Chapter 33 - Anal Virginity

"Huff, huff, huff, fuck they're gaining on me" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

I was frustrated at my current predicament.

"Leave me alone! Fuck! Where is it? Where is it? The deposit is supposed to be somewhere around here," I whispered to myself frantically.

I had to whisper so the nearby animals would ignore my feeble existence.

Well, I hate the jungle with a passion right now.

The plants were alive in this jungle. Ever since the release of the T-virus infection, I wouldn't be surprised if the rocks started hissing at me right about now.

The entire jungle had mutated animals that could wipe out entire cities.

I ran through the jungle searching for the rare metal deposit indicated on my scanners.

"Should be right around here," I mumbled.

"Fuck I can't find it," I said frustrated as hell, and stomp the ground with all my might.

I no longer cared if the nearby animals could hear me.

I am beyond pissed at the false information I stole off The Umbrella Corporation servers. I guess that's what you get when you steal too much –eventually, you steal nonsense.

After the stomp, I felt the land below my feet give way as I fell into the depths of the abyss.

Well, it was more like a sinkhole, but it was dark nonetheless.

"Awww fuck! It's been nothing but bad luck since Alice and I broke up!" I thought, sinking into the abyss below my feet

My name is Zeel.

I am a Genius, Miser, Multi-Dimensional World Traveler, who is currently stuck in this apocalyptic wasteland known as The Resident Evil Universe.

Here I found things I never thought possible,

I discovered some of my dormant emotions over the past few years,

Though so far it has been limited to Revenge, Love, and Anger,

Speaking of love,

I even fell in love with a wonderful girl named Alice,

We got married about a year ago,

It was a real rundown sorta marriage that stemmed from a wild night of sex,

but it was amazing nonetheless,

The marriage lasted for about three months before shit went bat-crazy,

A couple of months ago, we had a major argument, Alice wanted to use the clones as suicide bombs basically,

And with my newfound emotions out of control, one thing led to another when we 'disagreed',

One thing led to another, I got kicked out of our home (The Umbrella Base),

Now here I am in the Amazon jungle in Brazil, searching for one of the few metals I have yet to collect,

.... Type One Vibranium.

Over the last six months, I have been all over the world planting cubes that will be of use later on.

Now despite all this talking, I haven't told you all about the life lesson I have learned during these couple of months.

"Never, and I repeat never... argue with your wife. If you're a man reading this then just know your wife or girlfriend is always right, and even if the girls are clones of herself – your wife will still get jealous when you fu*k them,"

This was a lesson I learned the hard way, so if you see clones, just avoid them at all costs.

∞∞∞

*Groan*

"ugh, where am I?" I ask myself, genuinely expecting an answer.

Talking to myself had become a sort of affirmation that I still existed. I was just a socially-starved, borderline insane person right now.

With a genius intellect of course.

I study the environment only to find that I am underground with no exit in sight.

The previous place I had fallen from seems to be blocked by layers and layers of rubble. I can power my way through, but doing so without proper calculations could make matters worse instead of better.

Coordinating myself properly, I begin to explore this new environment with the use of my scanner. My scanner is a Multiversal-Watch that is bonded to my DNA.

It's was still far from completion, however.

"50 meters forward. Huh," I said as I checked my scanner.

Get in and get out was my thought at this moment. It has been six months since I last saw Alice and though we had broken up, I knew it was kind of just a phase we'd go through.

I wanted to explore the world and look for useful materials and Alice seemed to have a deep vendetta against the Umbrella Corporation.

Of course, there were deeper issues at play, I know this was just the surface problems; looking back at it now, I can see my lack of trust was truly the problem.

**

"Finish boning every damn clone here?" Alice asked clearly angry.

I was extremely tired and had no time for her nonsense today.

I replied, "Oh yeah, I notice the amount I bone getting less and less, how many of your sisters are left after that last raid? Forty girls?"

Alice went quiet for a while which further irritated me, so I decided to strike the finishing blow "Are you not tired of killing them off because of jealousy?"

Alice's eyes went wide as she asked "Is that what you think of me? Is that the kind of person I am to you?"

At the end of her statement, she was practically using her telekinetic powers to yell at me.

The emotion I had been holding back, bubbling beneath the surface erupted at this time.

"Who do you think you are to yell at me? I made you, and I will fuc*ing break you if you think you can leave me even for a second," I yelled at her face as I drew closer and gripped her neck with a strength that would kill a regular human.

Sadly, the emotion I had been suppressing the entire time turned out to be anger. For the first time in my life, I was angry.

I knew that I would probably do something crazy had I remained near her.

I left the next day and went on a journey of self-discovery.

'The last thing I want is to hurt someone I love' was all I wrote in the letter I left behind.

**

After I revisited the memory of the breakup for the umpteen time, I made my way through the cavern with utmost caution.

I didn't want to be one of the people who die randomly in the apocalypse.

"Swish"

I jump back so fast it leaves a blur behind. I look down and noticed for the first time since I came to this universe – I am bleeding.

A lateral line across my chest had my intuition not warned me, I would have no doubt died.

"Swish"

This time I was prepared enough to avoid whatever it was. The nearby cave wall was sliced apart. I turn my head to the left where I see the world's largest humanoid praying mantis.

'Four Burst Technique!'

I thought as my perception of time slows down. I shot two bullets at the eyes of the creature. Simultaneously moving forward and giving a full-strength blow to the carapace several times.

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

All of a sudden, I freeze in surprise as for the first time my weapons and strength did no damage to something.

"First time getting hurt first time my punches do no damage. Sigh, a lot of my first happening here. All that's left is anal now," I muttered before quickly thinking 'Don't jinx it you asshole'.

I turned to run but was a bit too slow.

The creature struck, blowing me away in the process.

I then notice the scanner lighting up, so I turn and yell "Over here you ugly looking insect thingy,"

Though I was not sure if it would work, it still got a response out of the creature as it followed in the direction I ran.

A cat and mouse chase began for a couple of minutes. This continued until I and the mantis enter a wider area.

I then jump into the air and dive into the nearby underground water, simultaneously throwing an ultra-sonic grenade behind myself.

The wall in this cavern held a unique metal in the multiverse - type one vibranium.

This type basically enhanced the kinetic energy of whatever it came into contact with, including concentrated ultrasonic sound bursts.

If this place is what I think it is, then staying above water without any sound dampening equipment would kill even a cat with nine lives.

*tick*

*tick*

The ultra-sonic grenades I threw, land at the feet of the insectoid creature and exploded, doing no damage whatsoever to the Mantis.

I cover my ears in the water as loud screeches echoes through the cave, compounding on the walls and being amplified until the creature's internal organs begin to liquefy from the intensity of the noise.

When the noise died down, I crawl to the shore bleeding from my orifices. I enter a deep slumber as I thought 'There goes the anal virginity as well'.