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Apprentice4

Apprentice4

Lv5

Seeking Dao through writing. For any queries, suggestions, or messages: Apprentice#8660 on discord.

2017-08-02 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

442.3h

of reading

220

Read books

Badges

17

Moments

196
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Posted

    The novel undoubtedly has a great premise and the way author writes makes you even more curious about the story. Although there are numerous grammatical mistakes that make it hard to focus on reading, it's getting better in the latter chapters. Kudos Author!

    altalt
    queen- (Move to a new link)
    History ¡ _hazel_black
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Posted

    I love how the author is slowly fleshing his characters out. There's no rush, no clear-cut boundaries, and no hurried introductions that don't make sense. Although the grammar needs to be tended to, it is still something tht doesn't hamper the reading experience. Good job here

    altalt
    [BL] Blood Lifeline
    LGBT+ ¡ yohan26_
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Replied to OnizukaShinu

    You can delete all of these comments of mine then bruv if you've made changes

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Replied to OnizukaShinu

    no worries man, just keep doing what you're doing and keep tryin new things. Grammar and word choice and word order'll get better with time

    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Replied to OSM_1015

    'the' girl makes it sound like a title, you can rather use sth like 'vilian, a young girl'

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    My Tempting Book Lover and I
    Fantasy ¡ OSM_1015
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Posted

    So, I'll divide this review in pros and cons. Pros: -Author has an interesting concept going for him, especially in terms of MCs power and his hidden identity. it would simultaneously make a great slice of life and action novel -The familiar school setting makes it easier to relate to -It's worth it to pass time, especially when it's hard to predict the happenings Cons -The author's perspective is inconsistent, some lines are written in the past while some in the present, some active and some passive, though nothing that good editing can't fix. -The choice of words could also have been better but again that'll automatically get better with time. What's important here is keep experimenting, keep doing new things with it, try to create something completely original. As for the problems with language, they'll get better with time. All the best!

    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    too chuuni💀

    "Mere mortal dares to interrupt my sacred time!" She said full-on loud to my face.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    use acquire instead of purchase

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    but after taking so many hits*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    physique instead of physics

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    eye-movements

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    it makes my vision "magnified" instead of larger*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    remove 'a' before dazzling and space between my and self

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    COPYCAT
    Action ¡ OnizukaShinu
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Posted

    Author uses vivid and clear description that makes the novel look like a piece of art. Of course, this style still has a lot of scope for growth but I believe this writing will keep getting refined as time passes. I especially like how the characters are revealed so slowly and carefully and aren't one dimensional at all. Moreover, the flow of the story alone makes it a worthwhile reading. Good job, author-kun.

    altalt
    My Tempting Book Lover and I
    Fantasy ¡ OSM_1015
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    Vilian the girl sounds a bit odd

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    My Tempting Book Lover and I
    Fantasy ¡ OSM_1015
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Replied to PsychoPlayah

    Thank you😊

    altalt
    The Huntress of Silvermore
    Fantasy ¡ Apprentice4
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Posted

    Author here. The Huntress of Silvermore follows a relatively slow pace and is written from a first-person POV. Ask for any questions related to the updating schedule or the characters and the plot in the replies. Thanks you reading this😊

    altalt
    The Huntress of Silvermore
    Fantasy ¡ Apprentice4
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice41yr
    Commented

    Yoo you forgot Jing and Jiang, too many MCs with those titles

    "Those with the surname Xiao, Ye, Chu, Lin, Fang, Su, Lu, Li, Chen… or those with the name Aotian, Liangchen, and Ritian are basically not to be trifled with. They usually have great luck.
    altalt
    I Am Such An Expert; Why Do I Have To Take In Disciples
    Eastern ¡ Wood Easily Starts Fires
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42yr
    Replied to CelestialAlcoholic

    Thanks man, also sorry for the messup, appreciate your comments

    From the second layer, each step they took was marked by a horrible stretch and an eerie sound of their corpses being crushed to death. The marks of fighting on the walls on either side also told them how frustrated the person who did all that must be.
    altalt
    Timeless Celestial's Odyssey
    Fantasy ¡ Apprentice4
    detail
  • Apprentice4
    Apprentice42yr
    Replied to CelestialAlcoholic

    There's a twist with it✨

    From the second layer, each step they took was marked by a horrible stretch and an eerie sound of their corpses being crushed to death. The marks of fighting on the walls on either side also told them how frustrated the person who did all that must be.
    altalt
    Timeless Celestial's Odyssey
    Fantasy ¡ Apprentice4
    detail