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Dzaava

Dzaava

Lv1
2023-04-11 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

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of reading

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4
  • Dzaava
    Dzaava1yr
    Replied to Dzaava

    Would you kindly review my book as well? It is called Monument of a Labyrinthine Individual' You can find it here https://www.webnovel.com/book/monument-of-a-labyrinthine-individual_26118412705094305

    altalt
    Sweet Intention
    Urban · Stardreamer12
    detail
  • Dzaava
    Dzaava1yr
    Posted

    I can't help but praise the authenticity of your selected theme... though it is but questionable... I won't mind your ideas. The writing quality is not bad but there are possible improvements. I'd suggest adding more actions in between dialog lines, to make it all more dynamic. Other than that, the only thing that didn't resonate at all with me was the character introduction... or rather its absence. I found it quite hard to follow the dialogue not knowing a thing about the characters, though the relationship between them was quite clear.

    altalt
    Sweet Intention
    Urban · Stardreamer12
    detail
  • Dzaava
    Dzaava1yr
    Commented

    That came unexpected

    Liezel hesitated before finally admitting the truth. "I stole your sperm," she confessed. "I wanted a child, but I didn't want to be tied to you forever."
    altalt
    Sweet Intention
    Urban · Stardreamer12
    detail
  • Dzaava
    Dzaava1yr
    Posted

    You could update more frequently. [img=update] I wish I could upload more content but I lack the time to write... By the way, if you have any questions regarding this work, please contact me.

    altalt
    Monument of a Labyrinthine Individual
    Fantasy · Dzaava
    detail