temp_randomnet

Great chapter, thanks! Really love the way you are portraying the conflicts inside your character head, looking forward to future chapters

Damn, seeing this again was a sight for sore eyes. I am wondering have you looked into LOL lore beyond arcane? There is SO MUCH potential for this story if you have. Either way I am really looking forward to the future chapters.

I like this Dumbledore portrayal. Not overly manipulative, no greater good obsession, just an old man with to much doubt in itself to trust himself with anything. Well done Also TFTC

as much as I like imagination in fictions, a black hole with the mass of a coin would explode with the force of the nuclear warhead in less than a second due to hawking radiation. On the other hand a coin sized black hole has a mass of the planet, would be pulled towards the center of the planet and consume the part of the planets core (suprisingly it is estimated it would not consume the entire planet, although planet would have 2x its mass all of a sudden an d would sink into the sun eventually). So regardless how tiny your black hole is you will wipe something. 10/10 would use seal again

People die when they are killed

One of my favorite stories on the site, and definitely the best WH40k story I have read, sides the original material. Despite the fact I hate system fics with passion, this one is balanced and not turning into a power wank or dumb wish fulfillment by any means. Named characters are well fleshed out, even the doomed to be dead ones, and seeing MC interact with the world around him, building himself up and the relationships with his companions is a joy. The only thing i personally would enjoy more is if MC focused on tech a bit more than he does instead of focusing on personal psychic/physical growth (go full on big E route) but that is just my opinion, and will absolutely not stop me from enjoying this fic till its last (hopefully final and completed) chapter And finally: THIS IS NOT A TRANSLATION, PRAISE THE EMPEROR, OMNISSIAH AND THE AUTHOR so definitely give this a go if you hadn't already. Review made after reading chapter 64

Nice, don't know much about tsukihime, but have read the summaries of both games (old + remake), so am really looking forward to it. I am guessing you are basing this one on the original (since lets be real the story is more fleshed out and all around better thought out), but I am wondering will some elements from the remake make appearance? TFTC, Keep it up!

Review 63 chapters in: Personally I hate systems fic, the only reason i clicked on this one is the lack of arcane fics with more than 3 updates. And I was glad to do it. Not a power wank fic, system is as realistic as a system can be. Good balance of crude-witty-lighthearted and depressed-heavy-serious themes. MCs personality is a good balance of the meme you see in the first chapter and a genuine good person behind all that. Also for those who care for romance it is not a multi partner/harem fic so another plus in my eyes. SPOILER BEYOND THIS POINT . . . . . . . Here are some good and bad points about this fic: good: System - in my opinion the worst part about this trope is that any progress character makes seems not earned, system itself serves as a deux ex that makes up for generally lazy writing. None of that here. System allows MC to survive, gain some power in terms of plasmids and weapons, allows character to create some technologies that don't exist in Piltover (by providing transistors), BUT are not to far fetched (etc wireless telegram). And that is it. Furthermore in the last chapter the actual mechanic behind the system is explained, and while reactions have been mixed between the people in the comments, I personally loved it. However with what is going on in the fic now, as well as the mechanics behind the system it is likely that it will play only a minor role in the future due to reveal of system mechanics. The only bad part about it, in my opinion is the creating of the vita chamber. While it serves as a convenient mechanic in the bioshock game, if one were to make a novelisation of the bioshock verse, vita chamber respawn mechanic would be to broken and OP, but again that is my opinion of the subject, who knows what will author do with it in the future Neutral: World events - The MC has a minor impact on the plot, despite knowing what was coming in advance. It feels somewhat forced, but it is explained in a sufficiently decent way so it doesn't bug me that much (tldr victor caused cannon event) Multiverse travel - this is NOT a multiverse fic where character will jump between realities like a squirel on meth. There will be a single hop and a return trip, and the universe is, suprisingly bioshock. In my opinion it is well written, with 100% realistic reasons for it, which i will not disclose as it is connected to the system mechanic which i don't want to spoil. Bad: Vita chamber - as i said, unless nerfed this piece of technology would be to broken for future developments, but it seems that it is nerfed somewhat so it is fine for now Potential timeskip - now this is not yet the case, but it seems we will get a 4 year gap between end of season 1 arc 1 and the next arcane verse based chapter. Now this is still OK in my opinion as if i remember correctly there is a 6, 7 or 8 year timeskip, depending on the source, between arc1 and arc2, so there is still legroom for MC to make his dream of creating Rupture a reality before shit goes down in arc2 and beyond, but again in my opinion that is to little time to accomplish anything with chem-barons and silco on your ass. My own suggestions for the fic, feel free to comment on any of them, (63 chapters in), if you hadn't read it yet there is no reason to look at this part of the review: 1.Consider focusing on arcane verse, by either making frequent timeskips in the bioshock verse, or by making the entire experience into one big one. If you wish to make a 100 chapter content in bioshock consider making another fic spin off that will show the details of what happened there. That way you might also get more of bioshock fandom into this fic. 2. Have MC focus on gaining knowledge of technology, aside from just strength, while on the bioshock side of things (maybe done by a semi-humorous flashback about him being forced to learn by elizabeth at gunpoint to prepare for his return trip, some conflict or something else). Can't have a "leader" of new rupture rely on Ekko/Jinx every time he needs to create something new after all, it's bad for the rap for the leader of scientific utopia to not be a scientist himself! Hell you got 4 years to copy some concepts from rupture to make them usable in your homeverse (once you start messing with chem barons you are unlikely to get a chance to inovate trough trial and error after all). It would also allow MC to reduce his relliance on the system (which, considering it is not 100% reliable) 3. Take in consideration other factions of the league verse that hadn't been fully explored in the series (lead example black rose, check out a nexrit video about the history of le blanc, mordekaiser, vladimir and black rose). There are SO MANY potential villans/challenges in the league verse that are actually connected to piltover/Zaun by some way or another. 4. Use fireflies as a reliable allies after timeskip, no sense in building rupture alone from scratch. And I personally believe they would make for better allies than silco whose entire economy was built on drugs. (Seriously, what was his plan in canon for generating currency post independence? Zauns chief export in canon was crime, followed by cheap labor) 5. Consider making the new rupture moto be something like being prepared for the watchers decent (currently frozen in frelyord), void creatures (shurima) or return of mordekaiser (noxus). Focusing on a powerfull external threat could be a good way to politically unite Zaun and piltover post independence. Message to author: Good work so far, don't let haters get to you (myself included), hope to see more chapters soon. Write what you want to write regardless of what I or anyone else says, anything else will end up being forced.

Binged the entire thing in 2 days. Amazing what you have done to Morgan's character, rarely you get to see an OC having such impact on a non-OC character in a way that is not forced. The bond between her and Alistair is teriffic and I love the way you made her into someone objectively "better" over the course of the story. Looking forward to the next arc, hope you develop Altrouge in a similar manner, as currently, compared to Morgans character development she is lacking (not surprising, we had entire arc worth of Morgan content, and 10 sentences of kiddie looking vampire content). Personally I like Morgan's character more simply due to nature of their respective evils, but I am looking forward to seeing lil vampire grow (personality wise lol) in the future. A few questions tho: 1. is the grail cleansed now? if so i am guessing they won't be able to summon antiheroes for the 5th war? It would be funny to get princess medea as a caster and have saber puzzle between their personality differences. 2. will Alistair be able to keep his rage up for 11 years? After all from what i saw of his character he doesn't strike me as someone capable of that. He seems more like someone blaming himself for what happened rather then Kiritsugu (which is technically fair as it should have been obvious to anyone remotely familiar with Kiris character that he would end up doing what he did in the end)? Looking forward to future chapters!

Literally made an account just to give powerstones to this masterpiece. (Review made at the end of V2 (cca. 300k words)) Amazing work, the finale of V2 had me holding my breath. Solid 5 star work if I have ever seen one on this site. Quality of writing is something I would expect in a light novel rather then a fanfiction. Every single character is portrayed in a way faithful to the original material, author knows the lore of the universe he writes for to an amazing degree The only downside to reading this is the absurd high standards you will develop from works of fanfiction in the future, so be aware of that risk going in