YoinksiDaisies

The best opener in webtoon’s hsitory.

L mans

This needs to space out. You could do: “Hey, how are you.” “Good.” Or you could space them out.

The story is good but you need to desperately go back and rewrite the earlier chapters.

Over explaining, you could’ve said that they explain their nation’s stability and discoveries, not needing to know all of that.

You don’t need to say why he died as you explained it in the next sentence. You shoudlve said he just stuck in his hand in the tree trunk. The explanation is alright. Also, “tree trunk of a tree with a face” could be shorten to not touching the tree at all, unless it’s friendly to all? Lastly, you don’t need the last sentence as you already explained that everyone died near the treasure.

My only problem is that you over explain. You could’ve left the ‘near him’ part out since you already said it was close. Another one is ‘grabbed it and dropped it’. You only need to say it once. It could’ve been ‘grabbed and dropped it’.

Is this a author note or character note??

Yes

Thanks ❤️