Job

Chapter 34. Job

NANG malaman ni Kanon ang totoong pagkatao ng kanyang tunay na ama ay nagpasya siyang ibaon na lamang iyon sa limot.

Her mom was still a police detective when she met the bachelor Ramon del Rio, Jr. They were both in the force back then and the latter was assigned to work in the province. In spite of being in a relationship for almost a year, she didn't love him the way he loved her. Nalaman niyang minahal ng mama niya ang ama ng nobyo at ganoon din ang naramdaman ng nakatatandang Ramon. Despite of the seventeen-year old age gap, they loved each other truthfully and she was the living proof of their true love towards each other. Kaya pala kahit ikaila niya ay naramdaman pa rin niya ang matinding pagkagiliw sa kanya ng kanyang lolo, na inakala niyang normal lang naman sa mga ingkong. Idagdag pa ang pagiging malapit nito sa mama niya... She honestly felt weird the first time she noticed their closeness after she knew about everything, but eventually, she accepted it. Everything had made sense. Kaya pala halos sa ospital na tumira ang lolo niya ay hindi dahil workaholic ito, kundi dahil iniiwasan nitong palaging nakasama at makita ang mama niya dahil nagpasya ang mga ito na ibabaon na sa limot ang katotohanan. Kaya ganoon na rin ang naging pasya niya. She didn't want her late father's name to be tainted just as how she didn't want her biological father's name to be ruined—and her mom's, too.

Nalaman din niyang hindi totoong del Rio ang kinalakihan niyang ama dahil anak ito sa pagkadalaga ng napangasawa ni Ramon del Rio, Sr. na siyang nakagisnan niya bilang lolo. Magkaibigang matalik ang lolo't lola niya kaya para hindi maging kahihiyan ang lola niya ay pinkalasan ito ng kanyang lolo at inako ang bata. Buntis na ang kabiyak nang pakasalan ng lolo niya't maaga namang namatay ang kanyang lola dahil sa sakit na kanser sa dugo. Gayunpama'y minahal at pinalaki ng nakatatanda ang naiwang anak na parang tunay na kadugo. But sadly, her father died of the same sickness her late grandmother had—leukemia. She was still young and didn't even know what the word "died" meant. She was only told that her father went to a better place and was not sick in there anymore.

Noong ipagbuntis naman siya ng mama niya ay umalis ito sa pulisya para takasan ang katotohanang nabuntis ito ng ama ng nobyo nito nang mga panahong iyon. Hindi pa alam ng lolo niyang buntis na ang mama niya noon.

Nang malaman ay nagpumilit ang kanyang lolo na pakasalan ang kanyang mama pero hindi pumayag ang nakagisnan niyang ama. Masisira ang reputasyon ni Ramon del Rio, Sr. kung kakalat sa madla na inagaw nito ang kasintahan ng sariling anak at inanakan pa.

She was told that her father threatened her biological parents to tell everyone about it. At dahil ayaw ng mama niya na masira ang reputasyon ng minamahal ay pumayag ito sa nais na pakasalan at akuin siya bilang tunay na anak ni Ramon del Rio, Jr.

For her, he was a good and a loving father. And despite of knowing the truth behind her identity, she's still seeing him that way because he never wronged her. He loved her as his own child, as if she's from his own blood. As a kid, she felt that unconditional love until she grew upto this point of her life.

In the process, she came to accept everything and sometimes call her lolo 'Papa'. Sooner or later, she knew that their secret would be revealed and she's readying herself just in case it happened already.

Napabalik ang atensyon niya sa mga kausap nang alalayan siya ni Lemuel sa pag-upo na kaagad naman niyang itinaboy ang kamay nito. Wala itong karapatang hawakan siya dahil si Dice lamang ang may karapatan sa kanya.

"Don't touch me!"

Tumahimik lamang ito.

"Daisuke Usui was sent to you. You're only a job to him, and they're planning to acquire your company—"

"He can never do that."

"But he already did," sabad ng mama niya. "Years ago, Kanon Grace, back when you were teenagers..."

Hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga isiniwalat ng mga ito. Hindi siya naniniwala. Hindi siya maniniwala! Kaya magdamag siyang hindi nakatulog at mag-uumaga na nang makatulog, at tinanghali na siya ng gising. Habang nasa banyo upang maligo ay nagpasya siyang tawagin si Dice para kumprontahin. Hindi na niya inalala ang usapan nilang hindi sila magtatawagan sa araw na iyon dahil ang nalaman niya'y hindi na dapat pang ipagpabukas. Kailangang-kailangan na nilang mag-usap nito para maliwanagan siya.

She was calm at first, but when she noticed he wasn't denying anything, she fumed.

"So is it true than I am just your freaking job?! Is it why you're okay with our long-distanced relationship? That you're fine with us having no sex at all!?"

"No, sweetie... I am respecting you and your stand about no to premarital sex."

"Then, why aren't you denying these things? Na nakipaglapit ka sa akin noong mga bata pa tayo dahil inutusan ka ng papa mo, na ngayo'y isa ka nang secret agent at misyon mong patumbahin ang FastEx para mamayagpag ang Usui Corporation? Ano ba talaga, Dice? Ayaw kong maniwala... pero natatakot ako sa pananahimik mo. "

"No, baby... Sweetie—"

"Huwag mo akong idaan sa paglalambing-lambing mo! Ngayon ko lang naisip na hindi pala simple ang trabaho mo sa Phoenix na iyan! Hindi ka lang basta IT Technician! My God, why did I believe in such lies? Sino nga bang kumpanya ang magha-hire ng IT Technician pero Registered Nurse by profession? You're scaring me!"

"Uuwi ako. We'll talk personally."

"Bakit hindi pa tayo mag-usap ngayon? Bakit kailangang uuwi ka muna? Para ano? Para makapagtagpi-tagpi ng mga bagong kwentong i-istorya mo sa akin?"

Paulit-ulit itong nagmura at nabobosesan niya ang takot at pagkataranta rito. Why wasn't he still denying all of it? She's starting to believe everything was true and that made her felt weak.

"Dice naman, magsalita ka... Gusto kong itanggi mo ang lahat..." garalgal ang tinig na aniya, umaasang hindi totoo ang lahat.

Bumuntong-hininga ito sa kabilang linya. "Hindi lahat ng nalalaman mo ay totoo."

"Kung ganoon, gusto kong malaman ang totoong sagot... p-parte ba ako ng misyon mo ngayon? Na trabaho mo lang ako?"

A long silence before he answered, "Yes..."

Nanlumo siya at napaupo sa malamig na sahig ng banyo.

"But... Goddammit..." He sighed and she felt he was panicking. "Wait for me, Kan, we can't clear this out over the phone. I'll go home now—"

She ended the call and threw the phone on the wall. Bumagsak at nababad iyon sa bathtub na may tubig at nasisiguro niyang sira na iyon.

Kaya ba ang daming mga pagkakataong nagkita sila matapos ng ilang taon? Dahil sinadya nitong lapitan siya? She was now blinded by her anger and felt so betrayed that was why she agreed to Lemuel's plan. Itatago siya nito at sisiguraduhing hindi mahahanap ng kanyang kasintahan. Lalo pa't nalaman niyang may contact si Lemuel sa Phoenix kaya hindi sila mahahanap kahit ng pinakamagaling na imbestigador ng mga ito.

The first month was excruciatingly hurtful. She'd wake up every dawn being anxious that Dice was laughing at her miseries now, and, she's having nightmares wherein he's having different affairs abroad as she was waiting for him to patiently go back home. Halos mabaliw siya't kung hindi dahil kay Lemuel ay baka hindi niya kayanin ang mga gabing iyon.

Her ex-boyfriend took care of her. Whenever she's having anxiety attacks, he'd attend her and gave her prescription drugs. Whenever she's having nightmares, he'd help her calm down after taking the medicines and she'd fall asleep soundly.

"Kanon, kumusta ang pakiramdam mo?"

She felt groggy while looking at Lemuel who grew his beard. Gayunpama'y nahahalata pa ring may itsura ito. Alam niyang si Lemuel ito pero ang laki na ng ipinagbago ng itsura ng huli, na kung minsa'y parang ibang tao ang tinitingnan niya dahil sa pagbabago nito.

"I'm fine. My stomach is just acting up and I keep on puking all night," malat ang malumanay niyang tinig.

"You should drink this medicine. It's for your sore throat, while this one's for your stomachache."

Inalalayan siya nito sa pag-upo sa mesa at sumandal siya sa bedside table 'tsaka ininom ang mga gamot.

She cleared her throat when he suddenly hugged her tightly.

"Kanon... I know you're still hurting but I want you to know that I am here for you."

Because she was emotionally unstable, she cried her heart out thinking about Dice. She loved him wholeheartedly, but he betrayed her.

Nang makahuma ay kumalas siya sa yakap ni Lemuel at tinitigan ito.

"You're saving me again, Lem... just as how you did years ago. T-thank you for always being by my side during my darkest times. I will forever be grateful to you. You're such a great person and I'm glad that I have you."

But he cleared his throat and responded, "I still have feelings for you..."

Natigilan siya sa sinabi nito at nagdahilan na gusto niyang mapag-isa. Bukod sa palusot niya lang iyon ay nakaramdam na rin siya ng pagkaantok, marahil ay umeepekto na ang mga gamot.

He hugged her again. "I'll wait for you to completely heal, Kanon, and I won't leave you." Mukhang desidido itong sungkitin muli ang puso niya gaya rati. Ang dahilan kung bakit niya ito sinagot noon ay dahil pakiramdam niya'y malaking bahagi ito sa pagbuo niya sa sariling pagkatao. Nang mahuli sila ni Dice sa hotel at gumawa ito ng eksena kung saan kumalat iyon at nagpatibay sa maling bali-balita patungkol sa kanya, inakala niyang hindi na niya kakayanin pa ang mga katakut-takot na paninira sa kanyang dignidad. Na kung wala si Lemuel noon ay baka hindi siya nagkalakas ng loob na harapin ang mga suliranin, lalo pa't sa murang edad ay napakarami niyang napagdaanang mga bagay na halos ikasira niya. Kaya naging komportable siya sa huli at kalauna'y nagkaroon sila ng relasyon.

Bilib na bilib siya sa paraan ng pagmamahal nito sa kanya lalo na noong pabagsakin nito ang sariling kumpanya para sa kapakanan niya—para hindi na siya gawing banta sa mga magulang niya't negosyo ng kanyang pamilya... She felt really treasured. But they broke up when his father had a heart attack and his whole family had to move in France. Doon nito pinagpatuloy ang pagiging modelo kaya kahit na gumaling na ang ama nito ay nanatili pa rin ang mga ito sa Paris dahil doon na maglalagi.

She sighed and looked around the surrounding where she was at that moment. She was isolated at all. Having no connections to the outside world inside that cold and melancholic dark room somewhere in Cebu.

Until it was already the fourth month and Lemuel sadly informed her the good news about her cousin, Princess, already gave birth... And the unfortunate news was she passed away after giving birth to her healthy baby.

Ulila na ang pamangkin niya't nagpasya siya kaagad na ampunin ito.

"Sinabi ko na kay Tita na pupuntahan natin ang pamangkin mo't aasikasuhin ang burol ng pinsan mo. Daniel is taking the flight tonight and will probably land by tomorrow afternoon or evening," pagbibigay-alam nito sa kanya.

"Let's buy some baby clothes and things first before we go to my child," desisyon niya, tuluyan nang inako ang bata dahil nahahabag siya na wala na ang ina nito.

Nang masinagan ng sikat ng araw ay nanghina siya—marahil ay sa tagal niyang nagtatago't nagkulong lamang sa iisang lugar—pero unti-unti rin namang nasanay. Malawak ang rest house na tinuluyan nila pero dahil palagi siyang maysakit ay hindi siya gaanong lumalabas sa kanyang silid. Bumagsak din ang katawan niya't nangayayat nang husto. Naalala niya ang annual checkup niya't naisip na magpatingin na lang sa ibang doktor at ospital dahil baka hindi na siya bumalik pa ng Maynila. Natatakot siyang baka mahanap siya ni Dice at 'pag nagkita sila ay baka matibag nang tuluyan ang paninindigan niyang hindi na muli pang magpapaloko rito.

"Are you thinking about him again?" tanong ni Lemuel.

Umiling siya.

"You were also like this back then. You're always distracted—"

"I was distracted. You're right... He's just my distraction during that time. I was trying to focus on my studies and extracurricular activities, but he's always there, distracting me and alluring me, making me feel he fancied me and he wanted to court me. Iyon pala, may balak nang masama sa akin... Paano na lang kung hindi kita nakilala noon? At paano rin kung hindi ka dumating ngayon?"

He smiled at her and looked really satisfied by her words. So she smiled back. But even though she's smiling, she felt hollow. Because deep within, she wanted to see her favorite charming and enchanting smile from someone who could easily make her heart fluttered effortlessly. She missed being enticed by Daisuke Villaraigosa Usui's alluring smiles.

Deep in her crying heart, she's longing for her favorite distraction...