Hiese_Kirisaku

Sure, you can add me on insta. kiana_kiriz

Stay tuned. I will be getting these chapters out as fast as I can :)

Thanks for the comment. Yeah, that was the intention. I wanted it to feel like instinctive honesty rather than her trying to say something deep on purpose. She’s a child, so she says it casually because she doesn’t fully understand the weight behind it, but she’s still observant enough to notice something "machine-like" in him. The reason the children speak a bit more maturely is also because of the place they’re in surrounded by machines. They’ve been raised in an environment with a very high level of education and mental and physical training, so their vocabulary and awareness are more advanced than normal children's. But emotionally, they’re still children, which is why the line comes out so bluntly and naturally.

It is a bit hard to keep the plot clear, but I try to note down specific parts so I don't forget.

Thanks for the feedback. I try to use a similar style to liquid stream of consciousness, where I remove most of the speech tags and allow characters to express their emotions and thoughts freely without much restriction.

The book does a great job of blending vulnerability, tension, and slow-burn chemistry. The emotional beats land well. At times, the pacing was a little slow with repeated reflections, but that’s an easy fix compared to how strong the character dynamics already are.

I like how this chapter builds Noor and Ayaan’s chemistry through small, everyday moments; it feels natural and real. The banter was also fun and showed their personalities well, but trimming the abs touching scene a little could keep the pacing tighter. The rice cleaning ending was very well done. It was subtle and way more powerful than a big romantic gesture.

I love how raw and honest this chapter feels. The manipulation and gaslighting come across so vividly. To make it even stronger, you could trim some of the repeated reflections and show more of the gossip through direct dialogue instead of summary.

Thanks dude.

I really liked how real and vulnerable the chapter felt, and it’s easy to connect with Noor’s inner voice. The contrast between Yuvraaj’s draining presence and Ayaan’s quiet warmth came through beautifully. Some parts in the beginning felt a bit stretched, but once Ayaan entered, the story really picked up. I loved the small, subtle moments, like him knowing her name and how that carried so much weight.