Chapter 6

The blind concubine says, "Oh my, why didn't you say so earlier!"

He cannot see that Xiao Bao is still kneeling, "Quick, go steep a pot of tea."

Xiao Bao looks at his master, then turns to look at the emperor, afraid to move.

Unawares, the blind concubine says to the man, "How come you are here? Don't you have to be at your post?"

The emperor says, "I've just finished so on my way back, I come to visit you."

The blind concubine feels exceptionally happy, "Ordinarily I do not receive many guests. Having one person who just wants to come over and talk is rare."

The emperor says, "If you'd like, I can visit often."

The blind concubine's eyes curve into a pleasant arc, "Now that's a promise."

He tugs the emperor's sleeve over to the soft divan, "Sit over here where it's soft."

The emperor lifts up the hems of his robe and sits down, then acts astonished, "I didn't see this the last time I came by here. Who gave it to you?"

The blind concubine smiles cheerfully, "Who would give me such a gift. Xiao Bao found it. No one wanted it anyways so it's a waste to throw it away."

As if in realization, the emperor says, "So that's how it is. You've really picked up a gem here."

Xiao Bao has finished steeping the tea in the main house and carries it outside to serve. The blind concubine asks, "Which tea set did you use?"

Xiao Bao says, "The set with the plum blossoms, master."

The blind concubine nods.The emperor thoughtlessly teases, "What does it matter? Why would you use a plum blossom tea set in summer?"

The blind concubine giggles, "It does matter. I only have two tea sets, one with green bamboo and the other with plum blossoms. Yu Li broke the set with the green bamboo so it has cracks in it. The plum blossom set is new so we only take it out during the New Year's or other festivities."

The emperor takes the teacup the blind concubine hands him, secretly planning to send over a new tea set the next day.

They sip tea for a while until the blind concubine asks, "Where is your guard post?"The emperor thinks, then says, "I guard the emperor's residence."

"The emperor's residence?" exclaims the blind concubine. "Is it alright for you to leave your post like this?"

"It's fine," the emperor says.

The blind concubine still feels worried, "What if you are found out and get punished?"

The emperor ponders this for a moment and replies in a serious manner, "I do not think the emperor will punish me for this."

He sounds confident.

"That's good," the blind concubine nods, absorbing the lie.

Xiao Bao stands off to the side, a sandalwood tray in his heads, having broken out in cold sweat.

From his sleeve, the emperor fishes out an item wrapped in a handkerchief and hands it to the blind concubine, "This is good. Try it."

The blind concubine undoes the knot on the handkerchief and feels. Pine nuts.

He puts a couple into his mouth to taste. The fragrance assails his senses. They do taste good.

The emperor thinks that when the blind concubine eats pine nuts, he looks like some breed of small animal grasping the food in its two paws and nibbling meticulously at it.

The blind concubine says, "Can you leave the imperial palace often?"

The emperor laughs, "Why do you suddenly ask? Of course I can."

Hearing this, the blind concubine is envious, "Really? I haven't left the palace for several years."

The emperor says, "Really?"

"Mm-hmm," the blind concubine answers, "Actually from the time I entered the palace, I haven't left at all. Later when I was moved to the cold palace, I had even less of a chance to leave."

The emperor thinks and says, "According to the rules of the palace, that is right."

The blind concubine lowers his head, eating his pine nuts in silence.His face has a slight expression of loneliness.

"Do you really want to go outside?"

The blind concubine makes a sound of agreement, "I want to go outside so much that I can't stand it."

His voice dips lower noticeably, "but I can't leave…also, it's not convenient."

His grey eyes dim.

Since entering the imperial palace, he hasn't once left.

Afterwards, he couldn't even take one step out of the cold palace.

Ordinarily, he tries not to think about this because once he does, he will feel sad.

The emperor asks, "If you went outside, what would you do?"

"Take a stroll on the busy streets. Listen to the children running about. Smell the scent of sweet pastries drifting in the air. Then, I'll buy a stick of candied hawthorn. That would be nice."

The emperor asks, "That's all?"

"Of course," the blind concubine nods, "that's all."

He carelessly let slip what he hid at the bottom of his heart and feels somewhat nervous. He gropes around for Yu Li to pull him into his arms.

If he is holding Yu Li, no one will notice his hands trembling violently.

The emperor's line of sight sweeps over the blind concubine, "It's getting late. I should be heading back."

"Oh, yes." The blind concubine raises his head. "It wouldn't do to be found out."

The emperor smiles, "You remember that." His folding fan taps the blind concubine's eyebrows.

"Of course I would," the blind concubine says, "I just hope you don't get into any trouble, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to see you anymore."

In reply, the emperor says, "That is true."

The blind concubine smiles cheerfully, "Thank you for your company."

The emperor says, "What is there to thank?"

The blind concubine says, "Because no one has ever come here before. You are the first."

After hesitating, he continues, "Sometimes Xiao Bao leaves and Yu Li isn't here. It gets very quiet and there's no wind. So I wonder whether I'm still alive or if I've already died."

When the wind grows stronger at night, the emperor has already left for a long time so the blind concubine carries Yu Li into the house.

Xiao Bao carries the food over to the table, along with Yu Li's dinner which he puts over to one side.

The blind concubine scratches Yu Li's soft mane, carries him over to his food dish, and lets him down on the ground.

Xiao Bao places chopsticks in the blind concubine's hands, "Master is very happy today."

After eating one bite, the blind concubine nods his head elatedly, "Someone's come to visit."

Xiao Bao asks, "Does master want him to come often?"

The blind concubine laughs, "Naturally."

Then asks, "Does Xiao Bao want him to come too?"

Xiao Bao moodily swallows a mouthful of rice and after a long while, says, "…mm."

The blind concubine eats a couple mouthfuls of food, then suddenly thinks and quickly asks, "I didn't say anything wrong today, did I?"

Xiao Bao bites his chopsticks, hesitating, "Why would master say that?"

The blind concubine is a little embarrassed. "I haven't talked to anyone else for such a long time so earlier I was so happy that I said things like wanting to leave the palace and buy candied hawthorn. Was I ridiculous? I hope he doesn't laugh at me, or he won't come again next time."

Xiao Bao sandwiches a piece of vegetable between his chopsticks and puts it in the blind concubine's bowl. "Master didn't say anything wrong at all. That person wasn't laughing at you."

"He wasn't?"

"Not at all," Xiao Bao says firmly. "I was watching the entire time. Don't worry. That person didn't find you the least bit laughable."

The blind concubine says, "That's good," and lowers his head to eat.

Xiao Bao says, "Master, don't just eat rice. Eat more meat too. There's pork today."

The blind concubine's eyes go round, "Really?"

Xiao Bao says, "Really." He thinks, then adds,"It might be because the weather's turned warm so we 've been allotted more meat. Eat more, master. Don't leave any. There'll be more tomorrow."

The blind concubine is happy, "That's fantastic."

Then he says, "Give some to Yu Li too. He never gets to eat anything good staying with us."

Xiao Bao says, "I know. Don't worry."

After the two finish supper, it is already late.

The blind concubine cannot see so he sleeps early.

Xiao Bao lights the candles and covers them with lampshades. He waits upon the blind concubine as he washes up, then leads him to bed.

The blind concubine says, "How many times have I said this. I can do this myself."

Xiao Bao cannot help but say," Who was it who just had to pour the water to wash up but burned their hand doing so."

The blind concubine lowers his eyes guiltily, "I was careless."

Xiao Bao has put on a blank expression, "We will not discuss this."

The blind concubine whispers quietly, "I can't see but I'm not crippled."

Xiao Bao's face remains shuttered.

Last winter the blind concubine said the exact same words. Xiao Bao felt his heart thud painfully in his chest so in the end, he unwillingly allowed the blind concubine to wash up by himself. As a result, the blind concubine burned his hand the second day.

Now even thinking of the blind concubine's hands covered in blisters makes him worry.

Xiao Bao looks at the blind concubine's sightless grey pupils and leaves, closing the door behind him.

The blind concubine lays his head down on the pillow.

Even though he cannot see, he still likes to have the candles lighted.

Because the light from the flames are warm.

He can tell where the window is or where the table is when they are lighted, and thus he feels safe.

When he thinks back to this afternoon, his face still burns.

Why did he say those things. At least he only said them to a guard. If he had said them to the emperor, he would have lost his head.

But whatever happens, he still wants to go outside once.

Before he dies, just once.

He wants to breathe the air outside, and walk beyond the palace walls uninhibited.

Just like a long time ago before when he was still free.

The blind concubine thinks of the time before he entered the palace and smiles.

How happy he had been when he had both mother and father.They lived together as a family, sat together for dinner at the table, as if they would be together forever.

The blind concubine sinks deeper into memory. The gentle candlelight reflects in his pupils. It seems as if his eyes have suddenly come alive.

A pair of bright eyes on a pale porcelain face.

The palace servants were right. They really are beautiful.

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