Steve_Mills_0811

What I meant by Coitus being nuanced isn't just about the 'action' parts but like Athena being in a bit of a conflict with her mind and body, and before the action happened already for a couple of days showing that she needed something, like just for example she wasn't able to sleep well for a couple of days, and there could be more things.

oh okay, well yeah I have seen that some of the things took too long and exploration that shouldn't have, like it felt a bit unnecessary. For some constructive criticism hahaha. There should be some things in the story that should be paid more attention to, have more depth, more details. While some things should happen fast, not to take much time with it, like getting it done in fewer words. I think the part here where Athena goes from not liking Ares to being acceptable of him should have been more nuanced while some of the other parts of the story didn't need to be. Yeah like I don't think what she did in the fields would need to be shown (maybe some contemplating once or twice about herself) 😀 but whenever she is present in his chambers, there more scenes with some detail about them basically to build up the dynamic should be there. A couple of days them having some clash over something, while more days with moments that she gets more acceptable of him, not as a duty but in her heart. I would have also expected her to freak out a little bit when she knows she's pregnant, and it takes a couple of days for her to accept it. And lastly when Athena is actually engaging in coitus for the "first time" (like obviously when it's her will and need) that should be more nuanced & detailed basically. While some things obviously happening fast with not much details.

So now we can finally say she isn't a maiden haha Okay the last 2 chapters were quite wholesome, but one thing I don't understand why it all looks to have happened so quick? Is it deliberate setup for something? Or you rushed it a bit? Normally you take your time with developing something, but they started behaving like couples quite fast. (In the writing i mean not in the timeline)

Ares got mad that she was friendzoning him LoL

Next chap when.

🤨 🤨 Is she getting unconscious because of pregnancy? That was a good chap, can't wait for the next, can't wait when they get along.

Uhhh, I don't remember had he gave her and offer earlier I don't remember, which chapter was it? And oh no when will they stop humiliating her 😭

Ares is the ancient yandere

BTW have you read "Dances with the Vulture" by Athenares. That's another amazing Ares X Athena Fanfic like yours, if you haven't read it, I would recommend it's on fanfiction.net. "The Game has Changed" by China house and "Immortal Vice" by DarkPriestessOfHyrule are other good ones too, would recommend them aswell.

yeah that is right, that makes sense.