Death

July is a month with the beginning and end of a particular person within Belen's heart. The month is horror itself, Belen hates but loves this month the most.

"K-Keebo…do-don't go. Where are you? K-Keebo!!" she shouts, waking up from a nightmare in the middle of dawn gasping for air as if she couldn't breathe.

"What the hell?" she looks around in panic seeing her balcony door open and the wind playing with the curtains. "It was just a dream…" she signs relieved. Just then, she stares at her calendar with the 19th date circled.

"three more days…until his birthday, but" she turns away hurt, "tomorrow is his death anniversary" she grips her blanket, desperately holding back her tears.

During July, Belen always takes the month off to mourn the death of her little brother, Emiliano Astares.

She usually stays in her room and never comes out, not even to drink water or eat. Noah is the only one who is aware of this month and knows what usually happens. So he takes it upon himself to always come to check on Belen once a week. He'll cook her soft food to eat and begs her to drink water.

Once July is over, she returns to work, but people often notice how much weight she loses. Soon after, she moderately gains it back, looking healthier than before. She has no regard for Noah and does not care about anything other than mourning her brother's death.

She spends most of her time either reminiscing or crying about Emiliano, whom she calls Keebo.

"I finally have a house, money, but you're not here to see it all or enjoy it," she talks to herself, "sometimes I think, what is the point of living if everything we planned out, we can't do it together."

At this point, her tears pouring out are her regretful feelings from inside, "I remember how happy you were when you met your favorite Princess at Disney land. It was Aurora," she chuckles "you don't even know what she was saying because all you saw were flowers surrounding her like a frame."

After some time passed, she's taking a shower, "I adopted Oreo for you. How would you feel knowing that my mom and dad got rid of him? K-Keebo," she chokes up, "why did it have to be you?! Why couldn't it have been me!?"

After drying herself, she walks out of the bathroom wearing a nightgown with her hair soaking wet, but she doesn't care. She loses strength in her legs, causing her to stumble beside her bed. Her haggard, empty eyes notice an illusion of her brother standing in front of her. Her blank eyes widen, looking up to see Emiliano's chubby round face scolding her, "come on, Belen! You have to eat something, at least drink water. You can't stay locked up in your room," he cheerfully smiles.

The corners of her mouth curl up when slowly reaching out to grab him, but he disappears. She desperately chases after him gaining strength to run downstairs, relying upon the rail. "Wait!!" she yells loudly, echoing the house and stops to see a glass of water on the table, knowing that Noah must've put it there. But most importantly, she couldn't stop herself from crying, "keuk, ahh! Keebo! Keebo!" she calls out his name in distress.

She gives up bitterly walking up to the bedroom wearing such a lonely expression as if her eyes don't have a spark of life in them. Slowly but surely, the pain within her chest is enveloping her whole state of mind. Convincing to take her life.

She enters the room, gripping onto a kitchen knife so tightly, afraid as to what she will do with it but, most importantly, thinking, "will this set me free? From this pain, will I," she violently hits her chest, "Can I see you again…Keebo?"

All of a sudden, her sadness turns to a strange sense of rage, anxiety, and frustration, making her go crazy when she starts hitting the walls, breaks her vanity mirror because she hates seeing herself. "Argh!!!" she growls, laying on the ground like a corpse, "it should've been me! I should've been the one to die! Not you!!!"

"Please…God, if there is one. Please, give me one more chance to see him. Why did you take him!!!" she curls into a ball on the ground surrounded by pieces of shattered mirror shards.

Emiliano's sweet voice encircles her like a lullaby, "Don't think about dying, Belen. You have to keep living. I will always be there for you. Please, be strong."

She mumbles lost in thought, gripping onto the knife like a teddy bear, "I-I can't. Everyone else treats me like a doll. I'm tired, Keebo. I'm scared, I-I just want to go to sleep…forever."

After falling asleep, her mind wanders into memories of Emiliano.

"you're going to have a little brother," Ernestina proudly claims as her sisters crowd her. All except Belen, "Papi, I don't want a brother." Edy hugs her, "why? you will always be our baby."

"Belen, look after your brother!" "Belen, you have to take your brother with you!" "Stop hitting your brother!" "He's your little brother. You have to protect him!" "don't scare your brother!" "If he cries again, I'm going to hit you, Belen!!"

She grew up continually getting slapped, verbally abused and hit by her mother because Belen was jealous of all the attention her brother took away. Envy feuded within, causing hatred towards her brother more and more throughout time. But the only person who ever gave her attention was her dad.

But his attention wasn't all that perfect because her parent's pride always went to Mabel. Soon after Belen's Quinceanera, she knew no one else could match her talents within the family, especially Emiliano, who came out to be "not for school" material.

Edilberto did not bother showing off his son and instead focused, giving all of his attention to Belen. In doing so, her life became complicated with people often bullying, blackmailing, and threatening her life, causing her to become emotionally unstable.

During these difficult times, she didn't look for a boy to comfort her loneliness. Rather her brother would listen to her struggles, difficulties, and thoughts. He was a strong shoulder to cry on. From there on, their relationship only grew as they became so much closer to one another that Edy, Iris, and Ernestina would often call them twins.

Emiliano and Belen were able to talk as if he were her secret safe. She developed trust in Emiliano to keep all her secrets and understand her pain and joy. Emiliano was the only person who knew Belen's pure fun, lovable, and enjoyable self.

She became emotionally stable, healthy, and confident, brimming with high self-esteem. and often believed, "as long as I have Keebo, I will always be happy."

That belief shattered once she heard about his death, causing her to erupt and discover her family's hidden lies. She broke, the last straw was the disappearance of Oreo. Her parents felt ridiculous worrying about a cat. To Belen, Oreo meant much more.

They often made promises to each other like, "when you become rich enough to buy your own house, I'm going to live with you!" Keebo laughs, encouraging Belen to do her best. And she'd always say, "Don't worry, the first thing I'll do is buy you a building where you can turn it into a hair salon."

And share their thoughts for the future, "How many kids will you have, Belen?"

She blushes, "I don't know, maybe three, well. I want to have two and adopt one. What about you?"

He hesitates, "I don't think I'll have children. I want to be the cool uncle!" he laughs.

And when they fought, they'd often make-up before the end of the day. She whispers, "are you asleep?"

He does not respond.

She pouts, "I'm sorry I did that. I didn't mean to make you mad, but it's just. I got frustrated, and it sort of spilled out. Sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said."

He sniffs silently, crying, "I wish you wouldn't say such things. It hurts to see you like that. I got so mad too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to say whatever I want."

She sits beside his bed, rubbing his shoulder, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I-I learned my lesson."

They'd often text each other, "Nice~ don't give up" "Have fun learning!" "I really like how you styled my hair, thanks," and more throughout the day.

Sometimes deep into the night, they'd stay up talking about their dreams, goals, and future. They called it their "dark talks," which they revealed secrets, cried, spoke about family issues, and always ended with their hope for the future. He was Belen's little brother but, most importantly, considered him a best friend.

She dreams of the many times they'd often play with Oreo, their faces shining with life, brimming with happy smiles and laughter fill the room. In moments like those, Belen wished time could freeze because life felt so much lighter and simpler.

After his death, her heart froze but managed to unfreeze every once a year, for a whole month, July. No one can hurt her with their words anymore because her heart is in anguish, desperately wishing for her brother to be brought back from the dead. The only warm consolation she wants is to hug her brother one last time and tell him how much she loves and appreciates him.

***

Everest is stuck closing A Star again, "why does Noah keep leaving so early? Should I take these to Belen?" he contemplates turning on the engine to his car, "what if she's sleeping by now? But! I can always leave it in her house. Damn, how am I supposed to enter…should I ask Noah?"

He calls Noah five times but instead goes to voicemail, "shit! He doesn't answer! What should I do? These documents are important, and I need her to look through them. Ugh," he shakes his head, "and I need to send them before she attends that wedding."

Forty minutes later, he's driving to Belen's house, "I don't think she'd get mad. If anything, wouldn't this count as being responsible? Shit, why am I so nervous? It's only been a week since I last saw her. What is this feeling? Am I scared?"

He's let inside Belen's estate so easily raising his suspicion, "did she know I was coming? I called, but she didn't answer," he glances, noticing her house completely dark.

"the lights are off, could she be sleeping? Maybe I should leave. I could just leave them here. Yeah, I should" he slowly walks near the entrance ringing the doorbell.

No one answers, but just as he was about to walk away, the security guard says, "The door should be open, it's not locked. Secretary Noah stopped by yesterday. You may enter."

Everest nods, "I see, thank you." He cautiously opens the door, and soon as he stepped foot inside, the lights turn on automatically, impressing him.

"Belen? I mean, Madam President?! Madam!! Hello? Belen?" his voice echoes. The deeper he gets inside, the more impressed he is to see her grand mansion from color and architecture to famous branded and limited edition furniture. He does not know where to begin, "Madam! Hello? Belen?!" while going up the stairs. "damn, how many rooms does this place have? Does she live alone?" he says annoyingly.

He notices a door open, but as soon as he walked in, the full moon's shinning white light brims throughout the room. Everest's eyes widen in horror seeing Belen on the ground surrounded by mirror shards.

"Belen!!" he shouts, hurriedly running to her side, carefully examining her body to see her holding onto a kitchen knife tightly as if her life depended on it. His mind wanders, "did someone break-in? Was she attacked? Why else would she be holding a knife?" he carries her like a princess onto the bed, pulling the knife from her grasp.

His face turns pale full of terror, unable to process what he should do as his hands shake like a leaf, "I-I should call the police!"

Before he can, security rush inside alarming Everest to think maybe it's an attack, "Sir Everest, we heard shouting, did something happen?" security is shocked to see the mess within Belen's room, "we have to call the police fast! She may have been assaulted! Hurry!" Everest urgently shouts.

Security stares at each other confused, making Everest more frustrated, "what the fuck are you bums standing around for?! Call the police!!"

They call, "this is security from Belen Astare's residence, it seems something terrible happened to Miss Astares. What should we do, Secretary Noah?"

He thought they were talking to the police, "what the fuck are you calling him for?!"

But security pass the phone to him, "Noah? What is going on? I just!"

Noah's voice sounds urgent and afraid, "I'm on my way! Don't call the police! Please. Do not call anyone. I'm going to contact her doctor."

"Why does this sound as if it happened before? She may have been assaulted!"

"I can't explain it over the phone, but you'll have to trust me. Belen would not want the police involved. Just keep staying by her side for now until her doctor, and I arrive."

"How can I remain calm in this…Hello? Hello?! shit, he hung up!" he glares at security, giving them back the phone. "I heard everything, leave, her doctor will be coming soon."

Security leaves him alone with Belen. His mind is shaken, unable to accept what is going on when his priority is to check if she's got any injuries. "She has cuts on her shoulders and legs. Could they be because of the mirror? Noah did sound scared, but why did he not want to call the police? Why was she holding a knife? She looked as if she was trying to protect herself but out in the open? This just doesn't make sense."

Belen twitches in her sleep, "mmm…" she starts sniffing as tears roll down her cheeks, shocking Everest to jump away from her bed.

"What the-? Belen?" he gets closer, noticing her cringing crying face, "don't go. Please don't leave me…K-Keebo."

Everest's eyebrows furrow, "kibble?" he gently whispers, "Belen. Belen~. Are you okay? Belen?"

At that moment, Belen opens her eyes, frightening Everest a little when she wraps her arms around, pulling him onto the bed, "Keebo! You're here! I missed you Keebo," she silently cries.

Everest uncomfortably tries to push her away but realizes her strong will not to let go. She gently embraces him, "Keebo."

He's amazed seeing her act this way and thinks if perhaps she's mistaken him for someone else.

She quietly whispers as tears fill her eyes, "I love you, Keebo. Please. Please don't leave me!"

Everest suddenly understands her painful voice, thinking, "this person must be someone important enough to make her cry. I don't know why, but I don't want to pull away. If I do, she might just cry even more." He accidentally says aloud, gently patting her back, "don't worry."

This eases Belen's sobbing when all he can do is provide comfort, "was this how Leena felt when Sun-young left me? She saw me in my most miserable state. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I don't want to let you go, Belen. You might be suffering the same way I am."

The doctor rushes to Belen's room, amazed to see someone else other than Noah sitting beside her bed. Everest gets up, "you are?"

"I'm her doctor, can you please step out for a moment while I examine her."

"Yes, sorry," he steps out to call Noah. "this bastard isn't answering his goddamn phone!" he grits his teeth.

***

When Noah was talking to Everest over the phone earlier, he dashed out of Mabel's house, rushing to his car, but as soon as he hung up, he was met with some local gangsters.

A group of mischievous gangsters dressed in white and black hoodies crowd Noah trying to get to his car, "Mira what we have here, un chino! You aren't from here, are you chino?" they mock him.

Noah tries his best to remain calm, knowing that any action can cause his life. He knew what they were saying but did not get offended because he knew that getting angry would only feed them. Instead, he remained stoic bothering them even more, "aye chino, is this your ride?" they point to his car.

He quietly nods, "yes."

"Look, man, we don't want to cause you any trouble. But we really need money, so hand us your wallet."

"My wallet?"

"What? You don't understand English?" they start mocking him by pretending to speak Chinese by using "wang, chang, chin, shin lam" and so on.

Noah merely sighs, pulling out his wallet, but in that instant, his phone rings surprising them.

"El pinche chino nos va reportar man!" they get cold feet. But the rest threaten Noah, "don't answer that, just hand over your wallet and car keys!"

"I'll give you my wallet and car, as long as you let me answer this phone call" he stares intently at them talking amongst themselves.

"Aight! But you have to put that shit on speaker! No funny business!"

He complies, answering his phone on speaker, "Noah, did something happen?" the doctor urgently asks.

He glances at their glares, "It's Belen, something happened to her while I was away. Please get to her house quickly. Someone else is watching over her for now."

"What do you mean someone else?"

Just as Noah wished to continue, one of the gangsters takes away his phone, smashing it to the ground.

"come on, chino! Hand it over to us!"

Just then, they hear the police sirens making them scatter. Noah picks up his broken phone, when the police officer asks, "Sir, are you alright?" the officer examines Noah realizing his expensive clothes.

"I take it you're not from around here are you sir?"

"Yes, I'm not."

"I'd be cautious if I were you. Especially coming into this area, if you come dressed like that, you're only begging to get robbed."

"Thank you for the advice officer. I'll remember that for next time" he says, getting in his car uninterested.

The police officers comment, "well son a bitch, even I'd rob that motherfucker. Did you see that car he was driving?"

***

Noah arrives almost out of breath, running up the stairs to Belen's bedroom. He urgently asks Everest "and Belen?"

"she's inside with the doctor," Noah immediately enters, but Everest argues, "hey! You're not supposed to enter!!"

Noah hears cracks, examining the room shocked to see the mess but, most importantly, runs to sit beside Belen, worriedly asking the doctor, "how is she?"

"She is well. There are no signs of injuries, only minor cuts around her shoulders, back, and legs. But she is dehydrated and malnourished. It seems she has not been eating or drinking water."

"Will she be fine?"

"ahem, well," he stares at Everest, "You must be Mr. Fox, Miss Astares's fiancé. A pleasure to meet you."

"Same, were you going to say something about her condition?"

"Ahem, well, that is what I wanted to ask you, Mr. Fox. How did you find Miss Astares? Where was she?"

He stutters, "w-well I saw her whole body lying on the floor on top of the shards a-and she w-was holding a knife."

"hmm? A knife?"

Noah anxiously asks, "where was she holding the knife?"

"What?" his eyebrows furrow.

Noah impatiently grabs Everest by the collar, "where did she have the knife pointed?! Up, down? Where?!"

The doctor separates the two, asking, "what he means, Mr. Fox is where was the knife pointing to, her wrist? Throat? Stomach?"

"Why would she?!" he comes to a shocking realization. "don't tell me, was she trying to."

Noah shouts, "shut up! Just tell us where!?"

Their loud voices make Belen twitch causing them to hold their breaths and stay silent until she stops moving.

Everest whispers, "down…the knife was pointing downwards to her thighs. She was curled up in a ball."

Noah and the doctor sigh feeling relieved.

"Noah, I wish to speak to you in private."

Everest gets the hint and walks out of the room.

***

"Noah, you can't continue to keep things from progressing like this any further."

"What do you mean progressing?"

The doctor sighs, "things only continue to worsen within each passing year. Her body may be fine now, but her heart and mind aren't. She needs help. By stalling, you're only letting her suffer even more to the point of it leading to her death."

"Please…I beg you. Please don't ever say such a thing. I-I know I can help her."

The doctor makes a sincere expression, understanding Noah, "I know you want to help Miss Astares with all your heart. But that isn't what she wants right now. She must close the chapter to her brother's death quickly and move on. That is the only way she can heal."

"then...only by seeing a therapist?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yes, that can open the door to healing the wound in her heart and mind."

"and what if it only worsens it?" he asks fearfully.

The doctor reassures him, "that won't happen, you have to believe in her much more than you believe in yourself."

***

Everest is in the living room anxiously waiting when he notices the doctor and Noah coming down the stairs.

"I'll be in contact with you, thank you for coming on such late notice."

"There is no need to worry. She is resting right now. Oh, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Fox. I hope to see you again under better circumstances."

Everest shakes his hand, "yes, me too. Thank you, doctor."

As he left, Everest worriedly asks, "well?!"

"Well, what?" Noah asks with an aggressive tone.

"What the fuck is going on? Why was she like that? Was she trying to take her life?"

Noah coldly responds, "that is none of your business."

Everest pulls Noah back from the stairs, "you better tell me straight now, what the hell is going on?!"

"It'll cost you your job," he grins, "can you handle that?"

Everest wants to erase that smug expression off his face but controls his temper, "you're using my job as an excuse to scare me, huh? What would you say if Belen personally asked me to be her secretary."

Noah's taken aback, pulling away from his grip, "what did you?"

"Don't look down on me," he confidently says, "as far as I know. You and I are in equal terms."

Noah scoffs, looking down on him, "If you value your job, I suggest you not mention this night to Belen."

"Huh?! But! Then who is Keebo!?"

Noah coldly glares, "all I know is, he's the reason she does not want to marry" he turns his back to him while going up the stairs, leaving Everest speechless with a perplexed expression.