Chapter 105: Nela’s Worries

"You know it has been a week since Lord Braydon has returned right?" Father Odom asked Nela as they were walking around what was currently a construction site. They had chosen the site that the school would be located and were now overseeing it's construction. Even if neither of them had any expertise in building, they both had found a great joy in watching it slowly come together.

"Yes, I am aware." Nela said with her usual small smile.

"Then are you not planning on going back? The last time that I checked, you were his main strategist. And if anything he probably needs a strategist right about now." Father Odom raised an eyebrow. Having gotten to know Nela, the only time she usually gave short answers was when she was making fun of Braydon. Otherwise, she was quite detailed in her speech and sharing her thoughts.

"I am sure that there are enough capable people by the King's side." Nela deflected the issue fairly easily. It was at times like this that Father Odom found that it was the most intelligent people that were the hardest to convince that they were not right. They could rationalise everything that they did somehow.

"I doubt that I need to remind you that your father is waiting for your return at the castle. How long has it been since you have last seen him?" Father Odom tried a different way to see what she was thinking. If duty was not going to convince her to share her mind, he would try family.

"At least a few years at this point." Nela technically answered the question but was obviously avoiding what was being asked. And Father Odom could tell that she knew what was being asked. Her light smile had slowly faded from her face, being replaced by a neutral expression. If he did not know that she smiled literally all of the time, Father Odom might have been tricked into thinking that nothing was wrong. But the lack of smile told him that there was most definitely something wrong.

"Do you not think that you should go see him?" Father Odom tried again. This was clearly the part of going back that she was trying to avoid.

"Yes, I should." Nela continued looking at the construction site as they walked through. She was obviously trying not to look at Father Odom as she was being forced closer and closer to what she was trying to avoid.

"When are you going to?" He was not going to let her get away with just that much.

"At some point..."

"Before or after he marches off to battle against an enemy that is more likely to win than lose?" When he asked that, it was like a punch in the gut to Nela. By this point she had stopped walking and Father Odom was wondering if that had been a little too harsh.

*sigh*

"I know." Nela started talking, still not looking at the priest beside her. Father Odom wondered if this was because she was afraid that she would cry or that she knew that she was obviously not being reasonable.

"..." Father Odom decided not to ask any more questions, waiting for Nela to continue speaking. And it was apparent that a bit of time to gather her thoughts was what she needed, releasing another sigh before starting again.

"I know that I should go see him, but I'm afraid." When Nela finally looked at Father Odom, she saw that he was just smiling patiently waiting for her to continue. And that smile was more comfort than any questions or nice words the priest could have come up with.

"I know it is absurd to be afraid to see my father, he has been nothing but supportive of me. Even when he did not have time to see me for weeks at a time, I knew that he was in his study trying to keep things together, especially after Earl Blake tried to force him to accept my marriage to his son." Nela started gushing all at once, slightly surprising Father Odom. Even if she was detailed in her speech, he had never seen her this discomposed before.

"And now that I can see him, unfettered by the troubles that used to keep him busy, unfettered by the troubles that I caused him. I can't bring myself to see him. I know that he would be overjoyed to see me again after so many years. I would be too. It's just, just…" Nela slowed her speech to a stop. For the first time in her life she had run out of words to say, Not rendered momentarily speechless by the unexpected. That had happened before, if rarely. But truly unable to express what she thought and felt.

"I understand." As Nela was getting herself more and more stressed about not being able to convey her emotions properly, Father Odom chose this moment to draw her out of her thoughts. He could see that she would not truly find the words to express herself and stressing herself over it would only make things worse.

"Then what should I do?" Nela asked, for one of the first points in her life, she had no clue what to do. And it was not because of something out of her control. She knew all of the options that lay before her, and all of the likely outcomes that would follow. But still, she could not find the correct thing to do.

"Sometimes there are no correct answers, only the best answers. Matters of the heart rarely come with correct answers. But there is one thing that I can tell you, doing nothing is definitely the wrong answer." Father Odom said as he looked at Nela, who only looked more confused. He knew that she would likely not understand what he meant. It was something that could only come with experience.

"I, I…" Nela could not think of a correct response, but she knew that there was wisdom in Father Odom's words. Even if she could not tell what it was.

"Come, let us go and see how the main building is coming along." Father Odom smiled as he started walking again. Nela quickly picked up her pace to catch up, still thinking about what he had said.