Billy_Henerson

Overall this was pretty decent, even if it had some flaws. I like how it jumps right into the action and immediately highlights the danger of the situation. Pretty good way of getting the reader to know what to worry about and all that My only complaint is that there isn't much in the way of establishing firmly who exactly these characters are. We don't really get a good grasp of who they are beyond what is happening in the moment or their titles Other than that, this is a pretty decent way to start a story. Just hope that the world and characters gets expanded on more beyond what is happening in the moment :)