please man, an editor, even just for a rough once over would do wonders. it pulls us out of the story to have to reread lines a few times trying to decipher what they were meant to say

wasn't he just trying to get attention with the door thing? I can't tell if he's supposed to be schizophrenic or the novel needs editing. I can't even figure out what to complain about since I can barely keep up with the weird shifts and jumps

trying to draw attention? so he's an attention seeker and that's why he's been yelling alot?

he suddenly swaps from talking like a normal high school boy to either yelling at people or that "excited anime girl" voice and I don't get why. does the author not know how exclamation marks work? he hasn't said anything yet in the novel that should have one

whys he suddenly yelling?

kinda glad he lacks past life memories, it's not quite as good as just being born supernatural but it's closer. I got bored of the whole isekai memories trope years ago

ghost rider would solo them even if it might take a while pure numbers could slow him down to a few hours if they use them efficiently since he's not armed very well but he'd never lose.

a key component of the difference between hulk and rider is that rider was essentially made specifically for reaping whereas hulk is like that as more of a happy accident, who would make a ghost rider that could be killed by just harming his human body? would be a total waste of resources and a major oversight.

reaper, or death, she either saw death coming or a reaper coming. this is like saying she saw a boxing puncher or a biking biker, you don't need both and it sounds dumb

wait so he doesn't know about twilight?

there is no 17s author, there is 17 or there is 18 or whatever number you're trying to portray, someone in their 40s isn't 40

ghost rider is inherently overpowered anyway, I think he can kill every comic book character besides like a super deadpool or something (not entirely sure so let's say it's 50/50 meaning only one character from all of fiction has a 50% chance of surviving)

I hope he doesn't act like this when he meets people, it'd kinda crap on the whole ghost rider thing if he acts like a grumpy teen

ohhhh THE voice, for some reason I thought you meant his voice was gone like he couldn't speak, I assumed he was in rider form and just didn't have a voice

rode, you don't really drive bikes

"who did i steal this from?" minor translation issue but English can be hard to learn and people are picky even if they don't notice. questions normally start with the subject, "where did he go" "when are they arriving" etc.

this spiderman is probably one of my favourites but I still don't like how "social" he is, it's probably more of a personal preference but it feels like he's just being photoshopped into movie scenes and taking over the conversations which defeats the purpose of a fanfiction. I wish we got to see more "alternate events" rather than just mirrored events with an alternate spiderman, I guess it's more prominent in scenes like this multiverse one where he's literally just standing in old peters shoes and taking his role for the most part but it's still semi prominent elsewhere.

this seems like a clunky way to just tell us they're immortal

alright so not earth

the mc is the most apparent problem here, the title is misleading since he's very obviously the sin of envy not gluttony. the entire first 3 chapters are spent practically worshipping the sin of pride and we get like one line about what the sin of gluttony is supposed to be. either the author wanted to write about the pride guy or the author just wants to fill a word count so we spend page after page after page on nothingness while he fills it out. if you can handle pages and pages of empty text just to get a few lines about the wrong character in the story then you'll probably love this