Can't Sleep

They are asking my name.. and tell me that I really going to be performed..

" I don't think Bailey this is good idea.. we have to drop it.." I tell her. But she shush me up..

" dont be ROSE.. you are going .. no matter what.. without knowing how you dance how can you judge by yourself.. give chance to people and decide them they like it or not.. you are good or bad.. now ready for that.. I am telling your name to her.." she said.. and I just nodded..

I am nervous.. dancing solo front of all people.. and not the people.. who they are best in this.. I hope I am not going to give them to laughed on me..

I hope I will do well.. and maybe or maybe not.. Bailey right about it.. maybe I think to much.. I have to give chance them to tell me.. I am good enough or not..

" so you're doing it right.." Keith said to me.. and Bailey hoping that my one and only answer it yes..

And I smile and nodded.. they both are hug me.. and tell that girl that I am going to be next.. for dance..

Just think about it that.. there only you.. and you are practicing in our academy studio.. and there is no people only me.. and do it.. feel it dance.. and show them..

Taking breath.. I am ready for do this..

" I am going to be record this girl.." Keith said to me with excitement..

They announce my name.. and I look at girls.. and hug them last time..

"come on you can do this.." Bailey said to me.. and I nodded..

" you will rock it baby..." Keith said.. and I walk to the middle in the stage.. there is all are people who are standing in circle.. and looking at me.. I know for them.. I am new.. but Bailey and Keith both are cheer for me..

I have to do magic that they also cheer for my name.. closing my eye's.. I tell myself..

Let's go it.. and than music starts..

Its kety Perry's song.. 365 song.. and I started to dance.. opening my jacket jeep.. and show them my inner bra.. and started to dance..

The crowd is.. started to cheering me.. and I am happy for that.. and I got more confident and I dance.. and like this.. I complete my dance..

Crowd cheering my name.. my name.. I mean not ava's.. my name.. I mean I am something doing it for myself.. that people knowing me real me.. not her..

It's not that I hate it when people call her name.. it's that.. I feel little happy that.. there is it.. where people know my name.. and they are cheering my name..

In past life.. all are cheering my name in ring whenever I entered to fight.. but they didn't know my real name. They know that I am RED BLOOD.  They know that my name is rose.. and after that.. when I am enter.. I have friend's and all.. but don't have my identity.. they know me and saw me that.. I am ava.. and here.. here I am living my life in real me.. and I am happy that something I did good to myself.. and this one is real one.. for myself.. the real me..

Bailey and Keith both are jump and run to me.. and hug me..

" girl you did well.. I mean  you are looking it crowd.. I mean how they are cheering in your name.. " Keith said to me..

" now tell me.. who's right.. you or them huh.." Bailey said to me.. and I hug her again..

" thank you so much Bailey.. it's all because of you.. if you didn't push me I never know that..." I tell her broking hug..

" I recode your dance.. I will sand you in whatsapp oky.." Keith said.. and I nodded..

After that couple off some more time.. we are stood there and watch other people's dance.. and cheer them.. some people come to me.. and tell me that I am good at dance.. and I thank them..

After that.. we left there..

" I am hungry come on let's eat something.." Bailey said to us.. and we all agree on it..

We are our on way.. than Bailey asked me about again last time what happened...

" so you didn't tell me that you friend's with him.." Bailey said to me.. and we are enter the restaurant and site empty table..

" actually no.. I don't know him.. he had some misunderstanding and he also apologized for this.." I tell them.. they both are rise there eyebrows..

" what.." I tell them.. and like this.. I order food..

" you don't know what you said.. I mean Eric apologized to you.. he never apologized to anyone you know.." Keith said.. both are like my friends.. I mean they like gossip..

" I don't know what he do or not.. but he seriously apologized what he did.. After that I meet he's friend's.. and you know what.. they kinda cool like you guys.." I tell them..

" wow bitch.. I mean.. you didn't tell me this.. and when you are introduced us to them.. I mean I also wanted to hangout with them.. I mean who don't want to hangout with them.. " Bailey said to me..

" after this.." I pointing my food to them..

" I am going to introduce you to them.. " I tell them.. and they both are jump in there site with excitement..

" I love you girl.. you are best.." both said to us.. I laughed at them.. and than nodded..

We eat our food.. and talked more.. like what I do.. and what they do.. I mean we started ro knowing each other.. I told them truth that I am from sports academy.. and they little bit shock about that.. but after that they told me that.. they don't care about it.. it's all they care is.. how I am act and talk with them.. and they think that I am nice girl.. and they like me..

Bailey is straggler dancer.. she try lot's of place.. and also go to auditions.. she said that she didn't selected.. but she still try for that.. she don't wanted give up that easily.. she also do part time job.. for survive.. like Keith..

About Keith... she is writer.. she write book.. I mean write some comics.. but she wanted to write some romantic or crime story.. and she still thinking about it how to start.. and plus she also do part time job in restaurant..

I also tell them.. that I play tannic.. and told them how I like.. how I want to go to play international.. and they both are happy to listing to this..

After dinner we are left restaurant.. and go for party.. where Eric and all are meeting to me..

And the same time I feel that my phone buzzz.. I pull out my phone and see there is text message from Dan..

What he want now.. doing all this shit.. now what he want... I unlocked it and open he's chat..

Dan

Where are you.. I want to meet you for some talk..

Now what he want.. in this time.. I saw this it's 11 in night.. and this time he's texting me..

Me

I am bussy right now.. we will meet tomorrow..

I don't know what he wanted to talk.. but I feel that I don't have to ignore him..

Dan

Tomorrow 7o'clock.. I will pick you up for dinner.. be ready..

Another text from him.. I didn't reply after that..

" whom are you taking.. it's Eric?" Keith tease me..

" no.. it's not him.. and never will be.." I told her..

" and why not.." Bailey said to me.. join us for this conversation..

" I don't do relationship.. if there is something between us.. still I am not ready for that.." I tell them.. and they didn't asked me.. and I am appropriate for it..

" come on.. see they are there.." Keith said to us.. pointing in Conner of table.. where they all are sitting and talking and drinking..

" you know first time in those year.. they all are here.. it's really surprising you know.." Bailey said to us..

" I don't know girl.. let's just go and approach them.." I told them.. and we all are walk there.. and approach them..

" hyy guys.." I said to them with small smile.. they look up to me.. and smile back..

" yoo girls.. come site with us.." Nicky said to me..

" I see you bring friend's with you.." Hannah said to me.. and I just rolled my eyes.. and me Keith and Bailey all are site there..

After that I introduced them to each other.. and I like they are supper friendly.. they fast involved in each other.. and started joking around..

We all are having our fun.. drinking drink.. and just talk about each other like dislike.. and pulling lag's each other's.. like this we enjoy our evening..

I check time once again.. it's 1o'clock.. I have to go to my dorm.. and I will be late.. if I stay some more time.. and I have tomorrow practice.. I don't wanted to ditch more all this..

" oky guys.. I have to go.. I really enjoyed yours company.. I will meet next weekend oky.." I tell them.. and got up to my site.. Nicky wanted to say something but Hannah stop her.. she forget that Keith and Bailey still her..

" yeah.. we all had lot's of fun ROSE.. we will see you Sunday.." Hannah said to me.. and I hug all of them.. even Eric to.. when I hug him.. familiar feeling come and I am started to thinking about yesterday's kiss.. I pulled away.. and than said good bye to them..

It's better not that I am make some distance with him.. or this feeling.. I concerned plan..

Leaving them... I grab myself helmet.. and started to drive..

After half and hour.. I reached academy.. parking my bike in parking lot.. and walking toward my dorm..

The all academy is empty.. seems like all are sleep..

In my on my way to my dorm.. I feel like someone following me.. I little bit hesitate.. I mean I know I will be knocked him down.. but I am not in state.. I am tried.. and also drunk..

I know how I am drive and reached here..

Finally reaching my dorm.. opening my dorm.. get in as fast as I can.. and close the door.. After that I feel little be relived.. taking breath.. I grab my night suites and get shower.. and than lay down in my bed..

Still nothing happened.. I am trying to sleep but I can't sleep.. why I can't.. last time I check when I was at Eric's I sleep there.. how can't I just sleep now..

That time you are drunk.. and you passed out.. that's why you didn't know..

Now I also drunk.. so why can't I just sleep..

That time you drink a lot.. I mean you didn't even walk by yourself.. my inner voice said to me again..

I got up frustratingly.. and grab bottle of pill when I opened it I saw that there is only two pills are left..

I have to go to chemistry and get the pills.. or what will do if I didn't sleep.. where I will go.. I want to sleep.. I just can't stay like this.. or what.. I have to get some alcohol for me.. if that will helped me to sleep.. but it will be going to be addicted.. I have to do something.. I really have to try to sleep in my won..

I got up.. and grab my laptop and on it.. search things.. how to sleep.. what will help me to sleep.. I really wanted to sleep.. I am tried.. I want sleep.. I want to relax my body.. or I will be going psycho.. I don't want that..

Also James also not here with me.. I really have to help myself.. I can't just tell this James.. than he sudden involved in all of this.. he started to asked all question.. what will I answered him..

That I am in involved again this shit.. my past hunt.. and ava's past to.. what I said that I kill man 4 or 5 day's bago.. what I said to him that because of me we lost ava's baby.. that I said with shamelessly.. no way..

It's all to hard.. to frustrating.. and I just wanted to solve them.. and get out of this.. I just can't control myself anger..

I will going to be mad.. I have to do something before I become...