qas

Robbing The Robber ​

There wasn't even a hint of rage or anger on my face as I stared down at the unconscious forms of the Vanish Brothers. These two clowns were far weaker than I had anticipated. I didn't even have to use any of Batman's gadgets strapped to my belt in the Batsuit I was wearing.

They had boasted about being physically superior to mages, but they crumpled after just five minutes of sword fighting. Their strength was impressive, sure, but their pathetic endurance and stamina ruined it all. They couldn't keep up with me as time went on.

"Well, that was a waste of time," I muttered, turning away. I pulled out my grappling hook and shot it up to the chandelier hanging above me. This mansion was filled with them, showcasing the Duke's exaggerated wealth. Pretty wasteful on his part, but convenient for me.

I thought about jumping along the chandeliers and the rods engraved around the ceilings. With the Batsuit on, it felt almost natural as I leaped, reminding me of the Batman Arkham games from my old life.

Virgo sidestepped, dodging the fiery punch from the pink-haired Dragonslayer, parrying the attack before landing a solid punch to his gut. The young man flew back, slamming into the wall with a grunt as spit flew from his mouth. He quickly regained his composure and charged at her again.

The son of the fire dragon king, Igneel, displayed magnificent durability. The boy certainly carried himself like a mighty dragon—impulsive, brash, yet a quick learner and strategist. Surprisingly, he was using his brain, not just his brawn, more than she expected.

Natsu knew he matched her in strength but was aware that her massive form was not as durable as it appeared. Sure, in her true form, she was an elephant compared to the ant-like fire Dragonslayer in front of her. However, as a contracted Celestial Spirit, her power was shackled, limited to the strength of her summoner, Duke Everlue.

"Man, you Celestial Spirits are a really fun bunch," Natsu grinned, baring his sharp teeth that resembled a dragon's maw. He breathed a small puff of fire in excitement.

"Hn," she grunted. What else could she do? Her summoner had imposed too many absurd stipulations on their contract, and she had foolishly accepted, thinking it would be fun. One of those stipulations was to be the perfect maid.

In Everlue's eyes, a perfect maid was just a tool—only allowed to speak when praising him or when absolutely necessary. Otherwise, she was to remain silent.

Thus, she became a tool for her summoner, perfect only in his image.

Normally, she would gain pleasure from pain or discomfort, but inflicting it on others wasn't enjoyable for her, especially against helpless and innocent people as she had been forced to do for decades under Everlue's orders.

When would this boring, tasteless, and meaningless contract end?

"Fire Dragon's Roar!" The adopted son of Igneel roared, his jaws spewing out a torrent of flames that surged toward her, burning the very air as they approached her giant form.

Her feet vibrated as the world began to spin—or rather, she began to spin, as her Diver magic activated. She tore through the cement and tiles, burrowing underground to dodge the entire attack. Though her eyes were closed, she sensed the young man she was fighting through the vibrations.

She emerged from the ground, her thick fist impacting the pink-haired mage with a meaty thud as the rest of her body followed her hands out of the earth.

To her surprise, instead of being sent flying by the impact, the young Dragonslayer clung to her right arm as if his life depended on it. His body tried to fly away but couldn't.

She was impressed.

"You have such a mean right hand," Natsu laughed, showing no signs of pain or discomfort as his left hand blazed with fire.

Bam!

"Too bad for you, so do I!" He punched her in the face, sending her soaring before she crashed into the wall, demolishing it.

"It's kind of disappointing," Natsu muttered, scratching his head as he watched the woman struggle to get out of the rubble.

"I think you might want help with Lucy, Natsu," a new voice said as Batman—Lucas in his Batsuit—landed near him like a ninja, his cape flailing like the wings of a bat.

"Why?" Natsu asked. "Is she in trouble?"

"Nah, the library is somewhere around here. Just team up and beat up the Duke so we can complete this job faster. Otherwise, Duke Everlue may try something drastic, like self-destructing or using other dirty tricks to destroy the book. We should secure it before that happens." His suggestion made sense to Natsu; the Duke did seem like a sly bastard who wouldn't take defeat gracefully and would act like a sore loser, just like most nobles.

"Sure thing," Natsu shrugged. "She was boring anyway. Let's finish this thing." He cheered before walking away, following Lucy's scent with his heightened sense of smell.

Virgo finally stepped out of the rubble, seeing the Dragonslayer walking away, making her frown before focusing her gaze on the boy in front of her.

Wait... isn't he the boy Aquarius is always gushing about? Even with that cowl on his face, she recognized him instantly.

"Hello, Virgo," Lucas spoke, his costume vanishing and being replaced by his Celestial bronze armor, confirming his identity to her.

But why?

"I will defeat you, as my master ordered," she said coldly. She was nothing if not an obedient maid. She knew Aquarius would be mad for roughing up her favorite human child, but she would understand eventually. A contract is above all else. That's the rule of the Celestial realm.

"You've misunderstood something." Before she could move an inch, a golden staff crashed into her face, making her recoil in pain and pleasure. Where did that come from? Requip magic?

"This is not about victory or defeat," Lucas spoke coldly, making her shiver. "You insulted my beautiful sister, called her ugly. For that crime, a price must be paid." He then pulled out a bucket of water in the same way he had brought out his staff and dumped it on her. She coughed as water seeped into her nose and mouth.

Damn, her big form really does have a big nose.

And why was she getting weak? Is this poison? Sedative?

"How...?" she groaned, trying to use her Diver magic. Instead of the ground bending to her will, only mud splashed around before dying out. Damn, she couldn't manipulate muddy ground as well as normal ground. And this wasn't even normal water. Was this water from the Celestial realm? How did the boy get his hands on it? Aquarius?

"I was raised by Celestial Spirits. I know more about you than any other human on this planet," Lucas said arrogantly as he grinned, his boot pressing painfully into her chin as he sat on her stomach like she was nothing more than a cushion.

Oh, why is this turning her on?

"So let me show you the perfect result of that. Chain Lightning."

A bright white light filled her vision as her soaking body was wracked with electric shocks, causing both pain and pleasure as she screamed, her world turning to oblivion. Every nerve, every vein, every drop of liquid in her body shook as she vibrated with intense sensation. Why did this feel so good? She had never been electrocuted like this before.

"Healing Hand."

The warmth that invaded her slowly healed her burnt nerves and skin.

"You're amazing, you know that? You pissed me off enough to learn a healing spell just to prolong this as long as I can," he said, his blue eyes glowing like intense moonlight.

"Oh, no," her mouth said.

'Fuck yeah!' her brain screamed. The shock was just enough to cause intense pain, and being drenched in water and her own bodily juices helped too. Once again, her body shook violently as she screamed.

"Chain Lightning!" Lucas said with a grin. Her screams grew higher, matching the increasing electrical charges, and she came, her vision turning blindingly white.

I sighed in contentment as the gorilla maid beneath me screamed one final time. It suspiciously sounded like a moan before she vanished, turning into golden motes of Ethernano that scattered away in the wind.

She wasn't dead, of course—being a Celestial Spirit and all—but I was sure she wished she were after enduring fifteen minutes of non-stop electrocution and healing. Not to mention the rods of ice spikes I had shoved into her two nose holes.

Normally, I'm not that cruel, especially when it comes to torturing someone to the brink of death. But this was a thousand-year-old spirit. I'm sure she could take it and had endured worse in her lifetime.

Besides, she called my sister ugly. Who does that?! Even blind people should sense how beautiful and breathtaking she is!

So, Virgo got exactly what she deserved for calling my sister ugly.

Ugh! Now I'm just getting angry thinking about it. The Grimoire in my soul opened, presenting a choice for me...

Rolling...

You rolled: The Spotted Stone [Mage: The Awakening]

This stone bears a design reminiscent of the Olmec were-jaguars and is strung along a leather thong. When activated, the user gains superb sight, able to see in dim light, complete darkness, or magical darkness as if it were broad daylight. Other illusions and spells of invisibility may similarly be seen through using this artifact.

Cost: 300

Purchase the roll?

Hell no. Simple illusion breaker and night vision for 300 points? Things like night vision and resistance against illusions should be side effects of some great power, not through an object that can be taken away and that costs 300 CP.

Besides, illusion resistance and night vision are something my high elf blood already gives me a boost to learn.

100 CP banked.

Total: 500 CP

"So, I was right. You know what this means, right?" I whispered to Happy, who turned towards me with a serious and shocked face. He looked a little disbelieving, not believing my prediction, but it was so worth it to see that shocked look on his blue feline face.

After all, Duke Everlue was on his knees, wrapped up in Lucy's whip and squealing all kinds of secrets—from the origin of the Daybreak book to all the murders and kidnappings he committed around this town because he considered those people pretty.

And yuck, their skeletons were still in his dungeon. Yeah, Natsu and Happy are undeniably pissed about it, being the good guys and all.

"So, guys, we have a criminal on our hands. Hypothetically, if such a criminal had wealth that could be used for criminal activities, what would a respectable mage do in that situation?" I asked, my grin turning predatory as I looked around at the golden statues and paintings with drool.

"Ahh, wait for the Magic Council to send Rune Knights?" Natsu asked, making both Happy and me glare at him.

"And if the Rune Knights aren't coming?" I asked with heat behind my eyes. I never said I was perfect, and there was so much gold... ahh, I'm human after all.

"Didn't we just call for them with a communication lacrima?" Lucy asked.

"Well, they aren't here, are they?" I asked with a devious smile.

"Don't you dare! It's my money and fortune, you maggots—akhh!" Duke's complaints and screams ceased when Lucy's boot smashed into his face, knocking him out instantly.

"You shut up for a moment, you monster," she hissed with a nasty glare, not that Duke could see it, being unconscious and all.

"So, Happy-senpai, what's the verdict?" I asked, looking to the blue cat for advice, as I wasn't dumb enough to ask a hotheaded mage like Natsu, even if he was a veteran like Happy.

To my relief, Happy nodded seriously, keeping his promise and not denying my plan.

"We don't have authority as high as the Rune Knights, but we can confiscate the wealth of Dark Guilds or criminals," he nodded before sighing. "But of course, Rune Knights can re-confiscate it from us too."

"So, we have to confiscate as much as we can before they come, and we can't let them see it because there's a chance they will just take whatever we took in the first place. So it's pretty much impossible," Lucy summarized with a sigh.

"Nuh-uh," I shook my head with a smug smile.

"What do you mean, 'Nuh-uh'?" she asked, confused.

"Did you forget something?" I asked as I raised my hand, snapping my fingers as the portal to my wardrobe opened in its glory.

"Now let's get started!" I grinned.

"AYE SIR!" Happy cheered, not feeling slightly bad for the Duke we were robbing because, duh, this guy was a monster. Kidnapping the author of Daybreak wasn't even the worst thing we found out today.

"Imagine all the fish," he shouted, very motivated, grabbing Natsu as they flew away despite Natsu's protests.

Oh yeah, Happy was going to make a mule out of him now.

It's been a few hours since we left Caby Melon's fake mansion. It went just like in the canon story, except Lucy didn't make a fuss because we already had the reward we were looking for. That million jewels from Melon were nothing compared to what we confiscated from the Duke.

So Caby can have his million jewels to himself, improving his life now that the truth about his father came to light, making a grown man like him cry.

Afterward, the Rune Knights came to arrest Duke Everlue, but not before we were done with the mansion. We even gathered some evidence against the man while looting his place.

After robbing the library, we took five golden statues of the Duke—which we planned to melt down—a golden Celestial Spirit key, and numerous magic tomes, all stored inside my Warehouse of DC costumes.

It's too bad most of these things go to the Guild treasury instead of personal use, but I'm not complaining. After all, the Guild will sort out the items we confiscated, and we will be rewarded too.

Except for the Golden key, because nobody else but Lucy can use it. And as for the magic tomes, they go to the library so our mages can become stronger.

So I have nothing to complain about, as even with 10% of the total loot, it will still be more than what we earn from regular jobs.

It's a good thing the Duke never let the Magic Council or Rune Knights in before, as the Rune Knights didn't have much knowledge of what was inside. And even if the Duke squeals all the details, he's a criminal probably sentenced to death or life in prison in the near future. So they don't have much to fight with the strongest guild in the kingdom from the mere words of a criminal.

But damn, my first heist was a success. Maybe I have good potential as a phantom thief.

"What are you thinking about?" I felt my head being caressed slowly as I turned from watching outside through the window of the train we were taking to Magnolia.

"I feel like I'm missing something," I said, watching her face as I melted under her hand. I can't believe I literally tortured that gorilla for this girl. I know she is a spirit and can endure a lot more than a human, but damn.

Seeing that happy look on her face is worth it all, no matter how much I try to deny it.

Wait… why are we on a train? I mean, it was my idea after we parted ways with the Rune Knights who dragged away Duke Everlue and their maids.

Isn't it in the canon story that Lucy and Natsu were supposed to meet up with Gray, Happy getting kidnapped, and learning about Eisenwald?

Fuck it.

Sooner or later, it was going to happen, so why not? Yes, my knowledge will become more and more useless as time passes, and butterfly effects will alter the course of history. But if I can only rely on my future knowledge to survive, what's the point of being a user of the Celestial Grimoire?

I will deal with it my way.

Also, my knowledge and memories of past lives are fading slowly too. So I have to write down important info before I forget anything else. Just because I hate following canon doesn't mean I can't benefit and prepare from it.

And oh fuck! I totally forgot about Virgo being a massive masochist. And I literally made her moan in pleasure instead of cry in pain.

Now I know why I was disgusted with that gorilla of a woman from earlier.

Argh, she's going to be a pain to deal with in the future, isn't she?

"Don't worry about it," Lucy said, a goofy smile on her face as signs of jewels replaced her pupils. "Our rent, it's going to be so far ahead, we won't have to worry for years." She squealed in pure ecstasy, shoving my head into her chest again.

She's been doing this a lot lately, hasn't she? I pretended to fight back from her grip for five seconds before immediately giving up and laying there.

"You're like my lucky charm, you know," Lucy continued gleefully, earning groans from the sleepy forms of Happy and Natsu while I gave up and accepted my fate.

My journey ends here, suffocated by my sister's boobs.

As I lay on my sister's chest, my soul once again resonated with the opening of the grimoire, presenting me with yet another choice.

Rolling.....

You rolled:

Chalice Murmurous [Cultist Simulator]

A pthumerian chalice filled with blood. Partaking in the blood causes vivid dreams of beasts and hunters, and with great pains can things be pulled out of them.

Cost: 400CP

Yeah, fuck off. I will die by suffocating in the boobs rather than live enduring suffering and pain from the dreams of Hunter and Beasts. It felt like plot of Bloodborne or Soul game for some reason.

And if those games taught me anything, don't play that game in real life, no matter the reward.

100CP banked.

Total: 600CP