[82.4] A Childless Parent

[Author's note: This part of the chapter is back to Reika's perspective.]

…A few hours earlier…

I arrived at the Macabre Forest and nodded to the villagers. I ignored their looks of pity as I made my way to the medical matriarch while carrying Astra. 

I entered the hut that Bale had been treated in, wincing from the smell of incense hitting my nose.

I've never liked this smell.

The Matriarch was beside Bale's bed sleeping but woke up at the sound of me entering. She had bags under her eyes as she stood up, "Great Fairy… It's good to see you again."

I nodded back to her, "Have you been sleeping lately? You look exhausted."

She let out a soft sigh, "Whether I get sleep or not, it doesn't matter."

"What do you mean?"

"It's the runes." She held out her arm that had been tattooed with them, "While it gives us the ability to heal and even cure curses, at the end it's still Holy Magic."

"I thought you said it wasn't harmful. Rose was even tattooed by Koa-"

I couldn't finish his name and shut my mouth.

"It's not harmful right away… The longer you live, the more it eats away at you. However, you don't need to worry about Rose. The quantity is minimal so she would at most feel occasionally itchy. It's not like the Runes which are created in a way to give our powers heightened strength at the cost of our lives."

I suddenly realized the Matriarch I knew was her granddaughter in the future.

My heart ached at this thought, "Then… Eventually, you will…"

She walked over to tap my shoulder comfortingly, "I ultimately decided to take this role to help my family and those in need. I always knew what was to be my fate… So don't make that face."

I lowered my eyes, "In this time, I have thought of you as my friend. But I know nothing about you. Not even your name."

"As the matriarch of my family, I don't need a name." She chuckled at my expression, "Yet if you need it so badly, you can call me Sali. I can't give you my family name, I hope you understand."

I laughed, feeling like my chest was a bit lighter, "If you had, I would have been put in an awkward situation."

She smiled at me then looked back at Bale, "He still hasn't woken up. Some wounds remain, but there has been no issue with treatment. I can't say why he isn't waking up, nor can I say if he ever will."

"That's why I came up with an idea." I nodded and pushed Astra in front of me, "We are going to go into his dreams and wake him up."

Astra looked up at me curiously, "You think I can get him to wake up?"

"It's worth trying." I bent down to her, "So? How about it? Would you like to try?"

Astra anxiously looked at Bale, then back to me. She lowered her gaze shyly, "I can try."

"Good girl." I ruffled her hair and then brought her over to him, "I'm not sure what we will see inside his dreams. If it gets too scary, just end the dream."

She held my hand and gave it a squeeze, "It's not scary if Mama is with me."

I nodded in encouragement to her as I took my seat with her on my lap. Astra placed her hand on each of our foreheads and as I closed my eyes, I allowed myself to be pulled into Bale's dream.

Astra appeared beside me just in time for the assault of blood to hit my nose. I quickly shielded her eyes, but luckily there was only a smell and no corpses around. Confused, I walked through the dark area until I saw a mirage in the distance. As I walked to it, the scene around me was suddenly created, showing a small cabin overlooking the ocean. My heart felt a sharp pain, bringing tears to my eyes.

I ignored it and pushed forward, walking to a tree overlooking the gentle sea.

I raised my head to look up at the tree branch, "Bale…"

Bale was perched on it with his knees pulled to his chest and his back to me. He stared over the horizon, not daring to look down at us. He muttered in a low voice, "They attacked me first."

I tried to push down the painful emotions brewing in my chest and waited for him to continue speaking.

"Koale… Lovi… I didn't see… What happened to them… Are they… Okay?"

I bit down further on my lip, ignoring the metallic taste filling my taste buds. Astra wanted to look up at me, but I kept her head buried in my chest.

A sorrowful chuckle cut through the silent wind, "I see… I thought so."

My arms embracing Astra wrapped tighter as my body started to tremble.

His voice was hoarse as he fought back tears, "I failed… I failed as a father… As a brother in law… I failed… I failed Lovi."

"Bale." My voice cracked, "Don't say that."

"But it's true isn't it!?" He burst into laughter as tears streamed down his cheeks, "I failed astronomically!!! I was supposed to be the protector!!! I was supposed to keep my family safe and I FAILED! I got attacked before I even realized we were SURROUNDED! I am the one with the good nose so HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW!? All it took was one moment! ONE MOMENT of carelessness for me to lose EVERYTHING!"

"Bale!" I shouted as the world around us shook violently, "It wasn't your fault-"

"-You don't understand. You don't know what it feels like!"

"But I do-" My voice cracked as I felt an ache from an imaginary wound, "I may not know what it's like to lose your soulmate, but I understand what it's like to lose a child…"

I felt an ache in my stomach as tears rolled down my cheeks, "There's a reason why there is no name for a parent who lost a child… It's because all that pain and misery can never be put into words. It will drain every hope and dream you ever had. You will never be the same again and you'll never want to be. It acts like a poison, corroding your veins and destroying your heart. That kind of loss will kill you…"

Astra looked up at me, her eyes glistening, "Mama…"

His voice suddenly turned frigid, "Leave…"

A pained expression covered my face, "Bale-"

"LEAVE!" 

As he screamed, the world around us started to crack. Astra tugged on me, "It's not good to stay, Mama."

I nodded back to her and went to walk to the golden door, but hesitated.

"Lovi wouldn't want you to stay like this." I turned back to him in determination, "She would have wanted you to get revenge… And when you feel like getting it, then come find me. I will be waiting."

Although I didn't want to leave him behind, I knew his mental state was on the verge of collapse. I had no choice but to walk out through that golden door. As soon as I did, I woke up in my body holding Astra. My cheeks were drenched with tears so I quickly wiped them, ignoring the worried glance of Sali. 

I stood up and went to the door, "If he wakes up, he wakes up. It's up to him now."

I left both Sali and Bale behind, carrying Astra tightly in my arms. As soon as I left the room, Bale's eyes opened. His eyes remained staring at the ceiling with a dull and lifeless expression.

As I clung to Astra and walked to the barrier, her eyes started to close.

"Mama's smart…"

"I'm not that smart."

"You're right… Mama's dumb…"

My face twitched, "Oi."

She rested her head on my chest and drifted off to sleep, "-Because Mama doesn't take her own advice."

I glanced down at her in surprise but found she was already fast asleep. I let out a sigh and stepped out of the barrier to return home.