Star-Crossed Lovers

It's been two years since I thought of my life's story.

How would I write it?

How would I tell someone when I was asked about it?

Would it go like this: a. just an ordinary guy who endured the excruciating pain love inflicted in him? b. Someone who over-loved and was not able to get over it when the only love he knew was taken away from him? c. Someone who gave his all to the girl whom he thought was already the one but was left alone later.

Or would it sound better if it goes like this: a. Aspen is someone who believes that someday someone would come back and claim his love. Night and day, he's still waiting.

Even if waiting means it is accompanied by pain. Waiting with uncertainty, but I'm patiently waiting.

I've learned a lot about her. All her favorite songs, which have been part of my daily playlist. Whenever one of her most wanted songs is being played, I would listen to it on repeat. I usually lock myself inside my room and listen to it all day long. I can do this routine almost every day. I never get tired of listening to the songs she used to like. I have tried to play one song using an acoustic guitar. I never listened to my saved music anymore. I know the reason why she loved to drink coffee at midnight; even the days where she chose to stay with her parents or those days where she preferred to be alone at her place. The day when we want to tie the knot, the number of kids we want to have, even the design of the house we will fill with love, are rooted in my mind.

I've read all her favorite books. Every book that she left with me, I constantly read one every night. Trying to remember her fingertips on every page. The last message she had sent, it was still on my phone. I keep on looking back at it every time I want to talk to her, thinking that every five in the afternoon we will see each other again.

See you at five. Love you always, my Aspen.

I want to look at her eyes again. I want to whisper the words I love you to her all the time, so she won't forget how deeply I admire her. If only I could turn back time, I would spend every second of my life with her. I want her back. Badly. I miss her. So much.

I know I am asking for the impossible, but I never felt attached to someone as I was to her. We were not able to talk personally for the last time. She left me in a blink of an eye. We never had the proper good-byes. She was gone but never in my life. She will always remain in me, there's no chance she'll fade into obscurity.

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