Ah, I finally understand [2]

"Pathetic, isn't it?" 

As I mumbled those words, I turned to face the people in the seats across from me.

My throat tightened as I felt the gazes of the people in the room. 

Their gazes...

They felt rather suffocating. Especially when I met the gazes of Ryan and the others that were close to Smallsnake. I felt a deep sense of guilt when I saw the pained expression on their faces. 

A part of me felt responsible for this mess. 

It wasn't just that. As I spoke, memories of Smallsnake started to resurface inside my mind. Each and every one of them caused me to experience intense anguish.

Time stood at a standstill, and a great sense of wariness washed over me. Enough to give me the impression that my body had completely lost all of its vigor.

'...I look pretty pathetic, don't I?' 

I lowered my head and stopped speaking.