Chapter Twelve

Sasha paused in front of the mall watching as people went in and came out. Most went in empty-handed and came out hands filled with a shopping bag. She took a deep breath and gave herself the pep talk she usually gives herself. Don't buy more than is your list. Do not heed their calls no matter how seductive and cajoling they try to make their voice.

To avoid the temptation she brought out her earbuds and stalk it into her ears raising the music so high that no sound can penetrate she walked into the mall to begin her new year shopping.

She walked where the carts are heaped and stretched out a hand for one only to meet up resistance, she looked up to see a female hand holding on to the other end of the cart, she looked towards the face that owns the hand to see the mouth moving. Being that her ears were plugged she had no way of hearing what the woman was saying.

"What? " she said louder than she intended drawing weird looks from the shoppers including the woman facing her who shook her head at her like she is crazy before going for another cart.

Sasha shrugged off the woman's action proceeded with the cart towards the goods. She brought out the list she had meticulously prepared to fit into her budgets and started selecting the things she needed one by one off the table.

"I will really go well with the Varnishkes you want to make, " a masculine voice reached Sasha's ears, penetrating through her loud music like it wasn't even there

Don't look, don't make it believe you are interested she told herself, keep walking.

"Don't pretend you can't hear me, " the voice came again.

Sasha stopped and walked back to the speaking wine bottle, "I can hear you but I am not interested. " She moved to leave.

"I am easily affordable and very attractive, " the wine bottle said again.

That's definitely true, Sasha thought taking out the Abran _ Durso wine, from the counter, ignoring the other bottles trying to get her attention as well.

The bottle was richly designed in black. Attractive and eye-catching it was, but affordable not to Sasha's budget, I mean the wine cost about two thousand rubles which will consume a chunk out of her budget.

"You don't need," this her inner voice scolded her trying to get her to keep back the wine and continue her shopping, at the same time the bottle spoke up trying to pitch its own merits. Their voices rose high in Sasha's head giving her a headache. "Will the both of you shut up! " she yelled.

Sasha breathed out a sigh of relief when the bottle and her conscience shut up. She felt stares on her and looked up to see a couple and their children staring at her like she is crazy, Sasha's face turned red, and in her bid to escape their stare she dropped the bottle in the cart and hurried away.

"Yes! " the bottle exclaimed in victory.

Done with food shopping, Sasha moved to the clothing section, Immediately she arrived all the dresses, hats shoes started calling out her name. She ignored all their sales pitches forcing herself to move on to the children's side as she wanted to get some new clothes for her son and daughter.

As she walked along the rolls of hung up children clothes, she ignored their calls looking for the one within her budget, as the wine had already cost her enough, Sasha wants to be careful here. She won't allow herself to be tricked into buying anything she didn't want to buy.

"Buy me, I am a good fit for your son. Check me out, " the jeans and shirt hung together cajoled in a small boy's voice as it did a flip tumble before landing to pose for Sasha. She smiled at the clothes theatrics while admiring it. It was an attractive pair and Dima will be pleased to have this she thought fondly in regards to her son.

Her eyes went towards the price tag, and her face went dim as it was more than she budgeted for her son.

"I believe I am being sold for 10% discount cause of the festive, " the clothe cajoled in a convincing tone.

"You can't still afford it, look around there are other nice clothes that are within your price range, " her inner voice tried to reason with her, but Sasha gaze couldn't leave the cloth in her hand as she eyed it longingly, she desired to get this for her son.

Tilting her head she calculated the ten percent discount and was happy it was minimally above her budget level, so she picked up the dress while it gave her a wide grin. She went on to pick a few more casual shirts and shorts for her son and something for her daughter.

Moving towards the counter, a gown caught her eyes. It was so beautiful and elegant, and what really made Sasha walk towards it was that it was silence.

"You can't afford me, " the dress said in a feminine voice, her voice sounding bored and aloof as it faced away from her.

Sasha glared at the dress affronted before going ahead to turn and check out the dress not being gentle with her assessment as it irked her that the dress thinks it's too majestic for the likes of her. Making up her mind to get the dress no matter it's the price, Sasha took it off the hanger and matched towards the counter with other of her purchases.

"Keep me back, I don't want to go with you, " the dress hissed at her, but Sasha ignored her and continued making her way.

"Take me back this instance, " the dress ordered in a royal princess tone almost making Sasha burst into laughter at snoutish tone.

"You are going home with me whether you like it or yes, "Sasha whispered to the dress before dumping it on the counter with the rest of the clothes she purchased.

"A little respect lady, " the dress said with a huff while glaring at her.

Sasha stuck out her tongue at the dress, then smiled sheepishly when she looked up to see the cashier watching her with her eyebrow hitched up on one side.

Shaking her head at the weirdness of some of the customers that pass through her table the girl went ahead to start taking inventory of the woman purchase.

Sasha watched attentively as the cashier computed the prices of the individual clothes while muttering the prices. When it got to the snobbish dress and the young woman said the price, Sasha's mouth dropped open, her eyes wide filled with alarm. "Fuck! she muttered beneath her voice, she was fucked, royally fucked because if she purchases this gown she will literally have little or no money left, and the laughter and I told you so from the dress was not helping at all.

Sasha wanted to go and return it but people have surrounded her and it will look awkward if she was to say she wasn't interested. The cashier will want to know why and Sasha is not willing to disclose that.

Adding up everything, the cashier looked up and the woman to see the woman looking pale and white. "Are you alright ma? " she asked in concern.

The young woman's voice brought Sasha out of her panicking mode. "I am, " she whispered in a low tone.

The cashier gave her another worried look before telling her the overall price. "Cash or card? " she enquired.

"Card, " Sasha said stretching her card out. When the young woman went to take it, she held on reluctant to release it, resulting in the two of them dragging the card. At the young woman what is the problem look, Sasha let go and watched with trepidation as the woman slotted in the card. Every press of the button produces a wince inside of her.

When the young woman was done she stretched out the card along with several shopping bags in the woman's direction. "Thanks for patronizing us," she said to the woman with a wide smile.

Yeah right, you guys just cost me my savings, Sasha thought snatching the bags and cards from the girl's hand and stumping towards the door, her ears now deaf to the calls of everything in the shop.

Opening her car, Sasha threw everything inside, turning to kick her back tire in frustration for once again succumbing to her weakness, banging the door close she walked to the driver's side and drove off in a huff.

At home, Sasha's day was brightened when she saw the smile and joy on the faces of her children when she brought out the clothes she got for them, especially Dima who was so happy with the black jeans and shirt she bought for him.

Sasha went into her room with the gown, bringing it out of the bag she admired it before deciding to try it on. When she did and walked towards the mirror, what she saw looking back at her dropped her mouth. It was so beautiful.

"Don't I know it, " the gown chipped in, her tone arrogant.

Sasha's pleased smile dimmed a little as she tried to imagine where she can wear the gown to.

"You never can tell, " the gown whispered, "you might meet a rich dude that will want to take you out and I will be there to help you impress the pants out off him, " the dress tried to cheer the woman up.

Sasha smiled at her words, before removing the dress carefully.

"Mum, I am hungry, " her daughter screamed from outside her door.

"I will be right there to prepare something for you, sweetie, " Sasha answered taking the dress hanging it on a separate hanger keeping it separate from the rest of her clothes.

Coming out of her room Sasha headed towards the kitchen with her two children trailing behind her.

"Mum I am hungry too," her son said climbing to one of the stools in the kitchen while her daughter climbed the next. Sasha faced the cooking section to make a light lunch for her family.

It was new year's eve, and the whole street was lit with fireworks. "Be careful, " Sasha yelled out to her children who were outside shooting fireworks while she prepared their dinner. She was making kasha for their dinner, done with the finishing touches she called to her daughter to come help set the table.

"I wanna help too, " her son yelled running after his sister.

"Wash your hands before you touch anything," she instructed her children.

"Okay Mummy, " they chorused rushing towards the sink to wash their hands, where a fight ensued as to who will wash first.

"Dima let Lada wash her hand first, are you not a gentleman, ladies first, " Sasha yelled to her son.

"But mum she is not a lady, " he whined.

Sasha with her daughter rolled their eyes at Dima. She is a female and as a male, you should always allow the girls first, Sasha scolded her son gently while her daughter stuck out her tongue at him.

"I miss da, you two always gang up on me, " her six-year-old son complained folding his hand across his chest.

Her daughter who was about to wash her hand paused and drew her twin into her arms when she saw the tears welling up in his eyes.

"You can wash first D, " she whispered softly "and I and mama will not gang up on you again. And I miss da too."

Her two children clung to each other, while Sasha watched on with tears in her eyes too. She too misses their father whom she lost a year ago to gastric ca. The doctors had thought it was a stomach ulcer by the time they realized that it was something different it was already too late cancer had metastasized to different areas of the body. Olev had fought to beat cancer for their sake but had lost the battle at the end.

Moving to her children she hugged them both. "I miss your papa too Dim, but I know where ever he is he will want you to protect and respect your sister, and that means letting her do some certain things first, " she explained to her son.

"Do you think Da is angry at me now? " her son asked in a low whisper.

"No baby, he is proud of you because he knows you are a fast learner. "

Dima smiled brightly at his mum and sister, "from now on L I will always let you first and I will also protect you and mum, just like da would have done if he was here."

"That is my son, " Sasha said in a proud tone pulling her into her arms again, with a kiss to his head she released him to wash his hands. Which he waited for his sister to finish before washing his, and in harmony, the two got their table ready for dinner.

When they were done setting up the table, Sasha came out with the big bowl bearing their food and also other side dishes she had prepared along with the Varnishkes.

When they all settled down, Sasha poured the wine she bought in last shopping into her glass and was about to pour juice into her children's cups when her daughter interrupted her.

"Mum, why can't we drink what you are drinking? " Lada asked eyeing her glass swirling with the black liquid.

"Because you are not a grown-up, " but seeing the pout on her face she compromised. "Alright, I will let you guys have a taste, " she said causing her children to smile at her. She poured the juice into their different glasses before dishing out their meal.

Middle of the meal, Sasha got lost in her mind as the thought of her current financial predicament filled her thoughts. She was going to need to get another job if she was going to meet up with her family needs this new year, cause she just squandered the little money she saved up a few days ago.

"Mum can we have a taste now? " Lada asked reminding her of her promise and pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Sure baby, " Sasha said, passing on her glass for each of them to taste. Their squeezed up face in distaste of the wine made Sasha laugh.

"I don't think I like this drink, " Dima spoke up washing his tongue with his juice.

"Me too, " Lada added following her brother to drink her juice as well.

After dinner, Sasha took her children outside where they lit up more fireworks till it was midnight.

"Happy new year guys, " she said to her kids hugging them to her side.

"Happy new year mum, " they both chorused together returning her hug.

With her children in her arms, Sasha made a promise to fight her spending urges this coming year.