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cosmicslime

Lv3

Novice Author. Other username - FIAMMA01

2023-11-17 JoinedUnited States
-d

Writing

7.3h

of reading

141

Read books

Badges
4
Moments
26
  • cosmicslime2 months ago
    Posted

    This book is good, better than most of the books that are on this site especially in regards to the writing quality, the sentences flow and its easy to follow. Not much in the way of grammatical errors either. As for the story, it starts off interesting but its a little hard to keep up with all the lore and worldbuilding, it comes off as an info dump right out the gate. Mind you it is interesting, but the execution could use some work. As for the main character Klaus, he seems likeable at the moment, just a dude trying to take care of his family. There's some serious potential here and the book is definitely worth a read.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Replied to Romance_guy

    That's still being decided..........

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Posted

    The premise here is interesting and the set up around peter and the whole academy is decently being built up. The standout point here is how they actually seem like relatable 13 year olds.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Commented

    Italics would be good for these.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Posted

    The premise of the story isn't really clear for the first few sections, but the narrative clues were engaging enough to grab attention. Also when voicing the MC's inner thoughts, try spacing them out so they don't get jumbled in with other paragraphs. Like this: (Where am I?") Instead of: There was no one there.(Where am I?) He slowly rose from the bed.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Commented

    "Nothing came to mind'

    This paragraph has been deleted.
  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Posted

    This feels like a self discovery novel, and from what I've read so far it comes off pretty well, the thoughts of the main character were clearly being conveyed but, unless I' missing something the MC's name was missing for a good bit. With some clarity in the dialogue, this should get better.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Posted

    A good romance novel. Although the entire matrimony part starts it off a little strong, there was some genuine buildup here and it feels like the wider world is just waiting to be explored. As long as you watch the pacing this will only continue to get better.

  • cosmicslimea year ago
    Replied to Alan_Grimlord

    Yes explanations will come later down the line.