vitor_lopes

Seasmoke still dies, a slightly different path but the result is the same. You put an inexperienced rider on the battlefield, and in less than 10 minutes of battle he dies from a suicidal attack by a dragon smaller than him. Helena is alive, yes, but she still went through everything she went through.

In fact, he enters the war. After it's practically over, everyone who had to die had already died, what difference did his participation make? Just like in the canon, everything is REPEATED EXACTLY the same. As I said, the only difference is that he made some changes in the Reach and killed some nobles, like the Florents, but the other 60 chapters are of him sitting in an office listening to reports of the war, without interfering in anything. Many tragedies could have been avoided, or taken advantage of; he already knew they were going to happen. He has the largest army on the continent, the second largest dragon, and he's just sitting in his castle. I understand that he wanted to keep the Reach safe during the dance, but then why write this fic? In the canon, at the end of the dance, the Blacks are still almost exterminated, the Greens "win" simply because no one can fight anymore, and even then Aegon II is poisoned and Aegon III, son of Rhenyra, takes over. In other words, there were 70 chapters in which the only thing the protagonist did was save Helena from death, and even then, you still let her go through all the suffering of the canon. The problem isn't what you did, but what you didn't do. Seventy chapters pass, and apart from a few minor changes, things still develop similarly to the original.

I have no problem with Aegon on the throne; I really don't care who sits on the Iron Throne. My problem is that this novel has no meaning, no reason to exist. Not in the sense that it was bad, but that you wrote a fanfic and didn't add anything to what had already been written. You followed the canon to the letter, changed nothing, didn't save anyone, didn't kill anyone. Sixty chapters of the protagonist sitting in his office listening to reports from the Dance of the Dragons, and the moment he acts, you turn it into a total fiasco, a near-death experience with enormous losses for his army. He had other options. What kind of idiot commander marches 70,000 soldiers through a forest while the enemy has dragons and doesn't guarantee air superiority? As I said, the problem isn't the outcome itself, but that nothing changed. Seventy chapters of NOTHING.

I read it simply because I like Game of Thrones. An alternative title for this fic could be "House of the Dragons, a Tyrel point of view," because that's what I read. The protagonist knows the future perfectly, is born as the heir and future Lord Tyrel, and NOTHING CHANGES. He makes several "changes" in his territory, even destroying a noble house, training 50,000 professional soldiers, and losing almost all of them in a battle, WHICH CHANGES NOTHING. He spends 25 years plotting, training professional troops—by the way, the largest professional army in Westeros—he tames Vermithor, the second largest dragon alive, and DOES NOTHING. He takes him flying twice like walking a dog, and in the only battle he fights, he doesn't take the damn biggest dragon; he goes on horseback and fights on the ground, leaving the sky to an untrained and inexperienced knight who dies in the first 10 minutes of battle. He spends the entire war maintaining "neutrality," and those who should die still die, just like in the script. He does nothing for his love interest, Helena still marries Egon, gives birth to the twins, has to choose which one dies on the night of the assassination, all the members of the Black faction die, JUST LIKE in the canon, and the final king is still Egon III. The only minimal difference is that Helena is alive, with him "rescuing" her at the END of the war, after everything she suffered, and some dragons survived. If that was your plan, and you're saying the plot truly begins now, then you FAILED MISERABLY. 60 chapters could be summarized in 2: one for the few changes he implemented in the plains, and another for the Dance of Dragons, since he didn't interfere in ANYTHING. The only minimal change would have been him killing Egon while he was fleeing King's Landing, but a few chapters later he returns and, in truth, the protagonist didn't kill him; he was tricked by the assassin he sent. In other words, NOTHING CHANGED.

Option two, but make him have a wife and the others as "mistresses," also go ahead with Cersei and make her one of the mistresses.

Titanfall is one of my favorite games and I think this novel has a lot of potential, but the use of AI is very exaggerated. You were honest and warned us beforehand, so I was already prepared, but it's a lot of talk for little progress. The chapters are long, which I like; one long chapter is better than five short ones. But if the content is just filler, it doesn't change much. A time jump would have been much better. We're here because of Titanfall. Even if you want to develop a corporation, at least stick to the theme. Nobody's interested in seeing someone developing fancy sprinklers; that's fan fiction. Be creative! You could start as a weapons developer, or a technological prosthesis developer—something interesting.

Another piece of garbage made by AI, problems with plot consistency in every chapter. Over three chapters, the same actions are repeated three times, and the result is different every time. Besides that, he "changes" things, but in the end, nothing changes. Elaborate plans are devised when simply opening a door he already had the key to would solve the problem. Of course, the plan fails, and the whole plot "returns" to the original script. Since AI can't create something completely new, he clings to what he already has.

The novel itself is good, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but compared to other Chinese novels it's far superior. The problem is the translation; names change constantly, and 90% of the constellations and technique names are wrong. For those who know Saint Seiya, it's possible to tell, but if you don't, it's almost impossible to know which technique is being used. Besides that, the chapters are all jumbled and out of order, so you have to manually select the chapters.

What the hell was that? In a single chapter you take a secondary character who appeared once and has less than 5 lines, not even a whole chapter, and then out of nowhere make her the protagonist's best friend and almost a love interest, and then kill her right after to force this emotional crisis.

Cersei