The choice

(Misaki)

In all the years I spent trying to sneak away and out of the palace walls, I was overjoyed to see them finally come into view now. The faint yellow lights from the lit lanterns swam across my skin.

Amaterasu placed us in a boat on the calm steaming waters of the Itsukushima shrine in Hatsukaichi. A man with an oval shaped straw hat, wider than his entire body, dressed in long black layered robes stood at the helm of the Tosa Wasson. He did not speak as he navigated the boat smoothly downstream. The black linen that draped over his hat covered his face and blew lightly with the wind. The dark sky held no stars and no moon but was surprisingly bright. Chi sat beside me on the narrow bench, quieter than he'd ever been. I glanced down at our intertwined hands and gave them a light squeeze, His returning one was immediate and a cold space in my chest warmed. The moment Amaterasu left us; his body remained tense. He kept his eyes sharp and aware per usual and slowly got to his feet as the boat neared a soft spot in the land up ahead. He lept out of the boat into the water and held out his arms. My hands slid to his shoulders and his spare arm took my feet out from under me. His face came so desperately close to mine that my heart stopped for a moment. His eyes narrowed and his jaw tilted to the side as his lips came just within range of mine. My hands tensed around his neck with anticipation of the kiss. My mind fleeted back to when I first kissed him. The heat of passion that consumed us both. The feelings that revealed themselves fully to me within my turmoil exploded into fireworks in those moments. He pulled my body closer to his and my hair even barely touched the water as he worked his way out, finally setting me down on dry grass. His hands took hold of my cheeks and his cool lips met my forehead. We said nothing as my hands wound around each of his arms. A small hiss left him, and he backed away. His hand took hold of mine again as we walked the trail from the forest. Before We exited a small thicket into town placed on what I only saw in drawings was a half demon mask that only covered the mouth.

"Stay close to me Kitsune. Keep your head down."

he did not let me out of his sight as he looked quietly through the small town before finding a small fish stand. He tapped the counter and a tall burly man with a full silver beard and harsh scars on his face turned to face us.

"What can I get you? The catfish is fresh today!"

"I'll take your horse," he said.

What has gotten into him? This man could crush us both! But Chi was all surety and a cocky smirk beneath the mask. The man slammed his fish fillet knife down on the cutting board and crossed his huge arms. "and what makes you think that?"

Chi smiled again. "Because you owe me, Yasuke."

I peeked around Chi's shoulder and as the name was spoken the hard look on his face changed."

"Who are you?" he asked softly.

"Chi Matesunei."

He took a step back and shook his head. "Well I'll be…" "You look exactly like Sensei. You are that eager Minimoto."

Chi chuckled. "It is my eagerness that saved your life."

"So, you've come to collect the debt."

"Yes," Chi answered. "I would stay and have a chat old friend, but I have a current engagement. Your horse?"

He eyed Chi for a moment before his eyes shot me. They

widened a fraction with recognition and then his face returned to its blank state. "Around back."

As we moved to go around the side of the stand, I heard the man murmur to Chi that he was sorry about his fathers passing.

A brown young mare stood nibbling on wet hay as Chi patted her neck and swung his leg up and over her. He held out his arm and pulled me up behind him. He tightened up the reigns and the mares head went up. He turned her around and we took off at a quick gallop down the wet dirt road that led to the palace.

We rode for a half hour until we were met with stone under hooves, a sure sign that we were close to the palace gates.

"Yameru!" the guards shouted when we came into view. Chi did as he was told, drawing the horse up.

"What business do you have here?!" the guard shouted.

"I am the Samurai issued to guard the royal family! I have found her royal highness!"

The doors slid open quickly and we picked up stride again. The general came barreling out with several men behind him. "Your highness!"

They all hovered around us and the men pulled at me, trying to get me inside. "Please come with us princess! Your father has been worried sick!"

All their words faded from ear as I watched Chi-san. His jaw was tight but when he looked at me all his features softened. There was something hidden in his eyes, but he didn't look to me long enough for me to discover what it was.

"I want to stay with you," I mouthed,

His smile was small and withdrawn. "Its alright. I will find you soon. Go and see your father…"

His hold loosened on me until my hand no longer resided in his. The guards pulled me down the long hallway as my heart plummeted to my feet. Why did I feel that our troubles were not yet over?

When Osa arrived at my rooms she was so elated and relieved to see me that she sobbed on my shoulder happily. I patted her back and leaned into her. I had missed my silent lady as well. I silently thanked her for her concern. She offered to bathe me, but I stole the sponge from her eager hands and reassured her that I could handle washing my own body.

"I will finish soon and then you can assist me in dressing, thank you Osa."

She bowed many timed before leaving the room and leaving me to myself. The hot water was welcomed, and my muscles loosened in it. As I used the soft sponge to clean the dirt and blood from my skin, I relived the terrifying moment when Susanoo ripped my eye from my body. It must have all been an illusion but there, in that moment, even the ones where I lay clutching at the hole felt real. A sharp pain shot behind my eye and I jumped hard making the water slosh about the basin and spill on the floor. I scrubbed my skin vigorously before it turned red and irritated.

Amaterasu's proposal sat untouched in my head. Could I go

back to not knowing the truth of things? I'd been so oblivious to it all in the beginning. There was a sort of freedom in not knowing things beyond you. But did I want to forget? Did I want to forget the feeling of seeing Chi cradling me in his arms after seeing nothing but shadow? Did I want to forget the kisses we shared at the edge of Yomi? Could I forget the sacrifice my mortal mother made in bringing me into this world?

Amaterasu left me three days to make my decision. She'd told me that I would have to stay with her for a time, but she gave no word on not being able to return. But how long was for a time? Was it the span of a human life for I'd heard that the span of a human life was but a breath to the gods? Was I destined to never see my father or these walls again if I chose Amaterasu? How could I leave my father alone here? He'd always had me.

As I allowed Osa to dress me in my cream and black under robes, faithful Tabi socks, thin Obi, and long sweeping Kimono I pondered over my two choices.

And what of Chi? I could not and would not leave him. He had stolen a part of me with his charisma and refined nature. I cherished his teasing, his ability to write more neatly than even my instructor, his loyalty in protecting me, his ability to know my mind, and the love in his eyes when he looked at me. All those things drove me to him even now as I knew we were in the same palace but rooms away, felt right. I'd never felt love outside of familial. I'd never kissed a man and had him kiss me back so fervently as Chi did. He was the confidant I

never expected to find when he arrived. My hands began to sweat with the thought of his smirk and my cheeks grew pink.

As Osa was finishing through with brushing my hair a knock sounded at my door. She rushed to open it.

The air changed when he entered. It became alive and thick, making it hard to breathe properly. His voice was lustrous and fluid. It was so different from when we were inside of Yomi.

"Thank you Osa, you may leave."

She nodded to him and backed from the room.

I watched in the mirror as he neared me, eyes alight mischievously. He stopped behind me, his hand gracing my cheek. My lips parted and I leaned fully into his caress.

"Do you know how long I have wanted to be able to touch you?" his voice was airy and light.

"Enlighten me…"

"Since that wretched day you made me climb that mountain to those springs." His smile spread ear to ear and his perfectly aligned teeth only made him more handsome. His skin was clean now too and he looked more like the boy I met weeks ago; aside from the light stubble gracing his chin.

I liked it. He looked older, wiser in a way. How could we not be after everything that happened?

"Wretched huh?"

He picked up my brush and began brushing the bottom of my hair. Watching his strong frame handle the hairbrush in one hand and my hair in the other was almost comical.

"Oh yes dreadful. And you undressed with no fear of being seen, nearly causing me a heart attack."

"Its inappropriate!" I mocked.

We laughed together for a time before he set down my brush on the mantle.

"How long were we gone?"

"Three days. Your father would like to see us in his chambers."

I got to my feet and suddenly we were that close again. I could smell the sweet honey water on his breath. He held out his open hand with an open smile. "Come Kitsune."

I placed my hand in his. "Lead the way tao."

(Chi)

To see her as I was used to… unscathed, absent scars, grime, blood, and fear, my heart palpitated at the sight of her. I held her hand tightly as we traveled down the familiar long hallways.

When she'd been laid off by the guards the general had questioned me rigorously. He was disappointed when I told him that I would only speak to the Emperor on what had happened. He had no choice but to concede and set the meeting. The entire palace was buzzing with news of Misaki's return and questions of where she had been. I was not sure what the Emperor would tell the people but as we traveled to his quarters, I tried to enjoy the moments I had left with her. Three days would pass quickly and no matter the decision Misaki chose to make, I would forget ever holding her hand at the end of the third. Amaterasu had been clever. She'd known what the blade would do to

me, and she knew that I would not care about the consequences of my actions if it meant saving Misaki. She knew my heart and even before I had and staked her odds on it. A bit of me loathed the goddess for her sneakiness but I also had to conclude that Misaki would be safer if I weren't around. But I'd just found these emotions and now I had to fight to contain them, to quell them. If I had come to know Misaki at all I knew that if she chose Amatuerasu it would be because she would never put her father or her country in danger. She loved both dearly and I felt the fierceness of that love as she extended it to me. I vowed, internally that for the next three days I would love her as I wanted to. I would hold nothing back in the hours or the minutes given. I would make the most of Amaterasu's frame of time. And then i would say goodbye…in hopes that I got to see her again in a future not so distant from now. I prayed that my mind even though plagued with disease would not forget her sweet smile.

We arrived at the Emperors door and the guards pushed them open, beckoning us to enter the rooms. I tucked Misaki's hand behind my robes as I brought us hip and hip, holding onto her hand.

Her father stood a few feet away pacing the floors before looking up and relief flooded his face. He moved quickly wrapping his arms around his daughter. She sobbed as she tucked her face in his shoulder. I tried to pull my hand free, but she would not allow it.

"Chichi."

"Darin, anata no Kinko!"

"I am safe Otosan, Chi kept me safe."

A bitter taste filled my mouth. I had not kept her safe but in harms way. I could tell even in the smile she wore that what happened to her in the dark still plagued her. Casting my eyes closed I worked hard to silence the demons voice rising in my mind.

Kill, kill, kill them all! They're blood would make you so happy! Do it?!

A scene flashed before me where Misaki, her father, and the guards all lay dead in front of me. I bit my tongue hard, drawing blood.

Yessss…tastyyyyy.

I yanked my hand free of Misaki, taking several steps back. They truly were not safe around me. The blade would kill them. The blade would make me kill them all! I shook my head hard and rooted my feet to the ground taming the ever-present fire of rage in my chest.

The Emperor focused his attention on me now, still holding fast to his daughter. Bringing my hands together I bowed before his majesty.

"Your highness."

"You have returned my daughter to me. But where…

"Yomi," Misaki answered quietly.

Her father looked to her, perplexed. "the underworld? How on earth did she-"

"Father I am…"

His sigh was one of sadness and understanding. "I know very well my dear, that you are the goddesses child."

Misaki blanched.

"When I first came to you with her dreams…that is why you let me go with no explanation…" I commented. He nodded in agreement to my revelation.

"When you showed me what she had written, I knew something amongst the gods was happening."

Anger rose to Misaki's face as she addresses her father. "You knew all of this father? Why did you not tell me!"

"My child please understand that it was your mothers wish. She knew that you were a blessing to us. She had always been more in tune with the gods than most. But she though that if we kept you here, not knowing your true history that maybe we could shield you from quarrel. Your mother knew that getting mixed in the gods troubles would bring you nothing but hardships. She made me swear to her before she passed that I would not tell you. That I would keep you hidden as best I could. I promised her…but the truth has found you anyway. I am sorry my lotus. My intention was not to hurt you."

She he'd been fighting to protect her the entire time. He tried to shield her from the gods. "Susanoo and Tsukuyomi stole her from the space between the living and the dead. Amaterasu had summoned her, trying to warn her but it was too late. She then summoned me and gave me instruction on how to reach the princess. It took me longer than I would have liked."

"Nonesense!" Misaki spoke out. "If not for Chi Otosan, I would not have made it back. The brothers would have killed me."

The Emperor turned to me and bowed! It was entirely unheard of for a king to bow to one beneath him.

"You saved my daughter Samurai; I owe you everything."

I waved him off. The voices were shouting louder, and I was afraid that I would not be able to hold in the clawing pain much longer. "It is my job your majesty. I am sure you two have much you would like to catch up on," I bowed quickly. "I will take my leave for now."

I turned quickly to go, sweat on my brow, Misaki's cool hand found my searing hot one.

"But Chi-san…"

"I will wait for you outside your highness, not to worry."

But there was worry on her face. Immense worry as I smile faintly and departed the room. Once the door was closed behind me, I took off down the hall and did not stop until crumpling to the ground in front of my door. I could hear nothing, but the voices and I was beginning to itch for blood and the suffering that accompanied. Slamming my palms against my temples I ground my teeth hard. The buildup sat in my chest until air whooshed by my face and instead of being outside my door, I was in my room. Sliding up my sleeve I saw the veins pulsating and black smoke seeping from my pores. It was all happening to fast. I needed to hold on for three more days. Three more days until I had to say goodbye. I fell over, wreathing on the floor as painful tremors and heavy sweat consumed my body. I could not let her see me this way. I could not let her see me this way.

(Misaki)

I sat with my father for a long time. I told him of Amaterasu and the choices she left me with. We sat for a long while beside one another.

"What would you like to do?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "I don't want to leave you Otosan…"

His hand found mine and he placed one on top of the other. "My darling, you have always wanted more than to be a kings wife. You were born to rule. But what if you were meant to rule something bigger than you and I?"

Tears stained my cheeks. "But what if I go and I never see you again?"

He pulled me close, into a tight embrace. "We will see one another again my Misaki. Either in this life, or the next. I will always be with you. Whatever you decide, I will support."

He kissed my forehead, ending his words and climbing to his feet.

"Now! We must have a feast! In honor of my daughter's safe return from abroad to discuss trading routes."

He winked before departing the room in search of the maids. My heart ached as I watched him go.