LurkingLoony

*Bioshock Politics Intensify*

I can smell the grains from here~

I like this idea of Lupin being a threat to exposing Pettigrew *because* he’s a good man. I also like the idea of most of Gryffindor vs Slytherin animosity stemming from this sort of thing; you know, right motive and simple method vs unclear motive and convoluted method. It’s hard for either side to work together when they are both so headstrong on fixing things their way.

Not sure if I like this bit. Taking the genius from a bunch of students- and making the idea of the Phoenix Feather Quill meaningless- feels a bit silly to me.

For future occurrences like this, I think it would be interesting if Nigel analyzes the events and points them out to Harry. Like telling Harry about the book with a quip, then replaying it when asked. Just an idea though~

I think you’re writing Harry a bit too mature. He doesn’t seem like a kid anymore, and he’a using and teaching spells and such far beyond what even third or fourth years should know- those ideas for making things to market are awesome, but would probably require using runes they would be far from capable of knowing or using. Though I could be wrong on that, at least. I do think giving Harry some character flaw would help immensely. Something like his hubris becoming a recurring issue he struggles with, or how he spreads himself so thin making him emotionally drained. Just… bits and pieces of a personality which isn’t dead set on the end goal. Whether learning to swim or taking a day to rest, I think giving him less interactions where he’s doing political maneuvering would help a ton.