ILLUSION

I GASPED AWAKE. Flashes of the night ran through my mind. Us driving home. My head throbbing. Me dropping to the floor.

I pulled away from her, giving us a few steps of distance. She frowned, and I wondered why. But I couldn't bring myself to ask.

I dug inside my pockets, rubbing the thin paper through my fingers as they met.

"What's this?" she asked as I placed the several hundred dollar bills in her palm.

"Money." I responded flatly, my voice blank and empty.

"For what?" Her eyes filled with surprise and another emotion I couldn't quite place.

I exhaled sharply, as if it would release the tension building inside my chest.

"You need to leave." I stated coldly.

Her eyebrows scrunched together, fury written across her face for a flicker of a moment until a mask of worry replaced it.

"Why?" she sputtered, as if the word was poison.

Just leave.

I shrugged.

"I'm not good for you." I said truthfully, although my voice cracked at the end.

She stayed, of course.

"Leave." I demanded, though there was no point of accusation in my voice. I couldn't compel her to leave.

Not unless I wanted her to.

I knew I was being selfish. That if I wanted to protect her, if I wanted her to live a long, normal, human life, that if I truly loved her, that I would let her go.

But demons were selfish, dangerous beings.

She made the point of crossing her arms over her chest, just as she did when we first met in the run-down, greasy gas station.

"I shouldn't have come back here." I whispered to myself, my body rigid, back stiff as I forced myself to inch closer to her. Her breathing was labored, my eyes darting between hers as I clenched my hand into a balled fist at my side, restraining me from reaching out to touch her face. To run my fingers through her hair.

"Goodbye."

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Even with the thin cotton blankets wrapped over me, I felt oddly cold, as if I was laying on a sheet of ice.

Reaching my hand to the pillow beside me, I ran my fingers along its soft edges, reminding myself that she could never be replaced.

"You say that like I won't see you again," she said the words with such sadness, I would have killed whoever stirred the feeling inside of her.

"You won't."

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Light leaked through the thin black curtains, pastels of warm colors falling from the sky like waterfalls of cherry red and deep orange. My eyes squinted through the rain-dripped window, droplets still clinging to the frozen glass.

I watched the frost as they spread like a spider's web across the frame, the glass splintering under the cold, frigid pressure.

Creak.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice a firm whisper in the pinch of light that filtered through the darkness of the room.

I stepped carefully on the old carpeted floors of my apartment, knowing which step would splinter underneath my foot. Balancing the weight of my body with caution, my ears tingled, as if the ring of silence that echoed throughout the room was a bomb inside my ear.

I shuffled to the kitchen and pulled a knife from one of the cabinets, gripping the black leather handle. Standing near the oak door, my body like a poised creature ready to kill, I turned my hand around the doorknob, clenching my jaw.

I opened the door.

"Aera, I told you to leave." I snarled.

Aera shrugged.

She doesn't remember... But she has to feel something if she came back...

"I hoped we could make a deal," she admitted.

"If I pay half the rent, I'm able to be your roommate. If I stop paying, I stop staying." she said strongly, staring into my eyes daringly.

I groaned.

"Why must you toy with me like this?" I grumbled, hand rubbing over my face.

"Yes. I'll take your deal." I stated after a pause. And although my expression was grim, I could feel the glimmer of happiness inside of me.

"I'll be back." I mumbled.

Then I left.

I pulled the black hood over my bundle of dark curly hair, stuffing my keys in its large, baggy pocket. Slamming the door behind me, I bothered to click the "lock" button on the car's keys, knowing if I came back with a new method of transportation that Aera was sure to get suspicious.

I walked into the gas station, the smell of bleach and greasy food hitting my senses the moment the automatic doors opened.

Walking into the aisle with instant soup and cake mix, I dropped sixteen white plastic boxes of Instant Ramen.

My steps were quiet throughout the soft buzz of crackling LED lights, a cashier's bored snore echoing throughout the ten-aisle stop.

"Hey, Ki—"

My hand squeezed around his rough, muscled throat, cold icy eyes sparkling with humor.

"You came in my apartment, you fucking bitch. What do you want?" I hissed through gritted teeth, annoyance coloring my voice. My body shook, and I pursed my trembling lips in a weak attempt to keep up my strong façade.

His perfect mess of black hair shook as he tilted his head to the side, a childish grin spreading across his clear, snow-colored face.

"I want you," he purred, leaning in even with my hand clenched around his throat. I tightened even harder, finding his windpipe.

"Go to hell," I spat, releasing my already loose, shaking grip.

"Oh, yobo." he slurred, running his fingers along the strict edge of my jawline.

"I'm already there."