Chapter Twenty-Eight: Haunting Agonies

It was completely dark. Amidst nothing, Ayra stood, quiet and unmoving. 

A dream? She asked the silence. 

Where am I? She asked the silence. 

What am I doing here? She asked the silence. 

What happened? 

Ayra remained there, emotionlessly still. An empty feeling had settled heavily onto her chest. Her heart seemed to ache and her mind seemed to bind her eyes close and conceal them from the truth laid out before her. 

A truth that burned her soul to cinders. A truth that was raw and painful. 

A truth she couldn't run away from. 

Ruhnn. 

"Ruhnn…" she murmured to the still blackness around. 

Memories crashed into her, opening her mind to a cruel realisation. 

"Ruhnn." Her voice turned frantic. 

A feeling of urgency struck at her emotions. 

Ruhnn...she had seen him. He was there, right in front of her eyes. Alive and breathing.

"Ruhnn!" She yelled his name. 

And began running. 

She didn't have the foggiest idea what she was running towards but Ayra hoped with all her heart that Ruhnn would be standing on the other side, waiting for her with a warm grin on his face. 

She needed to see him. 

She ran and ran and ran. However, the darkness continued extending and the ever-present misery started to sprout again. 

Ruhnn wasn't here. 

She began panicking. She kept chanting his name on her lips, hoping to find him standing somewhere inside this dull void nothingness. Like the light at the end of the tunnel. 

But all that was present here was darkness and darkness only. 

Ayra was all alone here. Isolated in a place pocketed between life and death. 

She inhaled out loudly and with her shoulders drooped, she faced the darkness wrapping her in its cruel arms. 

It was dead quiet and all she could hear was her breathing and nothing else. 

Ayra soundlessly fell to her knees. She plunged her head towards her chest and set her palms over her eyes. 

Tears spilled down her cheeks like a ceaseless cascade of despair. 

Ayra had lost him. Again. 

She didn't know how much time had passed. It seemed like a long time before she wiped her tears and straightened up. 

A figure stood before her, veiled under the murkiness around. 

Ayra's form grew rigid and deadly silent. 

"Ruhn.." She whispered, utter disbelief coating her words. 

His face was stone cold and impassive. It was the same expression that haunted her ever since she closed her eyes to the pain. 

Ayra grew slightly breathless. His piercing eyes stared down at her. In the past, she would always know what little Ruhnn would be thinking about. But now, with him standing in front of her, Ayra couldn't help but feel like she was staring at a stranger instead. 

"Ruh--"

Ayra paused when he lowered his eyes and slightly titled his head to the side, assessing her with that joking pair of silver eyes. 

She couldn't help but slightly shiver. The urge to shy her gaze away from his piercing ones overwhelmed her senses but she remained staring at him. Ayra feared that he would disappear if she took her eyes off of him even for a mere second. 

He began to turn away from her once again. Ayra grew alert at that. 

She lifted herself and reached for him but he kept walking. Kept walking away and away from her. 

"Ruhnn, wait--" 

Ayra began running after him with her heart in her throat. 

No. 

No. 

No. 

No. No. No. No. 

Stop. 

Her feet desperately pressed against the darkness. She grew closer and closer to him. 

With her hands stretched out, she pushed forward to grab him by his shoulders. 

Ruhnn--

All of a sudden, an enormous puff of dark smoke blinded her eyes and swallowed him wholly. Ayra helplessly stared as he disappeared right in front of her eyes. 

Her heart thrashed and writhed inside her chest, wanting to tear her apart and scream for him. 

A tear trickled down her cheek and Ayra fell deeper into the darkness. 

ווו×

A steady darkness enveloped her entire body. 

It was pleasant, this darkness. It hid her from the pain. It hid her from the suffering. It hid her from the horror of reality that breathed within the light. 

Ayra didn't have any desire to be blinded by that light yet. Thus, she reposed in the darkness. Away from everything. 

She didn't know how long she slept for but when sensibility began to coax her awake, she languidly allowed herself to rise to the light anticipating her presence.

A voice, delicate and hopeful, reached her ears. 

"Ayra?" 

Her eyes fluttered slightly in response. 

The voice grew a bit louder, brimming with hope and relief. The voice was familiar and warm. She couldn't recognize who it belonged to, her body was numb all over but she knew the torment would collide with her once she awakens fully. 

"Ayra, oh Celestials above, you're waking up." 

Warm hands quickly took hold of her cold ones. 

Ayra clenched her eyes multiple times before opening to the blinding light that greeted her. 

She was sleeping beside a large window, under a thick, cozy coverlet. White drapes drifted over her still body, the breeze from outside entering the room and embracing her gently. 

A face so kind and familiar appeared before her eyes. 

"Ayra…" Mother Danelle's uttered in disbelief.. She tightened her grip and laid her forehead against Ayra's hand. 

"Thank the Celestials above. You've finally woken up. Finally.." Her voice cracked. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face looked dead tired and drained. Ayra's heart clenched at that sight. 

"I thought you'd never wake up, Ayra. I thought you were going to leave me too." She cried silently, still pressing her forehead against her knuckles. 

Ayra's heart broke at her words. Seeing Danelle cry was painful but at the same time, didn't know how to console her.

"I'm..alright..now, Danelle." She whispered and offered a small, hopefully, reassuring smile. 

"Yes, " Mother Danelle smiled. "You're alright now." 

"How...long..was I--" Ayra began slowly and Mother Danelle immediately caught on. 

Her eyes became dismal. "Four days." 

Four days. She had been unconscious for four days straight. 

Her hold fixed on Mother Danelle's hands and she reluctantly started, 

"Valda….Neslyn.." Her voice was hoarse and barely over a whisper but Mother Danelle knew what she was going to ask. 

Her emerald green eyes slowly dimmed and Ayra quickly grew alarmed. A newfound fear conquering her senses yet again.

"I have.. to see.. them--take me to--" 

She began to pull herself up but a sharp, piercing pain ripped through her temple and her torso. It was agonizing and Ayra barely managed to fight against it. She groaned out loudly and lost control of her injured body. 

"Ayra!" 

Hands immediately wrapped around her shoulders and slowly eased her body back into the bed. 

"Danelle, I..have to see...them--"

"Ayra, they are alright." 

Mother Danelle sighed disdainfully. 

"Neslyn, Valda and Cressa found you inside the Ruins, bloodied and unconscious." She swallowed loudly. 

"An explosion blew the Ruins to cinders. Neslyn, Valda and Cressa barely managed to bring you out when it happened. All of you were passed out and severely injured when we found you." 

Ayra's heart stuttered. No. Nothing happened to them. Please, no. 

Mother Danelle tightened her grip on her hands in answer to her internal frenzy. 

"Neslyn and Valda are injured and haven't gained consciousness yet but the healers said that they'll be alright." She smiled sadly. "You three should thank Cressa for that. She protected you three from that vicious blast." 

Relief rushed through her and calmed her nerves immediately. Ayra truly owed the Guardian for that. 

"What..about..the others?"

"Rydan and Aslan were the only ones with major injuries but Neslyn had managed to heal them. They are resting now."

Ayra gulped delicately at Mother Danelle's incomplete answer. 

"The guards didn't survive," Ayra whispered. 

Mother Danelle shook her head, eyes heavy and solemn. 

Ayra closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillow. 

No one survived. Not one. 

They had failed. But more than that, Ayra had lost to her feelings. She had lost to herself. 

A phantom sword pierced and stayed unmoving inside her chest. It was torturous. Hundred of lives lost and all lost because of her. 

If only she would've lifted her sword up in his presence instead of lifting her damned heart. 

If only she had the courage to lay her blade against his throat.

If only. 

It was dead silent before Ayra decided to break it. 

"Tell me everything, Danelle." She whispered. 

"Ayra, you should rest--" 

"I..want to know, Danelle." 

Mother Danelle inhaled deeply. Ayra didn't have enough time to brace herself for what was to come. 

"The First Gate has disappeared--" She shook her head and faced Ayra. 

"The First Gate was stolen, Ayra."

Her spine locked up. 

"What do you..mean?" 

"The Gate is not there anymore, Ayra. It's as if that stitch between our world and the underworld was moved elsewhere. The Gate is not broken however it is not there where it was formed."

"What's more, the body of the Sentinel has also disappeared." 

Ayra loosed a shuddering breath. The empty coffin, the demons standing around it and Ruhnn---

She sighed ruefully and wiped her glasses with the soft fabric of her gown. 

"We are investigating this but we still haven't made any sense to what happened. The motive behind this is hazy but it is indeed threatening. That much we know." 

Ayra didn't speak. 

"Cressa reported us about two Deminus's but she's suspecting more. It's highly possible that there are more than two demons at play here but we don't exactly know--"

"There were six of them." 

Mother Danelle simply stared at Ayra.

"What-"

"There were six cloaked demons inside that Ruins. I saw the empty coffin of the Sentinel but I didn't see the body anywhere." 

"Six of them--" She softly gasped. 

"Ayra, did you get injured while fighting against them? That was reckless. How could you possibly think that you had a chance against six dem--"

"I didn't fight, Danelle." 

She lowered her head, her moon-white hair falling forward and fortunately hiding her shame. 

"I didn't fight at all, Danelle."

Silence stretched before she sighed yet again. 

"Don't blame yourself, Ayra. It is nearly impossible for even a strong wizard like you to fight against six of those wretched beings." 

She smiled softly and reassuringly. 

"Take some rest. We'll talk when you're recuperated and prepared to talk." She stood up and started leaving. 

"I saw him." 

Her voice was barely over a whisper but Mother Danelle heard it.

She paused and blinked at Ayra, a little confused. 

"Ayra, who are you talking about? Saw whom?" She gently questioned. 

Ayra turned her head and faced the ceiling. She clenched her eyes shut. 

"Ruhnn." Her throat tightened at that name. 

Mother Danelle stilled, eyes slowly growing wide with disbelief. 

"What--"

"He's alive, Danelle."

Ayra swallowed. 

"Ruhnn is alive." 

She looked at Mother Danelle's stunned expression. 

"And he is with them," Ayra said, quietly and expressionlessly. She remembered everything. The black-cloaked...demons. The empty coffin of the Sentinel. 

And him. 

These words floated between them, the air carrying the heaviness of it. Words that Ayra couldn't believe. Words that Ayra wanted to crush to non-existence.

Ayra had a lot of questions but the only person who could answer all of them had abandoned her to die. 

She closed her eyes, trying to numb that painless pain that pulsed inside her heart. 

"It's impossible." Mother Danelle breathed out. 

Ayra didn't reply. 

"How--"

Ayra closed her eyes and breathed out. 

"I'm going to find him."

Heavy silence stretched between them. 

"No." Mother Danelle stated, decidedly. 

Ayra looked at her.

Mother Danelle slightly shook her head. 

"You are not going in search of that demon." 

Ayra flinched at that. 

That demon. 

"We don't know if he's a demon--" 

"Ayra!" 

Ayra bit her lip. 

"He is alive, Danelle. My best friend is alive."

"He's with the enemy, Ayra. He is the reason why all those soldiers are dead now. He is the reason why our Guardians are injured! He is the reason why your friends are injured!" 

Mother Danelle breathed in deeply. 

"Ayra, I don't know what you're talking about but you need to rest. Let's talk after you've healed completely and when you're on the right mind to speak about this."

She began to rise. 

"Danelle--"

"Sleep, Ayra."

Mother Danelle left the room. 

Ayra didn't sleep that night. Because every time she surrendered to the darkness, his face would haunt her in her dreams. 

ווו×

Ayra jolted awake. 

Beads of perspiration trickled down her forehead as her eyes wildly stared at the ceiling above her. 

She blinked her eyes multiple times to drag her back to reality.

Another nightmare had tormented her in her rest. This time, she was fleeing from a group of headless Terras. 

Ayra could still feel the way her feet had pressed against the cold ground of that dark abyss. She wriggled her toes under the blanket, trying to get rid of that phantom feeling. 

The wind was calm outside in the night. A calmness that somehow didn't go along with her inner turmoil. 

A steady warmth covered both her sides. Ayra peered down and was astonished to discover Neslyn and Valda quietly sleeping on either side of her. 

She looked at them for quite a while. At their bandaged heads, scarred cheeks and bloodied lips. At their worn out but peaceful faces. 

At their alive and breathing selves. 

They were cocooning her with her arms and Ayra felt truly warm. It was the kind of warmth that spoke about love and protection. 

She laid her head back against the pillow and gently closed her eyes. 

That night, Ayra slept well.