I am still me

Alanis. 

He seems to think I will not be able to handle whatever it is he has to tell me. I don't have any problems. As long as I have him, I will be able to handle anything. 

'' I am not worried, Beau. You should just tell me what it is.'' 

Now I know that Jules must have told him something about me after I left. They made it seem like everything was okay and now it seems like things are not actually okay. 

My father's words keep running through my head. he said there was a chance that this would go wrong. Even now, with all the worry in Beau's eyes. I don't have any regrets. If I knew the outcome of the ritual, I would still do it again. The fact that I got the chance to experience all that with him is all that matters. 

''Jules doesn't think we have anything to worry about,'' he is avoiding telling me what it is.

''But?''

He sighs and then runs his fingers through his hair. ''I don't even know how to explain it.''