, forcefully lifting and separating them before allowing them to move back into place. Did she really need to squeeze them so hard? He was starting to feel like he was being tenderized.

"Hmm, well it looks like you're able to close up well enough, and there's no bleeding or uneven swelling, so it's unlikely your sphincter's been damaged," came Tsunade's voice from mortifyingly close behind him. He swore he could feel her breath tickling the crack of his ass. "Of course, I'll have to check manually to be sure. Try to relax, Naruto, I promise this won't hurt."

Pain really wasn't what Naruto was concerned about right now. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind like he would when entering Sage Mode. The knowledge that a beautiful woman was about to be rooting around his back door was proving to be a difficult thought to let go of, but he slowly felt his personal concerns receding as he became suffused in a greater awareness of the world around him. Then the feeling a lubricated finger slipping up his asshole shattered his inner peace, and Naruto failed to completely stifle the moan that wanted to slip out of him.

"Don't be such a baby," chided Tsunade from over his shoulder. "Every man needs to get a prostate exam sooner or later. You've just gotten a head-start on things."

"Lucky me," said Naruto with false cheer, still trying to distract himself from the frankly amazing sensation of one of the world's most beautiful women methodically lubing up his asshole.

"That's that spirit. Now bear down a little." Tsunade's probing finger momentarily withdrew, before smoothly sliding back in with a second one beside it. Two fingers were considerably smaller than some of the other things that had been up Naruto's butt, but it was enough to provide him with just a touch of that delicious stretching sensation he was secretly addicted to. He grit his teeth and willed his dick not to get any harder. He couldn't see it, but he had to already be at half-mast.

"You know, you've got remarkably little hair back here. Do you shave?"

If he could see her at the moment, he would have stared incredulously. Still, he was desperate for the distraction talking would provide, so he answered her.

"No, I've just never really grown it there. Is that weird?"

"It's a little unusual, but I'd hardly call it weird. Some people might even be jealous. The hairless look seems to be quite popular these days." Tsunade talked in casual manner, seemingly unpreterbed that she was currently feeling around Naruto's insides.

'How would she have any idea of what style of ass trimming is popular? I guess she does these kinds of exams fairly regularly. I wonder who...' Naruto's traitorous mind conjured up the image of a nude Sakura in his current position, blushing red as a grinning Tsunade snapped on a pair of latex gloves behind her. 'Stop it, brain! Save that shit for when I'm at home!'

"Naruto, I'm palpating the blockage with my fingers, and it certainly seems sizable. Is it an eggplant?"

"Uh, yeah- I mean, maybe? I didn't really get a good look at it when it happened, Granny."

It was indeed an eggplant; a curved, nine-inch long, three-and-a-half-inch wide specimen to be exact, but he couldn't exactly tell her that without giving himself away.

"Of course, silly me. In any case," she suddenly withdrew her fingers while continuing to speak, "I don't think it's coming out without a little help. You sit tight for a minute while I prepare for the extraction."

Naruto made to move into a slightly more dignified position while he waited, but Tsunade swatted him lightly on his ass and told him to stay still. "I don't want you smearing lubricant all over my exam table, so just hold that pose until I get back." Then, with a last gentle pat on the butt - 'What is with her and touching my ass?' - she turned around and strode quickly out of the room. To Naruto's horror, she failed to close the door behind her.

"Granny? Granny!? Er, Hokage-sama?"

It didn't look like she was turning around, and Naruto wasn't willing to yell louder and potentially draw someone else over to investigate. It was fairly late, and he was in the private wing of the hospital for high-value patients, so maybe it would be okay. Still, there was always the possibility that some poor random nurse on night duty would peek in and see him, kneeling on the table with his ass in the air, freshly lubed and ready for - 'Oh fuck. Think unsexy thoughts, damn it!' But this little fantasy proved to be the last straw, and the erection Naruto had managed to suppress for the past few minutes rose to full attention. So apparently he had a bit of an exhibitionism fetish too. Fantastic.

This was the worst possible scenario in Naruto's mind. If he'd gotten hard when Tsunade was actually touching him, it would have been incredibly embarrassing but not entirely indefensible. Sakura had told him enough stories about her shifts at the hospital that he knew it was a normal thing for patients to get a little unintentionally excited when being examined, and wasn't regarded as a big deal. Tsunade returning to see him with a fresh raging boner after being left on his own for several minutes might not be so casually dismissed.

Maybe he could get rid of it before she came back? She hadn't mentioned what specific equipment she was going to pick up, so for all he knew she'd be gone for a while. Even if she did return early, as long as he heard her coming it wouldn't even take a second for him to get back in position, and his penis wouldn't be somehow more incriminating after getting played with. He'd have to dispose of his cum, but it wasn't like he'd never tasted himself before.

It seemed to be the best of his very limited options at the moment, so without hesitating further, Naruto shifted his weight to his left arm, reached back with his right, and started energetically jerking himself off.

The memory or Tsunade gently fingering him, and the knowledge that any minute now she would come back and slowly extract a fist-sized vegetable from his rectum, made for amazing wank material. As he imagined what was to come, Naruto couldn't help fantasizing about what kind of equipment Tsunade might bring back with her. Maybe an oversized medical speculum that she would use to spread his back passage, gently but persistently cranking it open until his ass gaped like a prostitute's pussy after a night walking the streets; or maybe she'd bring an enema bag, and gently rub his belly while filling him to the point of bursting, relying on sheer water pressure to send the large eggplant shooting out of him.

Getting more into it, he imagined her inviting Shizune and Sakura in to assist her; Sakura blushing and calling him an idiot when she learned about his predicament, but eagerly helping Tsunade prepare him for the extraction, and Shizune standing over to the side, explaining to a dozen trainee nurses what they planned to do to him. All of them would gather around him, giggling to each other and commenting on what a dirty boy he was...

'Oh gods, that's sooo good.' He could feel the huge vegetable up his ass, squeezing against his prostate every time he clenched. He was teetering right on the cusp - and then he heard the dreaded click of heels on a hard floor. 'Fuck, no! I'm so close!' But the shoes sounded only seconds away, and he'd never manage to clean his spunk up in time if he came now, so with a frustrated, heart-broken groan, Naruto took his hand off his desperate dick and assumed his former position, his whole body twitching with barely-constrained sexual energy. Maybe if he tucked his cock and balls in front of his legs and held his knees closer together, she wouldn't notice?

He didn't have any more time to consider his position, as Tsunade swept back in through the open doorway, this time at least letting it swing closed behind her. She didn't appear to be carrying any sort of new equipment on her, but that observation quickly faded from Naruto's mind as he took in her new appearance. Tsunade's normal clothes we quite revealing on their own, but this... this was something else, and Naruto's already raging libido was not ready for it.

She had apparently raided some nurse's locker for her new outfit, which consisted of the hospital-standard white skirt, blouse, and hat. Normally it would be a perfectly respectable getup, but the nurse those items originally belonged to must have been considerably smaller than Tsunade in several key areas, because the uniform was so tight it might as well have been painted on.

It was impossible to have ever met Tsunade and not be aware of her perfect hourglass figure, but Naruto had never seen it so clearly on display. Doing up the top half of her shirt must have proven impossible, and as a result a truly tantalizing amount of legendary cleavage was nearly falling out of it. 'Sweet Sage, she's not wearing a bra,' Naruto's brain helpfully pointed out.

The skirt she had somehow squeezed into barely covered the swell of her hips, meaning Naruto could easily see the clasps holding up the top of her matching lacy white stockings.

On her feet were a pair of shiny, four-inch white pumps. If Naruto was capable of higher thought at the moment, he might have wondered where she'd gotten them from; they certainly didn't look like standard hospital-issue. The same could be said of the glossy white gloves reaching up past her elbows.

The cute little nurse's hat perched daintily on top of Tsunade's blond head was so comparatively innocent in appearance, and yet it somehow brought the whole look together to make it even more intensely sexual.

"My eyes are up here, Naruto."

The imminent danger in her voice was enough to draw him back from the lust-fuelled daze he'd fallen into. Realizing he'd been openly staring for who knew how many seconds, he locked eyes with her and did his best not to look guilty. At least now he had a plausible excuse for his erection; Tsunade looked like she'd just walked out of the pages of *Icha Icha*.

"See something you like?" She sounded more amused than anything, but Naruto knew that didn't mean he was safe. She might just find the thought of tossing him out a hospital window funny.

"Ah, I just noticed that you, er, changed your clothes." She couldn't get pissed at him for a simple observation, right?

Tsunade shrugged carelessly as she made her way back to his side. "I thought this might get a bit messy, and better some nurse's uniform be ruined than my favourite top."

'That doesn't explain why you needed to the put the hat on, you damn tease,' he thought to himself. With his ass in the air and his rock-hard cock out in the open, he didn't have a lot of dignity left to lose, but he wasn't going to let her get more of a rise out of him than he had too.

"Er, what could get messy? What exactly are you planning on doing?" Now if he could just keep his voice from wavering every time he opened his mouth, he might be able to walk out of here with some small part of his pride intact.

"There are several potential treatment options, but considering the particulars of your situation I've decided the best course of action is to manually dilate you, and then digitally extract the obstructing object," Tsunade rattled off calmly, lapsing into medical-speak. Didn't she have anything better to do than drag this out?

"Right, and that means..."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I'm going to carefully expand your asshole, then reach up and pull it out by hand."

"Wait, you mean you're actually going to fist me!? Come on Granny, is that really necessary?" Naruto pleaded with her, unable to suppress the panic in his voice. Given his current state, Tsunade fisting him was almost certainly going to result in a puddle of jizz on the exam table.

Tsunade raised a perfectly-shaped eyebrow at him. "Now where did you learn a term like that, Naruto?"

He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead. "Uh, Jiraiya took me to a girl and donkey show when we traveling through Lightning Country." This was the truth, actually. He fully blamed his unusual fetishes on the pervy sage's corrupting influence.

"Che, of course he did. And what did you think of it?"

What kind of question was that? "It was, ah, impressive, I guess?" And a significant part of his sexual awakening. It hadn't been the first adult club he'd been dragged to by his godfather, but it was the first one he'd done anything but stare at the ground. The way that cute little performer had made things just seem to disappear up her various holes had been mesmerizing.

Tsunade hummed thoughtfully. "Yes, it's amazing the things the human body can be made to accommodate when properly prepared, isn't it?"

The thread of this conversation was starting to make Naruto squirm, and he couldn't think of a response other than a wordless noise of agreement.

"Speaking of preparation, I suppose we'd better get started ourselves. I'm sure both of us would rather be somewhere else on a Friday night." She stepped behind him and out of his line of sight.

"I'd settle for being able to put my clothes on, personally," he said feebly. She must have a full view of his schlong right now.

"I'm surprised at how shy you are. What happened to the boy whose first original ninjutsu involved running around as a slutty pin-up girl?"

His blush deepened. "Oy, she isn't slutty! My sexy jutsu is a nice girl! Besides, it's different when it's not your own body."

"Oh, don't be such a wimp; you've got nothing to be embarrassed about. Now try to relax."

He felt a strong hand grab him at the hip, and then the cool, lubed up fingers slid into him once again, going in even easier this time thanks to the smooth latex gloves. Actually, wasn't it weird that she didn't use gloves the first time?

The sensation had been arousing enough when he was still flaccid; with his dick hard and primed from having reached the verge of orgasm minutes earlier, Naruto was nearly panting from need. The first time, Tsunade had just been giving his ass a check-up; now she was actively trying to fill and strain his rectum, and in doing so she was hitting his pleasure points better than he or his clones ever had.

She didn't waste time, and frankly Naruto didn't need that much of a warm up considering what he already had wedged up his colon, so a third and fourth finger soon made their way inside him as well. Gently pumping her hand and rhythmically splaying and bunching her fingers, she was slowly testing his limits, both mental and physical. He was just barely holding himself back from the edge through some desperate meditation exercises, but he could feel himself teetering on the rim, and knew from experience that there was probably a growing pool of precum dripping out of him by now.

"I must say, Naruto, you're a lot cleaner back here than I'd have expected. It's almost like you washed yourself out before you got here." Naruto could actually feel his pulse jump at her casual statement. He'd washed off as much of the lube as he could with a quick second enema before getting dressed and tracking down Shizune, but of course the cleanliness itself was giveaway!

"Ah, well, I'd just gotten out of the shower when I started prepping for dinner. And isn't that a good thing?" Damn it, he sounded way too defensive, but it was so hard to think straight like this!

"Oh, it's a good thing, I guess, it's just a little funny; most patients who have rectums as squeaky-clean as yours come here for very similar problems."

"O-oh really?" Gods, he was starting to sound like Hinata.

"Yes, you'd never believe the things that get stuck inside people. I remember once treating a man who had an entire miniature stone buddha shoved inside him. If I remember it right, he fell on it just like you did." As she spoke, her fingers never stopped probing him.

"Hah, what a... w-weird coincidence." The room was far too hot. Naruto felt intensely aware of how much he was sweating.

"Isn't it? You'd think that the chances of people falling in such a spectacularly specific way that household objects just shoot up their backsides would be a one in a billion fluke, and yet I've treated four or five such cases every year since I returned to the hospital. It's a very strange epidemic." Tsunade's voice was so blatantly nonchalant that her words were clearly meant as sarcasm, and Naruto had the horrible suspicion that the jig was up after all.

"Incidentally, I've been wondering; do you normally cook in the nude?" asked Tsunade. It was likely the final nail in his coffin, but he clung to the fleeting chance that she wasn't about to call him out on his sexual deviancy.

"W-well, like I said, I'd just gotten out of the shower and I suddenly felt so hungry, I couldn't be bothered to get dressed!"

"Naruto, if you ever want to be hokage, you're going to have to be a much better liar than that."

So she did know. Naruto was horrified and so embarrassed he wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. "Granny, I'm-

"A nasty little pervert who's so obsessed with having his ass filled that he makes incredibly stupid and potentially dangerous decisions? I've already figured out that much, idiot."

As she laid into him, she actually seemed to speed up her ministrations to his rectum, pumping her fingers into him well past the knuckle with increasing force. Naruto wouldn't have believed it possible in such a traumatizing situation, but he knew he was about to blow his load all over the exam table.

"No, Granny, stop! You're gonna make me-"

And then she forced her entire fist up his ass. As the widest part of her latex-covered hand slid into him and his sphincter closed on her wrist, Naruto felt as though a cattle prod had been shoved inside him and discharged. His back arched as the long overdue orgasm tore through him; it was like all the fluid in his body was being squeezed through his dick, and his eyes rolled back insensibly as he was wracked with spasm after pleasurable spasm. Thoughts about his situation and how humiliated he should feel were obliterated by the waves of pleasure from his overstimulated prostate, and he was conscious only of the amazing sensations coming from his back door.

His sense of time had skewed, so he didn't know when he finally collapsed bonelessly on the table in a puddle of his own cum, or how long he laid there with a hand up his shitter. His return to earth came when he felt a slow movement inside him, a slight pain, and then a tremendous sense of emptiness.

He blinked drowsily and looked around in a dazed manner, not really taking in his surroundings until someone stepped into view at his side and awareness of his situation snapped back to him in an overwhelming rush. He flailed wildly as he tried to stand, slurring expletives as he did, and would have fallen off the table if a steadying hand hadn't firmly held him down.

"Don't try and stand up right away, just take a few deep breaths." Tsunade was still standing over him, smiling down like an Akimichi who'd just been told the restaurant they were dining at was all-you-can-eat. In the hand that wasn't pushing him down she held a familiar-looking eggplant.

"That was quite the orgasm. I don't think I've ever seen a boy actually pass out from ejaculating too hard."

That's it; Tsunade had found him out. His life was over. Why had he thought for a second she wouldn't see through him? He was a shitty liar at the best of times, and she had decades of experience as both a ninja and a doctor. Gods, she was never going to let him live this down.

"Naruto? I know you're awake, idiot, you just had your eyes open." Ha, as if he was going to let a little thing like logic stop him. If he played possum long enough, maybe she would get bored, leave, and then he could run off and live the Forest of Death for the rest of his life and never be forced to talk about what had just happened.

After a few more ignored questions, he heard a wordless noise of frustration behind him, and then he found himself being scooped up by arms much stronger than his own. Struggling ineffectively, he was forced to abandon his initial plan. "Hey, put me down! What are you doing!?"

"Moving us to a cleaner location, since you've made a mess of this one. Now quit struggling." Tsunade cradled him like a baby against her chest as she casually turned and walked out of the room and into the hall, ignoring further protests for his release until she walked into the next room over and unceremoniously dropped him onto an unoccupied hospital bed.

Naruto barely had time to sit up before he was joined on the surprisingly soft and roomy bed by the other blonde, who quickly grabbed him by the shoulder to keep him from getting up.

"Would you relax? I just want to talk about what happened back there."

"Could we please not?" he asked. "I already feel like digging myself a hole to crawl into, I don't need you rubbing things in any further."

"Oh? I was getting the impression you quite liked me rubbing things in as deeply as I could," Tsunade shot back with a wink.

He just groaned and held his head in his hands.

She chuckled quietly. "Oh relax, it's not that big a deal."

Naruto raised his head and regarded her skeptically. "So you aren't going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life?"

"Oh, I'll definitely be doing that, but I promise I'll limit it to when we're in private. Your extracurricular forays into extreme anal play can remain our little secret." She squeezed his shoulder in what he assumed was meant to be a comforting manner.

He sighed deeply. He supposed that was as big a concession as he could hope for - considering Tsunade's past reactions to Jiraiya's perversions, he'd honestly expected a bit more of a blow-up on her part.

"Well, thanks, I guess. Now, would you mind letting me get up and put on some clothes?" Naruto was very aware of the fact that he was still entirely naked and literally in bed with a sexy-nurse-uniform-wearing Tsunade. If he didn't put some distance between the two of them in the next few minutes, little Naruto was going to wake up for round two, and he'd already experienced near-lethal levels of embarrassment today.

"Nah, I think I'll keep you like this for at least a little while longer; I have a few things left to talk to you about," she said as she wrapped her arm around him, drawing him in even closer to her. He did his best to ignore how near his head was to her left breast.

"First of all, you've probably already realized this, but I want to emphasize how phenomenally stupid it is to stick something up your ass that doesn't have either a wide base or a tether of some sort attached to it. There are plenty of reputable sex stores around Konoha where you can buy proper toys to play with, and I expect you to be more responsible in the future. Got it?"

He should have realized he wasn't getting out of the hospital without a humiliating lecture. He felt like his cheeks were on fire. Still, he couldn't help but try to defend himself a little. "I checked out a couple, but none of the stores I went to had ones that were my, uh, preferred size." He mumbled the last part, but Tsunade still heard it if her snort of amusement was anything to go by.

"Hmmm," she stroked her chin thoughtfully, "I suppose that makes sense; most establishments aren't equipped to cater to XL-inclined anal enthusiasts. Still, I know at least a few places that will have the kind of inventory you'd like."

Naruto felt like he was missing something. "How the hell do you know that much about sex stores?" Now that he thought about it, she'd said a couple other similarly odd things earlier in the evening, although he'd been too preoccupied at the time to may them much mind.

Tsunade waved a hand dismissively. "I'll get to that in a moment. For now, I want to talk little bit more about your fetish."

"Come on Granny, do we really have to?" It was great that she was taking this so well, but couldn't she just let things lie?

"Yes, we do. Anal sex is an act with a great deal of misinformation and negative assumptions surrounding it, and since it's something you clearly enjoy, I want to make sure you don't have any harmful misconceptions. So, can you tell me why you were so embarrassed about your proclivities that you had to make up a half-assed lie before you were willing to come see me?"

It looked like this was one of those things that she was going to be absolutely relentless about, so Naruto resigned himself to the inquisition. He turned the question over in his head for a minute before giving his answer, because if she sensed he was lying to her she'd drag this out even longer.

"I guess I was worried that you'd think I was a pervert, or less of a man or something. I mean, I'm happy you're being so cool about it, but most people would say shoving a giant vegetable up your butt was weird, right?"

"They might say it in public, but a good number of them would be hypocrites," she replied without hesitating. "The vast majority of people have at least one fetish or turn-on that's outside the norm, and in my experience that goes double for ninjas. As to feeling like less of a man, you're worried that it's a little gay to enjoy anal play, right?"

Naruto fidgeted. "Yeah, I suppose that's it. Not that I have a problem with that kinda thing, but I only like girls, and I don't think that's going to change."

She nodded, clearly expecting his answer. "As you say, it wouldn't be something to be ashamed about if you bent the other way, but it's important to keep in mind that how you get off doesn't change your orientation. Plenty of lesbians enjoy playing with rubber cocks, and that doesn't mean they're secretly craving a man."

"Okay," he conceded, "but what about if they liked pretending the toys they used were real? Wouldn't that show they wanted to be with a guy at least a little?" He trailed off slightly at the end of the question. It touched on his biggest insecurity regarding his fetish, and while Tsunade had been understanding so far, it was still difficult to even allude to it.

"Naruto, most of them probably are imagining they're real; that's why so many are designed to look realistic in the first place. Penises aren't an essentially male organ on their own, and it's possible to like them without being interested in men. Have you ever been attracted to a boy before?"

"No!" he said resolutely. Well, except for Haku, but he had been a ridiculously convincing cross-dresser, so it didn't count! "But come on, how is a cock not male?" He wanted to agree with her, for his own peace of mind, but he was having a hard time wrapping his head around that.

Tsunade smiled like she was indulging a small child. "It's true that the majority of penises are found on boys, but that's also true of short hair cuts and bad breath. Sometimes girls have those things too."

"Girls can have dicks?" Naruto asked, and he couldn't be bothered to mask the excitement in his voice. That was... that was awesome. He'd had some fantasies about that sort of thing after finding some drawings of the subject in a fetish magazine, but he'd never considered that it might be a reality.

"Mmhmm. Some girls are born with them, although they unfortunately often get mistaken for boys when they're young, and some women learn how to grow them later in life."

"Wait, girls can just grow dicks? How the hell does that work?" This was starting to sound pretty out there.

Tsunade was looking at him like he was an idiot. "Naruto, you figured out how to give yourself breasts and a vagina at the age of nine. Do you really think no kunoichi have developed techniques to go the other direction?"

He blinked. When she put it that way, it sounded pretty obvious. And thrilling. "So, any kunoichi is able to just grow a dick at will!? How come I've never heard of this before?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not something that comes up too much in normal conversation, dumbass. And not all kunoichi are able to do it, or interested in learning how; it takes a fair bit of skill and a good understanding of anatomy to pull it off properly."

"Anatomy..." A question was forming in his mind, and as inappropriate it was, he felt he absolutely had to ask it. "Granny, have you ever, you know, grown one?"

The arm wrapped around his shoulders squeezed him tight, and Tsunade shifted so that her mouth was nearly touching his ear. "Now why would you want to know something like that, Naruto?" she almost whispered.

"J-just curious! It doesn't really matter to me at all!"

"Hmm, it looks like you're cock is saying otherwise." Naruto looked down, a feeling of trepidation in his gut. Sure enough, his impressively erect member was pointing skyward, acting as though it hadn't hosed down the exam-table less than 10 minutes ago.

He tried to cover himself with the hand that wasn't trapped under Tsunade's body, but she had a firm grip on his bicep and wasn't allowing him to move. "Ah ah ah, the cat's already out of the bag, no need to hide it now. So, Naruto, is the thought of me with cock that much of a turn-on for you?"

"No, it isn't! Come on, this isn't fair!" He squirmed against her, but he clearly wasn't going anywhere until she allowed him to.

"I'll let you touch it." The sound of his own movements almost drowned out her whispered offer, but Naruto caught the words. The struggling stopped. His heartbeat sounded loud in his ears.

"W-why would you let me do that?" Even with no one around to hear them, he felt like he had to whisper.

"You really are a numbskull, aren't you?" Her voice sounded fond and amused even as she insulted him. "Why does anyone want to have their dick touched? Now, do you want to see it or not? Say the word, and you can get dressed, go home, and we never have to speak of this again."

She said this in a matter-of-fact tone, then her voice dropped several octives to a sexy purr. "Or you can pick door number two and find out what your hokage's packing under her skirt."

Naruto tried to work some saliva into his suddenly dry mouth. Senju Tsunade, legendary kunoichi, universally acknowledged super-babe, and his surrogate mother/teasing older sister, was offering to show him her dick. The entirely real penis she was apparently capably of growing at will. He had to consciously remind himself to keep breathing.

She was looking at him with a smug expression that said she already knew what he was going to say, and if he was honest with himself, he was only pretending to debate the offer to keep from giving away how desperately he wanted to accept it. This scene kicked the ass of any fantasy he'd ever had, and he'd never forgive himself if he ran away now.

He swallowed, and, as confidently as he could, said he'd take the second option.

"You're asking a lady to undress for you, Naruto, at least try to be polite about it." The smug smile was still firmly place.

"Please, please let me see your penis, Tsunade-sama." Under other circumstances he'd be annoyed with how she was dragging this out, but he was too excited to care right now, and in the current setting her demanding attitude was making his stomach flip-flop.

"Well," she said, "since you asked nicely." Not moving from his side and with her arm still wrapped possessively around him, she casually slid a gloved finger down the side of her short, achingly tight skirt, cleanly cutting through the fabric with a subtle application of chakra. Pulling it out from under her, the now ruined garment came away in one piece, and Naruto whimpered at the sight of her exposed body.

Her crotchless underwear was lacy and white, matching the rest of her outfit, and it framed the most mouth-wateringly plump pussy lips he'd ever imagined. The surrounding skin was smooth and flawless, and Naruto wanted nothing more than to feel those thighs wrapped around his head. How could the body of the world's strongest woman look so soft?

The folds of her slit glistened with wetness, and small rivulets of liquid could be seen running down to pool between her legs. Naruto didn't have a tremendous amount of experience with girls, but it was glaringly obvious she was every bit as aroused as he was, and this knowledge swept away his lingering doubts. He'd been half afraid this was some joke she was playing on him to give her even more ammunition to tease him with in the future.

"Down boy, the show hasn't started yet." At Tsunade's playful command, Naruto realized he'd been starting to drool. Before he could do anything about it, she'd reached up and wiped the corner of his mouth with her thumb. Then, to his amazement, she took that same latex-clad hand and, reaching down, began to slowly rub circles around her soaking snatch, smearing her glistening juices all around her crotch as she did so.

"Watch, hah, closely, Naruto," said Tsunade, a breathless excitement in her voice that mirrored his own feelings. Not that he needed to be told; he doubted a naked Ayame running into the room and telling him he'd won free ramen for life would make him look away from this.

Watching Tsunade like he was bearing witness to a miracle, Naruto could make out brief flashes of green medical chakra sparking between her fingers as she continued to play with herself, her eyes on his face the entire time. Her pubic mound grew increasingly swollen, and then suddenly it began to twitch and bulge as it lit up with the same green glow as her fingers. As Tsunade groaned exultantly, the light flared so brightly that Naruto was forced to look away for a moment, and when he looked back, she lay panting on the bed and the process was complete.

"Wow," he said with a hushed reverence normally reserved for holy sites. Tsunade's cock was huge. Naruto'd always known he was comfortably above average in terms of endowment, but the penis bobbing gently under its own weight in front of him made his own look like a child's. Fortunately he was too busy lusting after it to bother with feelings of inadequacy.

Despite being longer than his forearm and a good deal wider than a beer can, Tsunade's meat-stick was strangely feminine in appearance. It was toweringly erect, but there were no odd bumps or discolourations, instead it was the same pale tone as the rest of her skin, giving it a lovely soft appearance. It's smooth fullness made it look almost chubby, perfectly matching Tsunade's voluptuous figure. A pair of equally weighty apple-sized balls hung beneath it, obscuring most of her pussy. It was far and away the most attractive cock Naruto had ever seen. He needed to touch it.

"Hah, this isn't usually quite so intense." said Tsunade, working to bring her breathing under control. "Well? Tell me what you think."

He knew he probably looked a little foolish right now, his gaze fixated on the gorgeous schlong before him with the same look of hunger as when he was given a super-deluxe Naruto special at Ichiraku's, but he was beyond caring. Tsunade already knew his darkest secrets, he wasn't going to play coy any more.

"Alright, you win. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Please, can - can I touch it? You said I could, right?"

"Mmhmm, so I did. Well then, have at it," she said, finally releasing her grip on him and settling back into the pillow behind her, watching him expectantly.

Naruto sprang forward, scrambling into a crouched position that put Tsunade's hefty tool within easy reach. He wrapped both hands around the cock, and marveled at its girth. How would this monstrous thing feel as it reamed him out?

Like a blind man, Naruto ran his hands around Tsunade's dick, gently caressing it from tip to base, committing its every contour to memory. He was thrilled to hear the small sounds of approval coming from her, and it was difficult not to squeal childishly with glee. He was in bed with a staggeringly beautiful woman and her even more beautiful penis, a fantasy he'd never dared to hope might ever happen. He was making the person he respected and cared for more than anyone else in the world bite her lip in pleasure, and he wanted even more. She'd already seen his O-face; he wouldn't be satisfied until she returned the favour.

Pulling back the last fold of foreskin covering the base of her peach-pink cock head, Naruto's nose was filled with the unique musky smell he associated with his own arousal, only even more strong and heady. He felt like he could get drunk on the fragrance alone, but why hold back when the scent's origin was already in his hands?

Looking Tsunade straight in the eye, he dragged his tongue along her glans, and was pleased to see her shiver involuntarily in response. He turned his head to focus on his work, determined to mark every inch of her cock with his saliva. Despite only finding out it existed a few minutes ago, he felt incredibly possessive about the organ. The thought that this might be a onetime thing, that after tonight he might never have a chance to taste it again, was unacceptable.

"Don't forget my balls, Naruto." Her voice sounded composed, but her flushed face assured him his efforts were being appreciated. Eager to obey, he began sloppily licking and sucking on the enormous testicles that hung like ripe fruit beneath her dick, doing his best to imitate the professionals he'd seen at some of the shows Jiraiya dragged him to.

Tsunade's balls were slick with fluid before he even started giving them a tongue bath, and at first he just assumed it was sweat, but when the tangy-sour flavour hit his taste buds, he realized they were soaked with her pussy juices. He'd been so enamoured with her newly sprouted cock that he'd forgotten about the other set of genitals it had covered up.

Not wanting to neglect any part of her, he lifted her sack out of the way and leaned in to start eating his first snatch, only to have his hair grabbed and his head pulled firmly back. Tsunade stared imperiously down at him.

"I'll let you to go down on me another time. Tonight, I want all your attention on my cock."

Naruto nodded vigorously. That sounded like a fine deal to him.

The fingers untwined themselves from his hair, and he returned to his duties with gusto. Her balls were huge, but he soon discovered that if he opened his jaw as wide as possible and sucked hard enough, he could just barely pop one into his mouth, even if it make him feel like a chipmunk when he did it.

"Good boy. Can you taste how full they are? That's all for you."

Tsunade's veneer of control was starting to crack. She'd waited so, so long for this day. Naruto's mouth on her nuts felt like heaven, and the sheer need with which he sucked and slobbered on her sack was leaving her leaking precum like a faucet.

"Naruto, stand up." She'd been hoping to take things slow, let him set the pace as much as possible, but he was pushing her buttons far too well.

He looked up at her, one of her fat balls lodged in his mouth and bulging his cheeks. It was one of the sexiest things she'd ever seen.

"Baby, don't make me repeat myself. Stop spit-shining my nuts and get your ass up here. Time for the main event."

Naruto hated removing his mouth from Tsunade's tasty sack, but when he looked up and saw pearly fluid leaking out of her mammoth womb-wrecker, and heard her promise that his ass was finally going to get the reaming it deserved, he managed to spit out her plump testicle and crawl up to her.

Palming the back of his head in her hand, she dragged him up so that he lay on top of her, almost sinking into the incredible softness of her breasts, his ass straddling her hard cock, and forcefully pulled him into a searing kiss. Her tongue had no difficulty pushing past his lips and conquering his mouth, eagerly picking up the faint taste of her own body.

Naruto was loving every moment of this. He'd always known Tsunade was a dominant woman; she expected her demands to be met and refused anything less than exemplary performance from the people working under her. He'd always acted a little rebellious towards her, more to get a reaction than anything else, but the way she was now bending his body to her will was driving him mad. Even laying on top of her as she shoved her tongue down his throat, he was acutely aware of how much larger she was than him and the amount of power that lay under her soft curves. It was such a rush to feel so helpless in her hands. She could demand anything of him at the moment, and he didn't think he'd be able to refuse.

As Tsunade continued to plunder his mouth, she began to rub her cock currently trapped between his legs, grinding her shaft against his taint and asshole. Her penis was so long it extended past his thighs, and he could feel the occasional light splatter of precum falling on his lower back.

After a few minutes of this steady thigh-fucking, Naruto was beginning to go insane. Her penis was sooo close to sliding up inside him. It was already coated in the lube still dribbling out of his ass from his earlier procedure, and it would take only the smallest change in the angle of Tsunade's thrusts to send it up his butt, but she seemed content to continue this wonderful torture.

He moaned needily into her mouth, and Tsunade finally broke the kiss to look at him, her eyes bright. "Something wrong, Naruto? You sound like you're in pain." As she spoke her hand that wasn't at the nape of his neck began roughly groping his ass.

"Damn it, just fuck me already! You said you were going to!"

"Oh, but making you squirm is so much fun. You're such a desperate little cock-hound, I could just tease you all night." She laughed at his cry of frustration.

"If you really want me to shove my dick up that slutty butt of yours, I'm going to need some convincing." Gods, this woman was pure evil.

"Alright, whatever you want! Tell me what I'm supposed to do!"

"Whatever I want? You should be careful making those kind of statements, they'll give me all sorts of terrible ideas." She trailed a hand down the side of his face before gently cupping his jaw, forcing him to look her in the eye. "If I told you to get your nipples pierced, would you do it? What if I tell you to start cross-dressing in public? What if I want you to move in with me and be my live-in sex pet?"

"Nguh, Yes, okay, I promise! Anything you say, just stop teasing me and do it already!" He'd deal with the consequences, whatever they were, later. Right now, his thoughts of the future were blotted out by the fat meat pole currently sliding against his taint. He grabbed at Tsunade's top, fisting the taut fabric in his hands and pulling her mouth to his. He didn't have much experience with this sort of thing, but he tried to convey through the kiss just how much he wanted her, how desperate he was for her to fill him up. Tsunade allowed him into her mouth, nipping and sucking on his tongue in a way that made his toes curl.

He was an eager student and did his best to give as good as he got, inviting her tongue into his mouth so he could imitate the tricks she was showing him. When she pushed him away a second time, she appeared much less composed, looking almost wild with her lipstick smeared and her hair lightly tousled.

"Oh you silly boy, you have no idea what you're doing to me. I'm going break you like a horse. Just don't forget you asked for it." Her tone was dangerous, almost threatening, but the bubbles of fear in his gut stirred up his excitement to new heights.

Her hands went to his hips and lifted him as easily as if he were an air-filled doll, holding him up like a newly-won festival prize. She adjusted her grip on him, deftly manipulating him into position until he felt the head of her cock slide along his ass, coming to a stop as it nestled against his still gaping asshole. He squirmed in anticipation, and a little bit of nervousness. It felt so big between his cheeks, larger than anything he'd shoved up there before.

He opened his mouth to ask her to be gentle, but then she finally allowed gravity to do its work while thrusting her hips up to meet him, and Naruto suddenly found himself with roughly a foot of kage cock straitening out his colon. He would have yelled, but it felt like most of his insides had just been scooped out of him, and he couldn't find the breath to do more than moan weakly. His poor rectum that he'd trained so diligently had finally met its match. His shithole was too well trained to feel much pain from being stretched out of shape, but right now it was plaintively letting him know it had no further flex left to give. He was pretty sure Tsunade's cock was bending his pubic bone.

"Hmm," she murmured, jostling his body from side to side and wiggling her hips as she tried to work the last inches of her dick into his over-capacity ass to no avail. "It seems we've got a bit of a problem, Naruto. I made my penis extra large just to satisfy your greedy ass, and now you can't even take it properly. Maybe my expectations of you were too high."

He struggled to come up with a response, finding it difficult to ignore the unique sensation that came from having most of his body weight being supported by his colon.

"Just, hah, give me a minute, would ya?"

He'd experimented with depth play before, never with something this wide of course, but he was pretty sure that if he just twisted a little to the left and molded chakra into his abdomen like so... he sunk another few inches down her shaft and swore he could feel it brushing his stomach. It was already the most amazingly full he'd ever felt, but he knew his journey down the shaft wasn't finished yet, and he was going to take this ridiculous telephone pole of a penis to the base if it killed him.

Gathering his feet under him, he struggled to raise himself a few inches, fighting his internal muscles that weren't ready to relinquish their taut grip on Tsunade's booty blaster, and then slamming himself back down, huffing slightly as the internal gut-bashing he was going through on each thrust forced the remaining air out of his lungs. Ah well, he didn't need those organs anyway.

Tsunade lay unmoving beneath him, content to watch him slowly screw himself onto her prick with a level of enthusiasm that bordered on manic, a smile on her face like a proud mother watching her child's first steps. "Oh, well done," she murmured when his perky bottom finally rested on her nutsack. "You really are the biggest butt slut I've ever met." She wiggled her hips a bit, failing to dislodge her peg from his hole in the slightest. "And the tightest one too."

Her hands moved back up to their place at his hips, her fingers sinking into his haunch as she gripped him tight. "Do you feel how hard I am inside you, Naruto? You did that to me. I hope you're ready to take responsibility for it, because the kiddy gloves are coming off."

There was that threatening, husky voice again. Naruto wanted to hear more of it.

"Bring it, old woman! I'm ready for you!" His ass was already telling him was never going to shit right again, but like hell he was backing down now.

Tsunade's smile was shark-like. "Oh baby, you really are dumb." With super-human strength, she lifted him up, effortlessly overcoming the vacuum pressure his ass was applying to her dick, and then slamming him back down with equal force. Naruto could feel the bulbous head of her cock scraping his insides with each thrust, doing it's best to drag his guts out long with it. The sensation was unreal, and he felt like more of a sex toy than a man. Surely the human body was never meant to be invaded this way. The anus was supposed to be an out-only hole, and his years of cheerfully violating that principle had apparently earned him a karmic dept that the universe was now forcing him to repay with heavy interest. His colon was being railroaded with such force that if he didn't have a demon-given regeneration ability he'd be worried about being stuck in diapers after this was over.

Like a fat kid with a melting ice-cream cone, Naruto's ass made loud, almost obnoxious slurping noises as it squelched up and down the hokage's slippery shaft. It was difficult to maintain eye-contact with her as she rapidly bounced him on her schlong, but he could see the thrilled, ravenous expression on her face, and the intensity of her stare made him feel a sudden need to cover himself, like her scrutiny was laying bare all his innermost secrets. Which was stupid, because he'd already spilled most of his secrets to her this evening.

As she was treating his asshole to an inhuman pounding, she spoke to him. "Fuck, you have no idea how long I've wanted this! Every time you got smart with me I had to fight the urge to bend you over my desk and teach you some respect. You should have gotten something stuck up your bubble butt years ago; I could have you properly broken in by now." Well, she was definitely making up for lost time; 'broken in' described the state of his rear end pretty damn well at the moment.

"You could have, guh, made the first move, you know!" he replied as clearly as he could while being worn like a condom. "It's not like I'd have ever turned you down!"

"What do you think I did tonight, dumbass? If I hadn't practically tied you to the damn table, you'd have run home like a little bitch and we'd both be stuck jerking off alone!" The speed of her thrusts got faster and more erratic, sometimes long-dicking him from tip to base, sometimes barely letting him rise off her cock before slamming him back down. "But now we both know the truth, don't we? I've got a fat cock that needs a place to dump its load, and you've got a slutty little butt with plenty of spare room inside it."

He knew he should probably be offended by a statement like that, that the vast majority of men would consider it a shameful insult, but seeing Tsunade like this and knowing it was his body that was making her so wild was giving him a perverse sense of accomplishment. He might have a slutty ass, but it was a slutty ass that the most powerful woman in the world desperately wanted to fuck.

Tsunade's escalating assault on his tailpipe was tossing him around so roughly that he was starting to get lightheaded, and in an attempt to stabilize himself a bit, he leaned forward and grabbed onto the generous handholds provided by her chest. As his fingers dug into the taut fabric, the buttons of her shirt, already strained to their limit containing her prodigious tits, finally gave out and popped off en masse.

Feeling the cloth give way under his hands, he instinctively pulled back to assess the result, and was treated to the sight many men would - and in some cases nearly did - die for. Enormous even for a woman of her proportions, the pair of perky, blessedly round tits looked nearly as tasty as her cock, and if he wasn't being slung around like a cocktail shaker, he'd have tried to get a taste of them. As it was, he settled for enthusiastically pawing at them and enjoying the way his fingers sunk into their surface, considering it partial payback for the attack she was currently making on his colon.

She apparently disagreed with him, as she quickly stopped thrusting and grabbed his wandering hands by the wrists. "Oh dear, I'm going to have to punish you for that."

Her cock still buried halfway up his belly, Tsunade sat up and pushed him backwards so that his head and shoulders touched the mattress, his lower body held suspended by her penis. Quickly moving onto her knees while still holding his ass tightly against her, her hands grabbed his thighs and held them forward so that his body curled in on itself, his shoulders driven into the bed and his knees almost framing his head. More importantly, this position left his own cock less than a foot from his face.

Tsunade resumed thrusting like a madwoman. Her kneeling stance left her unable to long-dick him, but the new angle was causing her battering ram of a dick to grind against his prostate with even more force than before, leaving Naruto squirming as his own precum dribbled onto his face.

"Hmm, not flexible enough to suck yourself off? I guess with kage bunshin that's never been an issue for you, eh? Well, don't worry, we've got plenty of time to work on that. Now, wrap a hand around your cock and start jerking it for me."

He had the uneasy feeling he knew what the catch was was going to be, but that didn't keep him from eagerly grabbing his insistent hard-on and jerking off like he was on a time limit.

"You cum before I say you can and I'm tossing you onto the streets wearing nothing but jizz," Tsunade warned him.

He could feel an enormous orgasm building in his balls; the urge had become nearly overwhelming since she had shifted so that her dick kept pressing directly into that happy spot in his ass with every swing. The only reason he hadn't already blown was that he'd shot a hell of a load just half an hour before, and even so it was a close thing. He did his best to relax and will back the tide, but found it unsurprisingly difficult to slacken muscles already being stretched to their limits. Every time Tsunade buried herself in him to the hilt, he felt as though a bomb was going off inside him.

"Considering how eager you were to give my dick a tongue bath earlier, I bet you've jerked off to the thought of getting a hot load in the face before, haven't you?" Her face was partially obscured by his own bouncing ballsack, but she was still staring intently at him as she beat the shape of her cock into his ass.

"Gods yes, every night!" He really couldn't spare the effort to lie right now, and confessing his fantasies to her gave him a twisted sense of pleasure along with the embarrassment.

"Well then you're in for a treat. Unfortunately, I've decided that my first batch of baby batter is reserved for christening this lovely cumdump of an ass you've got, so we're just going to have to make believe that the warm shot of cockmilk that's about to plaster your cheeks is mine, okay? Make sure you aim well; I don't want that cum going anywhere but in your mouth and on your face."

She let out a long, pleased moan. "I can feel you twitching like mad around my dick right now. You like it when I'm mean to you, don't you? You enjoy getting bullied and talked down to. Well, open that pretty mouth and get ready to show me how much you appreciate my attention. That's it, stick your tongue out. You're just a horny little puppy begging for a treat. MY horny little puppy." Tsunade was getting frantic, moving so wildly that her pendulous balls were practically spanking his ass as she pounded him. He was furiously stroking his cock in an attempt to match her, his own precum slicking his palm.

"You ready baby? You gonna cum for me? That's it, cum! Cum right in your cocksucking mouth, catch it on your tongue! You love the taste, don't you? Ah, fuck that's hot!"

His cum hit him in the face like a water pistol, quickly filling his mouth and overflowing up into his nose and eyes. Blinded, his aim got shakey, and his cheeks, hair, and neck got a few good ropes of it. His orgasm was incredible, outpacing even his previous one in strength and volume. He felt like he could float right off the hospital bed if it weren't for Tsunade's body pressing down on him, bending him almost double. He couldn't even shake or thrash to relieve the nervous energy bursting out of him, lest he wind up shooting off target and angering her, so all he could do was cough and gargle as his own thick goop started sliding down his throat.

"Don't swallow, don't you dare swallow! Keep your faggot mouth open, show me how much you shot! Fuck, your ass is like vise right now! I'm gonna cum, baby! I'm going to fill you up!"

Naruto's own orgasm was starting to taper off some, but when the fire hose went off in his rectum, filling his abused intestines with a hot frothy torrent of feminine ball juice, his own penis responded by shooting a few more powerful spurts, a weak immitation of the eruption going on inside him.

It was like a dam had broken as Tsunade held herself against him, locking him to her as she deposited seven years worth of backed up cum and agonizing sexual frustration in his belly. He swore he could feel it working its way up his system, bubbling and gurgling up through his digestive tract and making him feeling like an increasingly overinflated cum balloon.

He wriggled as his confused belly cramped slightly in protest to this over the top intrusion, but Tsunade's grip was like iron, and the seal between her shaft and his terribly overworked sphincter was way too tight for any semen to slip out, even under the increasingly pressurized conditions of his stomach.

Tsunade was muttering almost incoherently to herself, but through his hazy thoughts and the cum that had apparently managed to drip down and clog up one of his ears, he thought he could hear happy words or gratitude.

Eventually, even the hokage's endless sexual energy seemed to give out, and as the sperm enema currently stretching out the parts of his bowels too deep for even her cock to reach tapered off, she slumped against him, her weight on his legs and her cock still locked tightly into his ass. He couldn't see much with a film of cum coating his eyes, but he was pretty sure hers were closed.

For a few minutes they both lay there, and she appeared to be surprisingly comfortable draped over his curled up body, but he had a small problem of his own that he wasn't sure how to deal with, so after a while he started making some small noises in his throat in an effort to rouse her.

"Mmmm, that was the best orgasm I've had in decades. You were incredible." He'd apparently been successful, but his little problem wasn't solved, so his noises got a little more urgent and imploring.

"Oh my, you've still got a load of spunk in your mouth, don't you? What a good boy you've been. You can swallow it down now, baby." Gratefully, he did as she told him, swallowing with a little bit of effort his still warm but slightly congealed load.

"You're a bit of a mess, aren't you?" She giggled in a girlish way he couldn't remember ever hearing from her before. "It's a good look on you, but I guess it must be a bit uncomfortable. Why don't I help you clean up a bit?"

Naruto gasped as he felt a tongue lick his cheek, taking with it a large dollop of spooge, followed by the sound of smacking lips. "Not a bad taste, brat. I may have to sample it from the source sometime."

"Really?" He asked, feeling like he still had a mouth full of peanut butter.

"Well, maybe if you're very good." She returned to licking his face, and while Naruto still couldn't see anything, the image his mind brought up was of a mother cat cleaning her kitten.

Either by accident or design, she left his eyes for last, and when she finally sucked up the little puddles that had collected there, he cracked his eyelids open a bit and through the small strands of cum and spit that clung to his lashes he could see her licking her lips.

With that intimate little job done, she pushed herself up off him, although she remained tethered to his body via her still rather hard dick. Rolling him onto his side, she gently lowered herself down beside him so that they were both lying with their heads at the base of the hospital bed. Her penis had fallen halfway out of him during his maneuvering, but without a word she pulled him back onto her knob and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Her cock had thankfully softened slightly since her orgasm, so while still ponderously large, his asshole was able to recover a little from the beating it had endured today, and comparatively almost felt comfortable. It was still proving to be an effective cork though, so the entirety of Tsunade's record-setting load was continued to slosh around inside him, as his stomach insistently reminded him.

On the other hand, Tsunade's breasts against his back and her breath gently tickling his ear felt pretty great, so he held off for a few minutes before eventually speaking up. "Uh, Granny, what are you doing?"

"This is called spooning, Naruto. It's something lovers often do after they have sex." She spoke with lazy satisfaction, like she was halfway through a case of really good sake.

"Well, yeah, but your dick's still, you know, up my butt." He wiggled slightly for emphasis.

"Mmhmm, so it is. Don't worry, we aren't going to have a second act just yet. I'm a little embarrassed at how out of practice I am; I used to be able to shoot half a dozen times before going soft, but I'm sure with your help I be back in form in no time." She gave him an affectionate squeeze.

He felt butterflies in his stomach at the promise that they would be doing this again, maybe even many more times, but that drew his attention back to the other thing filling his belly.

"I'm really happy to hear that, but my stomach's about to burst."

"Well we can't have that, but I want you to keep all of my load inside you. I designed my semen to be extremely nutritious, and it will help your insides heal up from the battering I gave them."

"But it huuurts," he whined childishly. The thought of absorbing her cum into his body was kind of hot, but he really, really needed to relieve the pressure somehow.

"You're such a baby. Here, let's see if I can do something about your tummy ache." Her left hand, still clad in a latex glove, moved to his stomach and began to rub gently. It felt uncomfortable at first, as it compressed the already pressurized contents of his bowels, but then the ache lessened, and he noticed to his shock that his stomach was visibly growing under her hand, almost as though he was going through a fast-paced pregnancy.

"There," she said with satisfaction. "Your belly will be extremely flexible for the next few hours. Feel better?"

Yes, thanky- Hey, wait!" He turned his head to try and glare at her, but was only able to turn around enough to see her ear. "You could have just done that to my butt and let your dick fit in me easily!"

"Hmm, I suppose I could have, but I think it will be much more fun to train your tight ass to take me naturally, don't you? Would you really want to take a shortcut?"

He turned back away from her. "Hmph, I guess not." He could feel her stifling her laughter.

"Now you can add being the world's number one anal slut to your list of goals," she teasingly whispered in his ear. He just kept his mouth shut and focused on how great her body felt pressed against his.

Soon though, another question began to bother him. "Sooo, are we in a relationship now?" he asked with his usual level of tact. He felt her stiffen slightly against him before relaxing again.

"That's really up to you, Naruto. I'm not... opposed to it, exactly, but I am a lot older than you, and we'll both probably catch a bit of heat if we get found out. If you would prefer this to be a one-time thing, or want me to just help you out when you've got an itch, I'm fine with that."

He knew he wasn't the sharpest kunai in the holster, but a few years of channeling natural energy had given him some pretty stellar skills at reading people, and right now she sounded full of shit. Relishing the feeling of being in control for once, he asked, "I can imagine how some people might try to rip on you for being with me, but how exactly are people going to insult me for dating the hottest woman in Fire Country?"

"I'm older than your mother, Naruto," she said reproachfully, but he could tell his words made her happy.

"Please, don't give me that crap. I can sense people's health when I'm in sage mode, you know. Your technique is a lot more than skin deep; you're going to outlive everyone in the village by a hundred years."

"I could say the same thing of you. Perfectly fusing with the Kyuubi's erased all the damage it ever did to your system and more. I'd be surprised if you don't hit two hundred. Don't you think you'll get tired of an old woman like me?"

He snorted. "Damn, you're even worse than Kakashi about throwing pity parties for yourself. I just said you're about as far from old as anyone can be. Just be honest; do you want a serious relationship with me or not?"

He could hear her sigh deeply, and then she squeezed him tightly enough against her that he was worried he'd sink entirely into her tits. "Yes, you moron, obviously I want this. There's no one on Earth I care about more."

"Good," he said happily, "Then it's settled. From now on we're girlfriend and boyfriend."

Tsunade groaned behind him. "Let's just say we're lovers. 'Girlfriend' makes me feel like I'm fourteen."

"Aww, don't be like that, Granny, I've never gotten to call someone my girlfriend before!"

Now her grip tightened to the point of being painful. "Naruto, I believe I've made my feelings on that particular term of endearment very clear." Oh gods, he couldn't breath. "I could just barely tolerate it when you were a pint-sized brat I had to look after, but if you keep using it, I am going to have to come up with some truly humiliating punishments to convince you otherwise. Unless you want to be left tied up in a public men's room while trapped in your sexy jutsu, you will not use that name again, understand?"

"Yes, okay, you got it!" he gasped with what little breath remained in his lungs. Her arms relaxed slightly.

"Fuck, I wouldn't even mind being called Mommy if you're up for some roleplay, however, when we are in public, I expect to be addressed by my name at the very least. In private you can get a little more creative. Sound acceptable?"

"Totally. I'll never never use, uh, that name ever again."

They lapsed into another comfortable silence, until once again Naruto was nagged by another stray thought. "Hey, will us dating cause any problems when you nominate me to take over for you?" He knew he deserved the position, and was pretty sure most of Konoha agreed with him, but he was sure there were some old bastards who would raise a stink over her nominating her lover to be her replacement.

He felt Tsunade stifle a yawn against his shoulder. "If you were anyone else it might, but aside from being adored by both the shinobi and civilian populations, you're pretty much inarguably the most powerful shinobi in the world, and friends with almost every other S-ranked ninja on the continent. No one else is even being considered, and anyone who tried to compete with you would probably get laughed out of town."

She rested her head on his back for a minute, clearly contemplating something. "That reminds me; stay away from Mei Terumi. That poison-spitting bitch has been making goo-goo eyes at you every diplomatic meeting since the war ended, and I don't like it.

"Do you really think I'd cheat on you?" He was more amused than anything. Like he'd ever find a woman that aroused him half a well as she and her bull cock did.

"Of course not, but you're mine now, and I don't like other people eyeing things that belong to me. You're going to find I can be a bit possessive like that. If she doesn't back off, I might have to bend you over in front of her just to make things clear."

Her head slipped off of him, and when she spoke next her words were slightly muffled by his hair. "Now go to sleep, I sent the nurses home for the night and we have five hours until the morning shift comes."

Feeling enormously satisfied with how the day had turned out, Naruto followed her command and allowed himself to drift off, her semi-hard length now a comfortable weight in his colon. He slept peacefully until he was forcefully shaken awake by Tsunade a few hours later, who wanted a morning quickie before they snuck out of the hospital and back to her place.