Chapter 36

"If there was ever a time you had hope in your eyes then believe me, you're still a father of mine."

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How did everything go wrong?

My last words to Leo were "don't fuck it up". I only got to blow up at him once. I never got to yell at him for all the other times he let us down. I never got to tell him how much I resent him.

This isn't fair.

But life isn't fair, is it? I learned that a long time ago. Life isn't sunshine and roses. Life is a bang and a thump that take a brother away. Life is a mother kidnapped and tied up and traumatised. Life is seeing the father who abandoned you come back into your life with another child and give up his life to save yours.

Life is sitting at a funeral, staring at the coffin and wondering if being dead erases all the pain Leo had caused.

Chris had loved Leo. Chris had waited for Leo. Chris had given up.