32

It's been past a week, and I haven't shot Lucas a text or call. I don't know what to do. I have different feelings for both of them... And what Lucas told me that I was playing them both makes me feel sick about myself. I didn't notice I was hurting him. For Dalton, he is unaware of what is going on between me, and Lucas. I feel horrible about leaving him in the dark. I have so much complicated stress on my shoulder. I have work in an hour, and I don't feel like going. I want to cry and eat my feelings away.

An hour into my shift, I get a text from Lucas, which confuses me. I wouldn't think he would message me since he told me to contact him when I have made up my mind, and as you can tell, I haven't. He sent me a message of hey and never responded. It bothered me a little, so after my shift, I plan to check up on him.

I get to his house at sundown. I ringed his phone multiple times on the way, but he didn't respond, which spiked up my anxiety. He eventually opens the door after my few pounds on the door.

I look behind his shoulder, seeing alcohol everywhere. "Are you okay?" I ask sincerely.

He leans on his front door with his left arm. "Yeah." He says, sniffing his clogged nose.

I shove past him and helped myself in. "You're not okay. Sit down and talk to me."

He slowly walks to the couch and plops himself down.

I sit myself next to him. "Talk to me..."

He struggles to talk because his crying is preventing him from expressing himself to me. I draw him close to me, and he holds onto me and cries deeply. I wrap my arms around him, comforting him. He sits up, and I wipe his eyes.

"Today marks the 5th anniversary of me losing my girlfriend and child."

My mouth drops like an anvil in the cartoon films. I wasn't expecting that coming out of his mouth.

"He would have been five and starting kindergarten this year." He adds.

"Aww baby, I'm so sorry," I say, hugging him tightly.

He sits up and smiles. "You can ask questions. You don't need to be scared to ask like I was with your brother."

I fidget with my fingers. "Oh, alright... Um, how did they die?"

"They both died at the hospital. Alexa, my ex-girlfriend, died giving birth, and baby Ethan didn't make it. There was something wrong with him, to begin with, and the doctors couldn't do anything about it."

"Come here," I say, bringing him close.

I hold him in my arms, playing with his hair as he cries softly.

"Thanks for coming, Bell, when I didn't leave a hint that I needed you." He says, tracing his finger on my skin.

I smile. "No need to thank me, Lucas."

We stayed in this position for a while.

"Alright up and adam!" I say, getting off his couch.

"Nooo, I was comfortable." He says, reaching for me from the couch.

"We are cleaning up this mess and going to go get food. I'm hungry, and food solves everything."

He plants his head on the couch. "Alright!"

I picked up his cans of beer and threw them in the trash. He picked up his laundry that was laying around everywhere. There were more alcohol bottles that he must have drank in the past because he doesn't seem that tipsy. Before leaving, I made sure he showered. He smelled horrible. We are on our way to get food. McDonald's might be the option due to the restaurant's closing. We found a park to eat our food. We both ordered McNuggets, fries, and McFlurries.

"So... have you uh chose who you want to be with?" He asks me as he dips his nugget in the sweet and sour sauce.

"No... I love you guys both."

"It doesn't work that way, love."

I stick fries in my mouth. "I know..."

"So I was wondering if I can sleep at your house tonight. Being at my house reminds me of them, and it's hard to sleep some nights."

"Of course. Let me text my mom, and we should be set to go if she agrees." I say, pulling out my phone. "Okay, we are all set. Are you ready to leave now?"

"Yeah." He says, gathering the trash.

We made it to my house, and my parents are not home yet. They are at dinner with their colleagues. I get the guest room ready for Lucas.

He walks in the room from using my bathroom. "Thanks..." He says, climbing into bed miserably.

"Goodnight, Luke."

I head for my room to get ready to relax. I get in my short shorts and a comfortable t-shirt. I go in from the outside of my shirt and pull out my bra, throwing it on the floor. I jump in bed, and I send Dalton a goodnight text. He likes going to bed early on some nights. I lean to my side to watch TikToks. About an hour later, I catch footsteps coming in my room. I turn around slowly to Lucas standing in the doorway.

I sit up. "Holy shit, you scared the shit out of me."

"S-sorry. Um, can I stay in here with you tonight?"

"Arent my parents home?"

"Yeah, they are passed out in the living room when I went to get a glass of water."

"Ah, they must have drank when they were out. I mean, I don't see why not... Hop in." I say, thinking of Dalton.

We lay on our sides looking at each other like we use to do in the past.

He closes his eyes. "You are so beautiful."

I get the rush to kiss him, so I did what I normally would do. I act before I think. I joined our lips, and he doesn't hold back. He opens his eyes and holds my face as we heavily kiss. He rolls on top of me and takes off his shirt. I trace my hand on his small muscular chest. He goes in, kissing my neck. I guide him to take off my shirt, but he stops after seeing my cleavage. I take my covers and cover my chest.

He rolls off of me. "I don't have a condom."

I bite my lip. "I do," I say, leaning over to my nightstand and pulling out one.

"Wait, are you not a virgin anymore?" He says, shocked.

I laugh. "Yes, I still am." I pause. "So you got me thinking... How many people have you slept with?"

"A few. I am very picky about who I take in my bedroom."

"You mean my bedroom?" I say, laughing.

"Haha yeah." He says, scratching his neck. "Are you sure? We can wait if you would like. What about Dalton?"

I hand him the condom. "I don't want to wait or think about anything right now." I transfer my body on top of him with my covers wrapped around me. I take my thumb to his lip and slide it down to his chin. I lean close to his ear and whisper. "All I want is you inside me."

He flips me over to my back on the warm bed sheets and rips the condom with his pearly white teeth. "Are you sure?" He questions again.

"Y-yes," I say, with butterflies swarming in my insides. "Just go slow."

He slides his pants down, and I hear the condom go on. I slide off my pants and underwear and toss them wherever. He gets underneath the sheets and finds the spot to go in. I can feel him at the frame of my vagina. He moves his body closer to me and goes in. I grip onto him and moan the softest moan. He grips on my sheets tightly. I wrap my arms and legs around him, and he goes slowly but speeding up the process. I claw my nails in his back when he builds up the speed. He moans, going back and forth. He looks up to my face and stares into my eyes as he goes and out.

"You can go faster and harder," I say, smirking.

He holds my hands above my head and goes in strong. I hear my headboard bang on the wall. He slows down because of that. He kisses me before he lays on his back and rests. He laughs out of nowhere. I look over to him like what the fuck.

"Was that a glow and dark condom?" He says, laughing obnoxiously.

He must have seen it underneath the sheets. I only have a lamp on, so I bet it was obvious.

I laugh sarcastically. "No..."

"No judging here."

I hit his shoulder. "It looked cool, okay!"

He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

I roll over onto him with my head on his chest and my leg between his legs. "That was not what I was expecting."

"Did I do okay?" He questions his skills.

"You should be asking me that. I am the inexperienced one."

"You did good. It would have been better if your parents weren't downstairs. I had things up my sleeves that I have been dreaming of doing with you."

"I bet you have." I look up at him. "Does this answer your question now?"

He looks down, and takes his finger and pushes asides a piece of hair in my face, and smiles.

"What do I tell Dalton? I will end things with him the next time I see him, but I cheated on him..." I get up from my bed. "Holy shit, I cheated on him, Lucas! Ugh, I'm such a horrible person." I say, burying my head in my sheets and crying.

He sits up and brings me close. "You are not a horrible person. You don't have to tell him if you don't want to."

"I will have this pit in my gut, and it will eat my insides. I have to be honest with him if that ends up with me not being friends with him."

"As I think about it, it's weird that I slept with my ex-student girlfriend."

"And ex-student."

"Crazy world, isn't it." He says, leaning back with his arm behind his head.

"Gosh, I can't believe I lost my virginity at 17."

"Shit... I forgot you are not 18 yet. Your birthday is around the corner, and it confuses me. Dalton definitely can't know now."

"He won't tell anyone. I trust him, and who is he going to tell? His friend Robert?"

"You can't. You will just have to tell him that you don't want to be in a relationship but to just stay as friends."

"My birthday is tomorrow, doofus. You are fineee."

"What's today's date?"

"The fourth," I reply.

"Well, damn... I feel so unorganized. I need to get back on track. I think you were my key to helping me because I feel so happy right now. I do not have any pressure on my shoulder."

"Because you finally got to sleep with me?" I laugh.

"I mean... I enjoyed it, but I got you here with me right now, and I won you over." He says, kissing me obnoxiously.

"Okay, okay! You are getting your salvia everywhere on my face!" I say, giggling and trying to get his lips off me.

He stops and smirks. "Don't you like that?"

"Yeah, but let me demonstrate to you how it's done," I say, getting on top of him in a seducing tone. "It's my turn now," I say, kissing his chest gently and making my way below to his waist.