Nicolas_Chavez_2750

It’s Tuesday I see no new chapter for Monday?

See this! I just gifted the story: Massage chair

It was great. Though i have 2 complaints. First is that kalakulta died twice and we didn’t know. I wish I was able to read the first time Javier kills him. You are such a great writer I feel it would have been even more heart wrenching. I already shed a few tears with the second kill(or first one since it was the first one we knew about). Then the final fight I feel like it should have been more emotional. Javier describes the pain he went though after having to kill his freind twice, very powerfully but short. I wish it was further shown through the fight. Just when endeyndral turns into a monster it it feels like you focus too much on enreyndral and his emotions. Turns the fight into feeling like Javier was hired to kill a difficult monster with a young master personality(for lack of better words). This is too critical, I want to be clear IT was a good fight. It just didn’t feel significant enough for the last fight. (I want to be even more clear, Im strictly talking about the action. The action didn’t feel significant or how the monster died)Because of enryndral, Javier had to kill his friend again, of course Javier did the killing but there gonna be unrational hate and frustration pointed towards enryndral, even though he didn’t kill kalakulta. plus all the other things Javier had to go through at the beginning. I feel like their should have been more hate and violence. Instead of the monster pretty much just killing himself technically through over evolving. It was a Greusome death for sure but it wasn’t brought by Javier as much as it was the the potion, even though he does land the final blow. I don’t wanna just be negative though since you did ask for what we liked about it, I always love brotherly bonds in fiction I have 3 brothers myself whom I’m very close with, and you wrote one of the most memorable and complex ones I’ve ever seen. I mean if their was one way I was gonna cry in this arc it would be kalakulta dying. and I did. Also when it comes to the dialogue it is just so good. I feel like I’m in a philosophy class. Your amazing at writing about the themes of freedom and its realities in the world. And bringing back what the Druid said about hope. So good. You are an amazing writer so please keep doing so. You have my monetary support as little as it may be. I want to see this story till it’s end

It was a very good red herring,the dark guild, I’ve been tricked. AMAZEING WRITING.

I wasn’t to surprised that Javier was behind the dark guild, but I completely forgot that the princess and the knight died pretty randomly before being questioned. I always thought that was pretty suspicious. But since their was already the dark guild conspiracy i automatically assumed that was a role in their death and wasn’t to focused on it. Great job I completely forgot about that until now I was very shocked and surprised. Also Wasn’t the apprentice the one that told Javier that the knight was the captains younger brother or no. Was the knight not even his brother and it was a lie. I always thought it was very convenient to the plot that out of all the knights his brother was the one that survived. But I never questioned it.

This story has defied all my expectations of what I thought was going to happen. Incredible story. I’m very excited for what’s to come. Im going to purchases all these locked CHAPTERSSSS!!!