Vuld_Edone

Game in mobile games has genuine meta-humor - how to survive players, last boss in the basement - but (as Si_Ri_4661 and Go_Jo111's reviews say) it's 90% exposition. That drowns everything for me. Same as "Reincarnated as a Lizard": I tried.

I guess it would be: - I became the Serpent of the End - The Accidental Archmage And mentions: - Praise be the Bunny! (abandoned) - Golden Feather (eh) - LMFAO (needs work) - Building the first adventurer guild (brain off) - Reincarnated as a lizard (I swear I tried) I'll check that "I make games in a mobile game?!" story, my library is dead empty.

Okay the joke is running thin fast. Leaving aside game dev stuff - like seriously, weak point is the shoulder? - MC is (on top of emotionless) just doing the same routine on repeat. Also, you say you are making an action-adventure and open with a survival-comedy, what the heck. You already completed two stories, you know what you are doing so what am I missing here?

Code is a human way to give instructions to the machine. I like to think that when this trope happens, it's the machine trying to give instructions to humans. Two hundred lines of "get off the couch!" in brackets.

So, I'm finally caught up and the Horizon Gate felt like a work meeting: repeating things over and over while doing nothing. You do tend to stay vague and spend a paragraph to write a sentence. That aside, it's a good resolution and opening. I just wonder what the target audience is. Again, as a slice-of-life comedy your style would work on jaded office workers but you are writing a teens' epic. And I don't think teens / young adults want to spend a whole chapter on loans.

Yes, let's send the most critical world asset in hell. That way, if there are monsters, once they get triggered and our best hope dies, assuming a bird comds back we'll at least have a flawless chart of the mana levels. It's the same world that tells a mage to micromanage the army's couriers so they are being consistent but seriously though, how about the king coles with them? You know, just to optimize the decision- making throughput potential?

Oh for- THREE people for a week, basically to the mountain and back.

Take your most powerful army in the known world, pillage the Free Cities, use the loot for continued gatekeeping partnership. You have only half the forces needed for the bare minimum anyway and if you could raise the water level by 1-2 meters you wouldn't even be having this conversation!!! DO SOMETHING!

Locally it does, I did get surprised. But globally it's drowned out. So, "activity". For... how many chapters now? Leon has basically been doing nothing. And sure he is a "fraud" (sic) at the edge of Armaggedon but a passive character also means a passive reader. So for several chapters now I've waited for the text to stop repeating "this will be tough" and either find solutions or get to the tough part. I really wasn't primed to care whether the Solmarans arrived or not.

... And I'm done.