A pain in the *ss (part 1/2)

"Mind if I join you?" Brennda asked, gesturing at the chair opposite Manco.

"Sure!" Manco replied, thankful that she did not seem to find his staring offensive.

Pulling the chair back, she satdown next to him.

"You, uh… want anything to drink?" he asked.

"No, I'm supposed to keep myself sober." The redhead replied, eyeing the ale next to him.

"You get drunk from just one mug?"

"No, I…" She hesitated, then decided "You know what, screw it!"

She put two fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle, catching the attention of a barmaid. "GIMME TWO MUGS OF ALE!"

'Dammit these women can really shout!' Manco silently complained.

"Look, I didn't mean to eavesdrop…" He began to explain.

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it!" she waved her hand dismissively "We weren't exactly keeping our voices down."

"Here's your drinks" said the barmaid who put down the mugs. Brennda grabbed one and downed it in one gulp.

That seemed to have opened a flood gate.

Holding the second mug in her hands, she began talking.

As it turns out, Anthony and Brennda were from a town named Deon, a few days' ride to the east. He was the only son of a wealthy merchant. For many generations her family had been working for his, and now it was her turn.

As she had trained in swordsmanship since the age of three and was strong enough to break his spine, she was spared from being his concubine. Instead, she had been his chief bodyguard (and babysitter) for the last two years.

Recently, Anthony had begun to entertain the idea of becoming an adventurer. He had delusions of traveling the land, defeating powerful foes, looting hidden treasures and bedding beautiful women all over the continent.

"But guess what? He doesn't wanna get his clothes dirty. Can you [hic] imagine that?" She said, her voice beginning to slur.

"That's why he wants to learn to use crossbows." Manco guessed.

"Ya. First he wanted ta learn the bow," she snorted, wrinkling the freckled nose "got whacked in the arm by the bowstring once, and decided it's not for him!"

"Wow… just… wow!"

"There are trainers in Deon. But he got wind of master Gwyndham staying in Mistwood. So he insisted on coming here to be trained by the best of the best. Like it'll make him a marksman in one day."

"He didn't make a good first impression, from what I've heard."

"Course not," she said, frowning "dumbass thinks he can throw money at everyone and have them do what he wants."

"Gods!" Manco commented "Must have been terribly hard on you!"

"Oh you have no idea!"

After venting, Brennda seemed to have calmed down. They were silent for a few moments, listening to the crowd.

Tilting her head to look at him, she asked.

"So what's your story?"

"Oh, I'm…" Manco hesitated "…just trying my luck here. see if there's adventures to be had."

"Ha! If there's one thing this place has in abundance, it's adventures!" She laughed "Just a walk in a wood yesterday morning and I ran into three grey panthers."

"Yeah. There seems to be an awful lot of these panthers in the woods." Manco commented.

"You don't seem like the close combat type, do you?" She gave him a once over, her red hair shining vibrantly in the lantern's light.

"I'm not. To tell you the truth, I also want to learn to use a crossbow. I knew master Gwyndham was the man to talk to, so I went to him…"

"I guess things didn't go well either."

"Eh, it was about as well as expected. He shot me down. With his words only, fortunately," he shrugged "Kind of my fault though. I know nothing about the old guy."

"You're a much wiser man than that idiot Anthony!" she paused, then muttered "Drat, that doesn't say much! Everyone's wiser than that idiot!"

"So, you're my companion in misery!" She said with a laugh "Ha ha. Cheers!"

She finished her second mug of ale while Manco finishes his first.

Then screams and shouts caught their attention. A fight had broken out between two drunk men. Before they could do any significant damage, a giant man stomped over, held them both by the cuff, and booted them out the door.

"Take it outside, both of ye!" The big man growled "Ya lots come in her drunk agi'n, I'll break ya legs!" With that, he sat back down at a corner and nodded at the bartender.

After a few moments, the incident was forgotten and the tavern became noisy again. Manco turned back to Brennda.

"How about this?" He proposed "We're gonna help each other figure out what Gwyndham wants. Then we use it to harangue him to train Anthony and I?"

"I was about to say the same." She shrugged "What d'you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure yet. I've just arrived in the town in the afternoon. What do you know about him?"

"Not much, most of 'em hear says."

Brennda recited what she has heard from the gossipers around the village. Manco's head began to spin with the whole lot of confusing and contradicting information. He decided to try a different way.

"Wait wait wait" He interrupted her. "What does he usually do during the day?"

"Huh?" she blinked in surprise "He just sits there in that chair of his."

"All day?"

"That's what people say!" she shrugged.

"Strange. Why would he do that?" He frowned, trying to remember anything about this particular behavior pattern, but came up short.

"Who knows?" she shrugged again. Then she slammed the mug on the table. "That's it!"

"What?"

"What what?"

"You just said 'That's it'" Manco said, a bit irritated. This was getting nowhere!

"Oh. I'm just thinking. He has to get up at some point to piss or something. I'll go grab his chair. So he won't be able to sit around the next day!"

'What the hell kinda logic is that?' Mahn Li screamed internally. But he remembered that she was drunk. And drunk people had strange train of thoughts.

"I'm going right now!" Brennda stood up wobbly and shambled toward the door.

"Wait!" Manco put some money on the table and hurried after her.

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