Daoist8W3X8Q

it's nice, some mistakes but I mean who doesn't. Try proofreading them. a little bit too fast paced. but overall, good story.

it's nice , a lot of mistakes. kinda too fast paced. but overall good storyline. waiting or the timeskip

oh, just saw the second chapter. and u fixed the dialogue issue. wow. neat though 👍

pretty nice though, waiting for the next chapter. but try adding more dialogues. I mean the dialogues are there, but add more. Not just narrations. asides that, it's all good