The Struggle

The girl and boy, who had just slammed the door open, hadn't left the entrance afterwards. They were both still inside the house and he noticed that they seemed afraid. The girl who seemed to be a couple of years older than the boy was trying to put up a tough front but her feet were shaking. The other kid was hiding behind the girl. Hotaka had theorized that a scenario like this might have occurred but he still wasn't prepared. "What... what is it that you want from mother?!" It was the girl who had begun to speak. "I mean no harm, I simply wish to speak with her" He was unsure of what he wanted to do now, the hunger for vengeance which he had traveled with for two weeks know was starting to weaken.

"Your last name, it's Tsubasa, right?" The girl hesitated at first but she chose to answer the question." Yes... That is our last name" He had thought that feelings of satisfaction and relief would be what he encountered at his destination, but instead the opposite was true. Feelings of dread and uncertainty was what he instead had been greeted with, they were starting to build up inside of him as if he was a glass of wine starting to overflow. He took a deep breath and asked, "Is her name... Aiko?"

He couldn't believe that he was actually hoping that this wouldn't be the right place and that this was just your run-of-the-mill farmer family. He was surprised by how his thirst for revenge could so easily be neutralised by the thought of having to kill the mother of these two skinny children. Perhaps he hadn't lost his grip on humanity as much as he had thought, he even started to have doubts about how this quest for vengeance maybe wasn't something he really wanted to go on but maybe it was just what he had chosen to do out of desperation. But then he started to think about his wife and how her death truly wasn't something that should go unpunished.

"Yes... her name's Aiko" As soon as he heard that name, he suddenly started to feel the hunger for revenge return and he put his right hand into his pocket in order to clench the piece of clothing inside. Was he really just going to let her go unpunished?, she had destroyed his family!, so why should she be allowed the privilege of one!

He started to walk with a quick paste towards the house. "Stop!, you can't just barge in without permission, do you even really know mother? He couldn't hear her and when he came to the entrance he just pushed them aside. He was quickly inside of the house and was met with a short corridor leading to the main room of the house. On the walls, different types of charms and masks were hanging. The interior of the house was crooked and clearly showed its poor condition, but in his fit of rage he didn't notice any of those things. The only thing he saw, was a woman who was resting on a futon in the middle of the main room. He clenched the handle of his katana and yelled "AIKO!!"

The woman didn't move and he noticed that she was nearly drowning in pillows, quilts and felts. He moved closer until he was at a distance in which his katana would be able to reach her if she did any funny movements. "Can you hear me, It is me, Hotaka. I've come for your head... Aiko." The woman remained still, but he was sure it was Aiko. He could barely make out her neck from the quilt in the way, but he recognized the scar she had at the back of her neck. "If you can hear me, I would advise you to stop playing and stand up. We're leaving and making our way to the forest nearby, that's where I will commit the deed. Unless you don't mind having your children witness the act, Stand up!" He felt how his anger was starting to overflow, almost as if he could go berserk at any moment. When he was nearly out of patience and having thoughts about just slicing her neck here and now, he felt something bump into his leg. It was Aiko's daughter who had run into him and was making her way to her mother. He saw how she went down on her knees by Aiko and leaned over her in an attempt to protect her mother with her body as a shield. "Please don't hurt her!, She's sick and weak,but she... she still does everything she can to help us out!!. When Soya was ill she still cooked chicken soup to make him feel better and she sang to him... Even though she too was sick! She also always helps me with my hair even though I say it's fine and... and when we first came her, I didn't have any friends to play with so she went around and asked the neighbors to help me find some. Please... Don't hurt her!!" The girl was crying as she spoke and had to force herself to not swallow every word she said. She was doing everything to protect her mother from the demon who had forced its way into their home.

When Hotaka saw the act of an child desperately trying to protect its mother from mortal danger, he couldn't help but to hesitate. He was dumbfounded, not because of any sympathy for Aiko or the daughter. No, the reason he just stood there watching the scene before his eyes unfold, wasn't because of any connection to the people in front of him, it was simply because the scene reminded him of himself.

When people are faced with odds that they can never hope to overcome, they still struggle. Even though it won't change a thing, that very struggle is the reason as to why we people are who we are. We struggle, not because we are trying to find the meaning of our lives, but because of that very life itself.

This was the story of why Hotaka was the person he was and that was also why he couldn't find the power to draw his weapon. The only thing he could do was to watch a scared daughter trying to protect her mother, even though she was shaking and crying out of despair... She still struggled.