Chapter Eighteen: Run Away Girl

With the play over, much of the audience broke out into excited discussion. Plenty of people were talking about the show and its quality, but even more were going on about the switch that had occurred. Obviously, no one in the crowd had any clue as to why Kanako had taken Chiyo's place, but there were a lot of different reactions to it. Some were happy about the surprise just for the sheer fact of it being a surprise. Others were happy because they got to see Haruna and Kanako play the love interest to each other on stage. And then, there were a handful of a newly-forming group of Chiyo fans that were rather upset about their favorite gal being pulled from the stage.

Not strictly among them, but of the same mindset, was Michi. "I can't believe she did something like that! What is wrong with that idiot?!" she yelled. "Kana-chan still did a good job up there though. Who knew she could act?" Itsuki commented. "That's not the point!" Michi snapped back. "Oh yeah? And what is the point Mi-chan?" Chitose asked with a smirk. "T-The point…" Michi stammered. "...is that she let all that hard work go to waste! That's it!"

Of course, that wasn't it. There was something else that truly bothered Michi. Or, two things, rather. The first was Chiyo suddenly coming out of the play. In the brief time Michi had gotten to see her up there, she had really thought the gal was shining under those lights. It felt like such a shame for that to end when it had hardly began. Her being on stage was the perfect opportunity for everybody to see just how great Chiyo was. Now, Michi thought, it would take that much longer for everyone else to understand that.

But, the second thing that bothered her was less concrete. Seeing Kanako act across from Haruna was definitely a good match. Michi couldn't deny that. For as much as she wanted Chiyo on stage, it was clear that Kanako fit perfectly to be Haruna's co-star. Their chemistry was undeniable. However, it was precisely because of that that something irritated her. There was a prickling in her heart, slightly different from how she felt about seeing Haruna with Kanako, but annoying all the same. If she had to compare, she swore it was similar to a feeling she had gotten during their camping trip last summer…

A part of Michi wanted to figure out what exactly it was she was feeling and what it meant for her, but something else told her to leave that box shut. If she opened it, who knew what trouble it would cause? So instead, Michi decided on something else. "I'm going to go find Chiyo," she declared, but before she could stomp off, Chitose stopped her. "Hey, Mi-chan. Don't be too hard on her okay?" "Huh? But she-" "There's a reason behind everything she does y'know," Chitose said quickly. Michi had no response to that. She had a feeling she could dwell on that particular observation for hours, but she shook it from her mind. Turning from the others, she began her search for Chiyo.

*****

As soon as the curtain hit the floor, Haruna went into a panic. "Kanako?" she yelled, then again, louder. "Kanako?!" "Endo-san!" Akitsuki shouted back. "Ugh! I'm not calling for you, stupid!" Haruna shot back. "Stu-! Whatever!" Akitsuki said, appalled by the sudden insult. "I just came over here to congratulate you on a good performance you jerk!" "Ah… um, thanks," Haruna said back, feeling a little guilty now for snapping at her immediately.

"Although, I suppose I can pass off your remarks as you being under a lot of stress," Akitsuki continued. "After all, Nakatomi-san appearing was quite a shock to us all." "So you didn't know either?" Haruna asked. Akitsuki shook her head, causing her pompous curls to sway with her movement. "Not at all. If it wasn't for Yamane-san, the whole lot of stagehands would've fallen to pieces. Then again, considering how she acted, she seemed to know what was going on too…"

"Yamane-san?" Haruna repeated in her head. "She knew?" It was pretty surprising to hear that a girl like Hinami would be involved in such a plan. "Anyways," Akitsuki went on, "I'm just glad you managed to keep it together on stage. No doubt that was thanks to my instructions as a director." "Yeah, sure. Do you know where Kanako went?" Haruna asked, completely ignoring Akituki's bragging. She wasn't really in the mood to talk to her "director" anyways, which was why she asked for Kanako's whereabouts.

"Hmph. As rude as ever, I see. If only you could learn a thing or two from the character you played. Then-" Before Akitsuki could go any further, Haruna clapped her hands onto the girl's cheeks and squished her face with a good amount of pressure. "Akitsuki-san," Haruna said, deathly serious. She didn't have the patience to deal with her right now. "Do. You. Know. Where. Kanako. Is?" "No, but I think she ran that way," Akitsuki said through a squished mouth as she pointed to her right. "Great, thanks!" Haruna said, proceeding to dash off.

However, she didn't get very far. "Hold up Haru-chi," Chiyo said, clearly waiting for her in the hall in the back of the gym. "Ya might wanna get changed first before you run off somewhere." "Ah…" Haruna let out, realizing she was still dressed as George Holden. "It's a good look on you, but I think Kana-chan would prefer you to look like you." "Kana… Wait, does that mean you know where she went?!" Haruna said, back in a panic. She was desperate to talk to her.

"Maaaybe. Get changed first," Chiyo said with a wry smile. So, as quick as she could, Haruna stripped off most of the make-up that had been put on her (it wasn't much, considering she had been in a male role), and threw on her school uniform. There were some wrinkles, and the bow was loose which showed how much she was in a hurry, but Haruna didn't care. Her mind was racing.

Emerging from the makeshift changing area, Haruna saw Chiyo still waiting. Without Haruna saying a word, the gal answered her question. "Ya know where the bonfire is, right?" Hearing that, Haruna took off. "There she goes," Chiyo said to herself. "This time, don't screw it up Haru-chi."

*****

While she ran through the halls, it felt as though Haruna was running both toward something and from something. Of course, she was running toward Kanako. With each stride, she got closer and closer to the girl she loved.

Looking back, it had been a long road. Starting with being in love with the same boy, Haruna had somehow gotten wrapped up in the bizarre plan of pretending to date Kanako just to try to prove a point to Akio. However, from there, Haruna could've never predicted how things were going to turn out.

She never would've thought that she'd start to see Kanako in a better light again. She never thought a day would come that she'd want the girl to be around. She never even considered holding her hand and she certainly had never thought that she'd fall in love with her.

She went head-to-head with Akio, only to have her heart and feeling dragged out into the open. She tried her best at romance, even if it was awkward and clumsy at times. Somehow, she even managed to kiss her, even if it was only on the cheek. They bathed together on the school trip too, and Haruna enjoyed that, even if it did nearly kill her.

Through all of that time, Haruna had only felt her feelings grow. When she had first fallen in love with Akio, she had thought she understood. "So this is what it's like to have feelings for someone," she had thought. Little did she know she had only begun to understand. Those feelings she had discovered were going to pave the way to something even better and stronger.

It didn't take Haruna long to figure that out. Once she understood how she felt about Kanako, it was like being hit with a flood. The love she had felt for Akio didn't even compare. This love was powerful, alluring, and overwhelming. It enraptured her heart and every feeling she had until they were all tied up in the girl she had fallen so, so far in love with. The depths Haruna went down to were so far down she hadn't even believed them to be possible.

And yet it was, and for each moment spent with Kanako, she went farther still. It was impossible to see the bottom. Truth be told, at one point, Haruna had looked for it, but now, she hoped she'd never find the floor. The feeling of just being in love with Kanako made her so happy, but she also remained unsatisfied. Before she knew it, she had developed a desire to have Kanako all to herself.

She wanted to do more than hold hands, or walk together. She wanted to be able to hold Kanako, to kiss her on more than just the cheek and, well, maybe go even further. Haruna wanted it all. But… it was precisely because of those feelings that she kept tripping along the way.

With such strong feelings for Kanako, there was plenty of good, but unfortunately, that didn't make the bad absent. For all of the good she experienced, there always seemed to be something else lurking in the background. Time after time, just as she was able to go forward, something dragged her back.

First, it had been her feelings for Akio and her hatred toward Kanako. With both of those forces against her, it had made it difficult for her to even understand her own feelings at first. When she finally did understand, she had run away from Kanako, not knowing how to act now that she was in love with the girl she had grown up with instead of the boy.

Even after she knew how she felt, she still kept saying things she didn't mean and making Kanako upset. It sometimes made her wonder if she'd ever really stand a chance. Her odds were already slim, considering just how in love Kanako had once been with Akio. It was something that Haruna had known, but going up against those feelings had turned out to be quite the challenge.

So much of a challenge, in fact, the subject of the matter essentially declared war on Haruna. And, despite all of her efforts, she still had felt like she lost. All she had been able to do in the end was tell Kanako how she felt, and again, run away.

Could Kanako fall in love with another girl? Maybe, but when it came to herself, Haruna had her doubts. After everything they had been through together, it seemed more likely for Kanako to say no if for no other reason than because it was Haruna. To her surprise however, Kanako had asked for time to think about what kind of answer she'd give.

The wait wreaked havoc on Haruna's heart and mind. She had already felt sure Kanako would say no, but being left in limbo was, in a way, worse. Thanks to that, she began to see things that weren't there. She started to believe in her delusion that Kanako was trying to put distance between them so it would be easier to turn her down. Through the passing weeks, that belief only continued to root itself deeper, and even on the school trip, it got worse.

By the time Christmas came around, Haruna had completely sold herself on the idea that Kanako wanted to get away from her and just turn her down. Or… had she? There was no denying that a small part of Haruna had wondered if maybe, just maybe, Kanako would say yes. Unfortunately, her doubts, having dug themselves into her so deep, were the driving force in her thinking. So, on the fateful night of Christmas, on a night that could've very well been merry, it had turned into a terrible memory. Before Kanako could finish giving her answer to Haruna's confession, once more, the girl ran away.

She felt like a coward and a fool, and the doubts that had been plaguing her for so long took those feelings and turned them on their head. Instead of believing in distance, Haruna began to wonder if Kanako had been about to say yes. But, while those doubts had been flipped, the fear of being rejected had only grown stronger. Due to that fear, Haruna ended up making her delusion of distance reality.

She avoided Kanako as best she could, too afraid to hear the rest of the girl's answer. And yet, it seemed to make little difference. Kanako, despite being rejected in a way herself, continued to chase after Haruna. Through her efforts, Haruna began to think maybe, somehow, Kanako did feel the same way she did.

But, if that was true, then what had she been doing? Over and over again, she had run away from Kanako. On top of that, in the past, she had been nothing but terrible to her. Perhaps it had all been forgiven now, but it was easy to emphasize past sins when her mind was already scattered and infected by fear, doubt, and now, guilt.

Was she allowed to love Kanako? Was it okay to want Kanako to love her back? After everything she had done, Haruna couldn't help but ask questions like those. Kanako was kind, but her kindness wasn't infinite. Haruna had experienced that firsthand on several occasions, becoming subject to Kanako's hidden wrath. But even without that experience, couldn't there be something else? It wasn't like being angry was the only way to tell when someone was upset with you.

What if while Haruna wasn't around, Kanako was venting all of her anger to someone? What if she was disappointed in Haruna because of how she kept acting? Maybe, Kanako thought it was so laughable that a girl once so cruel to her would fall in love with her. It would be the perfect punchline to get rejected after coming so far.

Although, Haruna knew Kanako wasn't that kind of person. She was the type to seriously consider another person's feelings. Admittedly, she could get a bit blinded by love, but it was clear she also still cared about others. Thinking about their past interactions, Haruna even recalled Kanako telling her there was no way she could ever hate Haruna.

She could rule out being laughed at, but what of her other questions? Could any of them be true? There was quite a bit of evidence to deny them, but sometimes, feelings simply feel stronger. In particular, negative ones. Unless Kanako told her exactly how she felt, Haruna would continued to be plagued by these negative emotions.

It was what brought her to her hidden, unconscious wish for someone to reach out their hand and pull her out from it all. Stuck in a whirlwind of fear, doubt, self-loathing, frustration and worry, Haruna could see no way to put a stop to it on her own. Her personality was strong, but her ability to reassure herself was weak. Oddly, enough, Haruna felt that Kanako was the opposite. Perhaps that was another thing that attracted her to Kanako, a girl who seemed timid on the outside but was strong at her core.

That strength, among other things, was like a light in the dark to Haruna, but until that light extended itself to her, there was just no way she could get to it. Thinking that, her pace slowed. If it needed to come to her, then why was she running? Would it really do her any good to try to chase after something she could never reach?

Slowing and slowing still, Haruna's doubts dragged down even her footsteps, until finally, she found herself stopped. Down at the end of the hall she was in and to the left were a pair of older-looking, grey metal doors. They were currently propped open, no doubt to allow easy access, although most likely terrible for the heating bill. Going through those doors would lead Haruna to the area behind the school, where students would be gathering around a massive bonfire to celebrate the end of the festival.

Noticing her surroundings, Haruna became more in-tune with what was being said over the speakers.

"Thank you for coming to the Iwanai Municipal High School cultural festival. We hope you enjoyed your time here."

The announcement seemed to be looping, causing Haruna to also realize that the whole time she had been running, there was hardly anybody in the halls. "So it's over, huh…" she muttered to herself. All that was left was the celebration. No doubt, that's also where Kanako was waiting. But. After everything Haruna had been thinking about, she found herself wondering one thing.

"Should I really go see her?"

Did she even have the right to? It was a question Haruna couldn't answer. Yet again, in the last moments, she was under attack by her own mind, which threatened to overtake her heart. "Maybe I should just go home…" she thought, but before she could even take one step in that direction, she heard something unexpected.

"EEENNNDDDOOOO-SAAAAN!!!" There, at the end of the hall, was something other than the doors. Standing in a black t-shirt and jeans was a girl with hair cut in a bob, with a color to match her upper attire. Completely taken aback by this girl shouting her name, all Haruna could say back in response was the girl's name. "Y-Yamane-san?"

With a gentle smile on her face, Hinami gave a small wave. For a moment, Haruna hesitated. She had just about decided she would leave, but since she had acknowledged Hinami, it wasn't like she could just ignore her. Uncertain, Haruna made her way toward the girl who had stopped her from leaving.

"H-Hi, Endo-san," Hinami said pleasantly. "G-Good work in the play." "Um, thanks…" Haruna said back, still not understanding why Hinami was in front of her. "So, why are you over here Yamane-san? Shouldn't you be still helping the other stage hands, or be outside with your friends?" "I was waiting for you," she said surprisingly easily. "M-Me?" Haruna said, now even more confused.

"That's right," Hinami said. "I-I'm here as a g-guardian of l-love!" Immediately, her face turned red from embarrassment. "Guardian of love?" Haruna asked, eyebrows raised. "Uuu… Chiyo made me say it…" she confessed. "B-But!"

As Hinami continued, she moved behind Haruna. "I-I'm also here because I believe in you. I am your number one fan, after all." "Yamane-san, what-" Before Haruna could even finish her sentence, she felt small hands on her back. With a bit of force, they pushed, sending Haruna a step forward.

"Go on," Hinami said softly. "She's waiting for you."

Taking a look back, Haruna saw what could only be described as belief and pride on Hinami's face. Turning to look ahead again, she stared out the doors. Initially, the first few steps came easily. She was now outside, but just as the cool, crisp air hit her face, she stopped once again.

"Can I do this?"

Could she hear Kanako out until the end? Was she ready for what might come? Once again, there was no way for her to know the answers to those questions. However, before she could consider turning around again, Chiyo's words echoed in her head. "...I can't run away from this," Haruna told herself, albeit with a lot of nerves. Honestly, she really did want to run, but with Chiyo and now Hinami at her back, there was no way she could now.

Looking all around, Haruna eventually spotted the figure she was looking for. "Well… I guess I shouldn't keep her waiting any longer." With a new, somewhat shaky resolve, Haruna began making her way toward Kanako.

End of Chapter Eighteen.