Soun Tendo gripped a weathered postcard with both hands. It read, "Hi. Bringing Ranma from China. Saotome."
He began to cry tears of joy. "Oh! How I've waited for this day!" He beckoned his three daughters to join him in the main living room of his traditional Japanese home. There, Soun explained to them that a very good friend of his would be bringing his son to visit. And that if one of them were to marry Genma's son and carry on the family dojo, the Tendo legacy would be secure for years to come.
The youngest daughter, Akane Tendo, immediately complained, "Don't WE get a say in who we marry?"
The eldest daughter, Kasumi Tendo, added, "Akane's right, father. Besides, we've never even met Ranma."
The middle daughter, Nabiki Tendo, remarked on the sounds of arguing coming from outside their front door, "Do you think that might be them now?"
Soun sprang up and hastened to the door to welcome his dear friend and his son to their home. His three daughters followed behind with mixed amounts of trepidation.
He opened the door to find a large panda being punched by an angry red-haired girl. The panda was carrying an unconscious red-haired boy over its shoulder.
"Woah, hold up. Why are you telling me this?" Kisame Hoshigaki asked. Dressed in the traditional Akatsuki uniform, the massive sword in his hand seemed to shake and throb under its many layers of bandage as if anticipation of bloodshed.
"I've been gone for two years. At least let me have a little bit of exposition," Haru pouted as he picked himself up from sitting on the ground. Despite a hole in his Chinese-style silk shirt, there was no longer any wound from where he had been stabbed by Obito. It was a crude imitation of Kabuto's regeneration but it was effective enough. "Anyways, I figured that since I don't really have a chance at beating you in a swordfight, I'd try talking it out."
"Oh, ho. Then you've heard of me?" The missing Mist nin grinned, displaying a terrifyingly sharp set of pearly whites.
"Let's just say I've read some stories," Haru grinned back jovially. "It's too bad really. Maybe in another life, we could have been friends." He took a low fighting stance that was reminiscent of Chinese Kung Fu.
Kisame narrowed his eyes. Either this kid was stupidly cocky or had some trick up his sleeve.
The red haired boy was first to act. With a single hand seal he shouted, "Shadow Clone Technique!" and created two shadow clones. Both leapt away in separate directions.
The Akatsuki member's hands blurred as he began a complicated jutsu. However, the rapid series of hand seals was interrupted with a loud crack.
Haru had summoned a handgun from the storage seals engraved on his wrists and successfully capped the shark-man in the knee. It was a very practical firearm, common within the underworld of modern Japan.
Kisame fell to one knee and growled fiercely. He blocked the next two shots by hiding behind his massive sword. "That's an interesting weapon you have there."
The teenager in the exotic silks flipped several meters into the air and squeezed two more shots at the blue-skinned missing nin. The bullets pinged off Kisame's bandaged sword, Samehada. The sword was having none of it and razor sharp scales pierced the wrappings and grinded together making a horrific screaming sound.
When Haru landed on his feet, the sky had turned grey and a light drizzle had begun. That would normally indicate an excessive level of humidity except for the small sized sharks that began to fall wherever Haru had just been standing. Upon hitting the ground, they splashed like rubber water filled balloons. A couple sharks had latched onto Haru's coat, flailing around like an extra set of violently writhing limbs growing out of his arms.
While Haru was distracted by the razor-sharp teeth digging into both his arms, Kisame shuffled his hands in a rapid series of seals. The equivalent of fifty fire hoses of water blasted Haru through several trees, leaving a trail of cracked stumps through the woods of Fire Country.
"Don't tell me that's all you've got, kiddo," Kisame bellowed into the felled woods.
"Rasen-fireball!" From the thick shadows of the trees, two flaming orbs flew through the air and careened toward Kisame like heat-seeking missiles.
"Great timing. Samehada is hungry," the Akatsuki-nin hefted his legendary sword and smashed it into both fireballs simultaneously, sending flames and sparks into the air. The sword let out a shrill grinding sound in its displeasure at drinking in such hot chakra.
The flames puttered out but Kisame still strained against an intense pressure fighting back the razor-scales of his sword. His chakra drinking sword had absorbed all the fire natured chakra but what remained was pitch black spheres of impregnable chakra.
Samahada screamed in pain as the black, indigestible chakra ripped off its scales. Each sphere left a deep gash in the sword as they were deflected. The wounds were exposed, burnt, writhing metallic flesh.
Off balance, Kisame shouted, "What the hell is this? What did you do?"
As if whispered from behind his ear, Kisame heard his opponent's voice, "I knew I could never beat you in a straight up swordfight."
The blue-skinned Akatsuki whipped around and swiped the air behind him with his marred legendary sword. There was only thin air, however.
"But I know what you're capable of."
Kisame whirled around again, slashing at thin air.
"And that doesn't involve senjutsu."
Kisame realized it was a genjutsu and immediately dispelled it. However, the voice continued…
"You're going to die!"
Sensing something, feeling the killing intent behind him, Kisame instinctively blocked with his sword. The writhing, living sword met a clawed hand smouldering in deadly chakra.
"You're strong for a human!" Haru's voice was grizzly and dark and was becoming more and more demonic by the second. It was a far cry from the composed young man who had just been telling him his life's story. Even the chakra was nothing alike.
While Kisame was fending off a monstrous, rapidly mutating jinchuriki, the same black orbs of chakra smashed into Kisame's back. They exploded, revealing huge sections of charred, bloody red flesh under his blue skin.
"Isobu is right. Unfortunately, you will die here. I need a sacrifice," Haru said as he directed the Truth-Seeking Balls with his palms.
Kisame suddenly realized he was outnumbered. The kid has vanished Tobi and somehow the bijuu intruded into this fight. If it were either of them then it might have been an interesting fight. No other members of Akatsuki were coming to help. It was time to flee.
"Sorry, Kiddo, I don't feel like dying today," Kisame voiced through grit teeth. Despite the pain of his wounds and threats behind and in front, he took one hand off the hilt of his sword to execute a trio of hand seals.
The shark-nin burst into a mass of water. His sword fell to the ground with a splash.
Isobu roared. His body only had the vaguest semblance of Haru's original form. Nine feet tall, he smashed a reptilian foot into the puddle where his prey had been.
Haru walked up to the sword, wet and dishevelled. "I told you before, I know what you're capable of. I have to admit I'm kind of a fan." He knelt down to pick up the sword that he knew contained the being known as Kisame Hoshigaki. "It's a shame that we couldn't be...FFFFFFFOWWWWW."
Upon being grasped, the hilt of the sword impaled Haru's hand in half a dozen places, sprouting needles and thrashing about like a bull trying to buck off a clown.
Haru reflexively dismissed the ornery sword into his wrist scar storage seals. Swearing like a sailor, he tried to direct medical chakra to his right hand but the wounds wouldn't regenerate. He summoned some antiseptic packets and tore them open with his mouth, pouring them over the decimated hand before wrapping it in gauze and bandage.
It was like the opposite of the gentle fist. Instead of damming up the chakra, the puncture wounds were like a chakra vacuum that would suck in as much chakra as Haru could direct to his hand without any noticeable change.
"Ah, ouch. Hey, Isobu. It's been a while," Haru smiled. It was with perfect timing that Haru's shadow clone had managed to excise the white zetsu and rouse Isobu. The Nanban Mirror had dropped Haru basically right above where Obito had been vivisecting the Sanbi.
"Aniki. How," Isobu growled as he shrunk down to normal Haru size.
Seeing his 14 year old self in front of him, Haru handed the naked Isobu a spare set of clothes from his storage seal along with one of his favored black coats. And then, realizing what was missing from the picture, Haru gave his 'younger brother' the eyepatch he himself was wearing.
"That's a long story. I'll tell you on the way back to Konoha." Looking around with his yet heterochromatic eyes, all Haru could see outside the Akatsuki base was flooded woodland filled with broken trees. "By the way, do you have any idea where we are right now?"