wellappd

Thanks! I'm glad you're liking it so far. And thanks for the awesome feedback🥺 I think I'll follow up on this and write an additional chapter here before continuing the story

"The author only has 4 chapters released so far, but it's showing a lot of promise! Sure, there were a few minor grammatical errors, but they didn't really get in the way of my reading. One thing that might help is breaking up the paragraphs to make the reading flow even smoother, espeically after the dialogues. I absolutely loved the prologue; it really helped me get a feel for the world where Aei lives. Your storytelling is definitely comming along, and I'm digging the way you're building up the plot. It's got that perfect pace that makes me want to know what happens next. Keep doing what you're doing!"

I think this paragraph could be eddited better. One change could be: "About three unfortunate people, near the point of collision lost their lives, while several others endured severe injuries." Another could be: "With the bus now overturned, the passengers found themselves suspended in their seats, while the less fortunate crashed into the floor."

For some reason, from the previous chapter, I thought that this wasn't his first mission. But this chapter seemed to make it seem so. Sorry a little confused. But I love the detail you went to on how this world came to be and the Sorceror information!

Can split between these 2 sentences: "The thick glass shield..." and "Aftre stepping inside..."

It's getting more and more intersting as you read! I really enjoyed how character developemnt and how the plot is unfolding so far! I just have a small suggestion. When the man of the New Order started talking, maybe add a paragraph about the mission that Aei is going to be going on. I still don't have an idea of what his mission is (maybe you'll talk about it in a later chapter?) but I think it'll help me understand better

Jeez! That's promisssing! .... 23 missing and 14 deaths :(

Love Aei's jokes lol

You should split it after the conversations. Will help with the reading experiene a lot :)

I think you should name who he is in this sentence: "The previous night, he had received a message from him." And then maybe give a brief 1-2 sentene follow-up on why he received the message? Up to you, but I think that would really help me understand the context of why the message was sent better