NoCall
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Hm. Nice. I kind of like this OC/MC. Adapting to the puppeteering Jutsus... really cool I have to say. Even though this is a regressor, not gonna lie, I kind of like the development of the pacing. The OC/MC isn't overdoing it much and the Author isn't on that "straight up OP" type of thing. I mean of course in the future chapter it could happen, but we ain't there yet. I have no problem on what is going on right now, and I quite enjoyed this read. Really interesting I have to say and I will keep this in my tab. Another personal like I have is the genin team. Not gonna lie... I wasn't expecting this even. Yes he did an early graduation, but I was not expecting these characters. It really hooked me even more, and I like this "new" view. However the Author plans out his plot... whelp... I just can't wait to read 😉
Idea of story? 5/5 Legit it was an actually banger of a change of PoV base off of close Canon. Small changes here and there, not much of a biggie in my opinion. Writing and development overall was great up to Volume 2. Even some small hints of new characters off to the side. Either allies and/or enemies. Nice spin to it, but Volume 3... I have to say sadly that I did not know what was going on. Base on what I read so far... side missions (filler stuff???), the 2 year skip canon, Gaara Arc (???), and some side arc (I assume movie related stuff). It felt... "all over the place" if you know what I mean. Not being to harsh because comparing that volume to the previous 2... he had a good run overall. BUT of course there was a comment left by the Author with one of the comments. "Personal stuff happening" and so it can't be help. I won't fault the Author due to trying to continue his story. Things happen and it is understandable. It is quite sad to see this go, but I will say this was a nice refreshing read. V1 up to V2 4.3/5 for personal rating. I liked it quite much. Sad to see this go, but there could always be a continuator in the future or a similar adapt of idea which of course there are plenty out there. This one takes my cake cuz... it is Akimichi Choji HAHAHA. I really did quite like the character in this novel's presentation of it. Yes some thing could be a little bit better, but those little "matters" are small. It was fun to read in the end. Hope you are doing fine Author! Stay healthy 😉
😁 The book is definitely worth while. I know I went a little personal on that rant to be honest. Felt a little bad, but compare to the completion of plot and development will and does outcast the negativity. Will definitely recommend this book to others 😉. The cliffhanger of Book II was a banger I have to say. For the future of Book III, it will definitely be a blast seeing what the ML has to offer going against his friends. Keep up the great work you guys are handling and do stay healthy 😊.
A hidden gem. To be honest I saw this every time and never put into thought of reading it due to the description. Not a fan of dark side stuff, but I do read some here and there. Till now this caught my attention. I have to say I am quite impressed. The most thing I liked is the writing. It felt... "proper" in a sense. Like... it was f***en good to read. No joke. In my opinion, for once I read something well good quality in a fat while. Story development... I loved Book I. It was 😘 perfecto. Hella good of a start. Proceeding to Book II... I won't say I hate it. Its good, but it didn't feel "finished". The progression halted very slowly due to plot interferences that need to happen. Canon, off side stuff, etc. It really felt slow to me, but non the less it was regarding all the new characters. So of course a lot to keep in mind of. With the progressions of their development... gonna be a while haha. Now... about character. Specifically the Main Lead... everything felt good after his development from Book I. The only thing I F***en hate. Evil Illusion Flattery technique really blows. Out of everything in his kit... he uses Flattery and it "forced" a shipping. Part of that development... I kind of dislike... like a lot, but that is the only thing. Besides that... everything else goes.
Another note... Style of writing differs to a lot of people. To be honest whether you want to change and or improve depends on the adaptions you tend to implement. It doesn't hurt to try and it can also help people be more critic on the writing. Be it style, descriptions, verbs, noun, etc. It can help give the attention if known writers happen to get onto one's work.
3.6/5 For some improvement... a more sentence structure. You have a lot of dialogue interaction which is very noticeable to each line and that makes up most of your chapters. A small... lets say distaste because there is no "body" of paragraphs. Don't take it to heart because I am mostly use to this kind of writing. Plus I am mostly an armature into my knowledge so far. Haha. A "body" can contain at most up to 5 sentences into its structure or more depending on scenario. Theme, Actions, Background, etc. which is common to know what to phrase in the structure. BUT. It can vary since there is a lot to write about and what to keep in mind due to describing all these "scenarios". A lot can happen in a single paragraph and help add more word count. Or you can "deescalate" the situation with smaller paragraphs to help order things out. *Quality over Quantity and vise versa.* You have the freedom to sort your structure, but of course it needs to make sense of the "flow". Like your dialogues are in "flow" of each other, but you still need some more OOMPH into these "bodies". Another improvement is PoV (Point of View). You have it implemented, but it can help lengthen this "something". More attention to another view and see what is happening behind the scene while you take a break off your OC/MC. So of course... more addition to help burn your brain on trying to set the scenes. Yes it sucks, but you are setting up your story and plus even more word count. Each chapter can be an improvement and even be more longer. In a sense... a lot more engaging to keep the readers attention. A lot can happen and it all comes down to you the Author. Readers and Writers have the "gist" of their own ideals of standards. The more your learn and research, the better the ideals and making your own. 😎Of course my own saying is kind of armature(ish), but I am helping to some extent whether it be big, small, dumb, etc😎. Something is something to one. 💕Don't stop and keep at it on what you do💕. Each day is an improvement 😉
Finished. Though had to read the rest on some other translated site since it ended at 638. To be honest... I kind of enjoyed the One Piece Verse. Still he was OP asf, but it was kind of cool and enjoyable in execution. Probably give the One Piece Verse alternation like a 3.7/5 in my opinion. I kind of enjoyed it a lot more than Naruto, but of course Naruto was the base. Still the cliché moments are still hella there, but meh. Might as well tolerate it. Had a fun read in the end though. Whelp... one in the books kept.
Way to ahead of yourself dude. Legit just came up with your own story... chill. Punishments vary from person to person. To be honest this punishment is kind of enough and pretty cool on how the OC/MC is handling this. Of course he could have gone possibly your way... but it seems Author has his own plans.