Endure

Do I have to endure? To endure everything?

All the good things and all the bad things?

All the pain and all the failures?

Who receives hurt? Who is the one being hurt?

Who hurts? Intentionally, unintentionally?

What does it matter?

The pain is the same.

Hurting and enduring.

Do I have to do that? To experience them?

Comfort, Love, Misery?

Endure it and smile in the end?

Whilst asking myself these questions?

Crying as I`m writing? Aching during these experiences?

No matter the reason, motive, result?

Do I have to endure? For all that?

Let`s end it. Freeze your heart and braze your soul.

Endurance is stamina after all,

and stamina was something I never had in the first place.

My tears dried out,

The night is over, a new day will begin.

I fear them, the days and the nights.

As much as I fear humans.

Maybe I`m a Sociophobe?

Then why do I smile at people, laugh with them, converse as nothing happened?

Whilst crying in the backyard, where no eyes can see and no ears can hear.

Silent tears, only for the purpose of silence.

Wondering whether I`m the only one feeling this way?

Maybe enduring is worth a try, but only maybe.

Who knows how tonight will be.

Might be my last, might be one of many.

We`ll have to endure to know. A purpose? An experiement?

I have to endure.