Chapter 9

At dusk, the blind concubine feels cold.

"Xiao Boa, is it dusk now?"

Xiao Boa was about to answer when the emperor cuts before him: "Not yet, seems to not be for another two hours."

The blind concubine lets out a breath, face reddening slightly, "That's good. I was worried."

Xiao Boa says, "Don't worry master, daylight is long in summer, we won't be late."

The three drank tea at the teashop, bought sugar candy, and wrapped up some desserts. The moon had risen high. The emperor hired a horse carriage to take them back to the palace.

The sky had turned completely dark. The emperor lit a lantern and took the blind concubine back to the courtyard of his cold palace.

The blind concubine says, "I enjoyed myself today. Thank you."

The emperor shook his fan, "It was nothing."

The blind concubine took a bag of desserts from Xiao Boa and handed it over, "Keep these for yourself. You might get hungry later."

The emperor nodded and turned to leave but thought of something and turned back around.

"Take more care of yourself."

"Hmm?"

The emperor pursed his lips, "Nothing."

The blind concubine says, "Go on now, be careful on the way back."

The emperor agrees and leaves.

The blind concubine enters the house, puts the desserts on the table, then meows a couple times.

"Yu Li, come see what goodies I brought you."

Yu Li lays on the bed inside, wags his tail but doesn't move.

Xiao Boa goes over and picks him up by his tail, carrying him over to the blind concubine. Yu Li meows furiously and Xiao Boa glares back.

The blind concubine doesn't see, thinking that Yu Li is happy for the food.

"I bought yummy fish sticks."

He picks him up carefully.

Yu Li immediately curls in the blind concubine's arms, ignoring Xiao Boa In favor of licking the fish from the blind concubine's fingertips.

Xiao Boa rolls his eyes. You won't see him bickering with that narrow minded cat. He goes to draw the water.

As soon as the emperor returns to his sleeping palace, maidservants welcome him with tea. He reads through the official reports. Unknowingly, it has become late evening, and he does feel hungry.

Opening the blind concubine's paper bag, he finds popular desserts, finely made. He takes a bite along with tea.

To the door he calls, "Come in."

Immediately servants enter and bow in wait for orders.

"How long has it been since the grass in the cold palace was cut. It's tall enough to swallow a person. Who knows what kind of snakes and insects hide there. Have it gone by tomorrow."

The servant replies yes.

The emperor says, "Tomorrow bring in some birds. It doesn't matter what they look like as long as they sound good."

The servant replies yes again.

The emperor waves his hand, "You may go."

The sky has completely darkened. Inside the emperor's sleeping palace, all is quiet. A candle on the table reflects red light on a small part of the wall while everywhere else is enveloped in light and dark shades of black. The emperor raises the teacup and takes a small sip of tea. He lowers his eyes, thinking deeply in silence.

Ten or so days have passed and yet still nothing has been found about the blind concubine.

What his name is, when he entered the palace, how he came to be confined in the cold palace, not one spider's thread of knowledge.

Even more puzzling is what caused him to turn blind.Everything concerning the blind concubine was like a gigantic puzzle, and the root of the puzzle was wiped clean by someone.

Hierarchy within the palace is rigid, control is strict. Even the names of the servants who bring food to the palace everyday can be found, then why not the blind concubine's?

It is like someone purposely hid away everything about the blind concubine.

The concubines in the harem, the maids and servants, if not all then most, know of the blind concubine, but there is no one who knows where he came from. If not by human effort, what can have made such an elaborate cover up?

The young emperor gathers his thoughts silently and remembers something the blind concubine said earlier that day in the teashop. His heart beats faster.

The blind concubine has almost fallen asleep but he won't let go of Yu Li.

Xiao Boa tucks in the blankets for him, "What is it master?"

The blind concubine's are round and big. He lightly says, "I feel like today was like a dream."

Xiao Boa says, "I think so too. But you were happy, right?"The blind concubine's face is expressionless. After a moment of quiet, he says lightly, "When I wake up from this dream, what will I do?"

Xiao Boa sits down on the edge of the bed, "Don't think like that. You've suffered for so many years in the cold palace. Now you deserve to be happy."

"Foolish child," the blind concubine extends his thin pale fingers and grasps Xiao Bao's hand, "This is the Imperial Palace, there's no such thing as happiness."

Xiao Boa bites his bottom lip, "…no?"

The blind concubine shakes his head.

Xiao Boa doesn't make a sound and casts his head to the side."Do you still remember a couple years ago, when you were sent here to the cold palace to serve me?"

Xiao Boa nods his head. "M-hmm."

"That time I was helpless, no one to care for me, and I couldn't see. I prayed for death because I had given up all hope. You kneeled in front of me and called me master. In my heart I knew there was a child who would suffer with me from then on. Why not end it all, maybe you could end up with a better master with me gone?

That day I decided to jump into the well, I had lost any will to live and I really thought I was going to die. I didn't think when I climbed onto the edge of the well, you would pull me back from behind. I almost made you fall in with me. I've always remembered this.

These years you've been by my side, you have never had a day of good fortune. I've caused you to suffer so much. Sometimes I feel that I'm a disaster alive. I want to die but I don't have it in me anymore.

I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave Yu Li."

Xiao Boa raises his head, teary eyed, "Don't put the blame on yourself master. I've always been willing to follow you."

The blind concubine smiles, "Foolish child."

"In the future, if you get a chance, run far away from here and don't ever come back. Don't think about anyone. Don't care about anyone. Don't turn around no matter what you hear. Close your eyes and run away somewhere where no one can find you, understand?"

Xiao Boa shakes his head, his tears blurring his sight, "I'm not leaving you."

The blind concubine sighs, "I won't ever be able to leave the palace but I won't let you be confined here forever like me. One day, I'll let you go and leave this place forever. Think of it as me returning all those years you spent here."

Xiao Boa keeps shaking his head, unwilling to listen anymore, "If master doesn't leave, I won't leave either. I want to be by your side forever."

"This is the palace," the blind concubine's voice grows lighter, "nothing is real, nothing is sincere, not even the heart. Listen to me. Leave here as soon as you get a chance."

It seems as if the blind concubine has tired himself speaking, his eyes grow heavy.

Finally, hugging Yu Li, he closes his eyes.